Someone sent me an email asking (among other things) what I look like. There you go babe. That’s a picture of me from exactly four years ago – around noon on 4/21/2004.

4/23: Hiding picture because it makes my mommy cry if you really wanna see it, click here. In replacement here’s a picture of a kitty.

So if anyone ever doubts my April Curse I pull up that file. Don’t worry, I’m much better now and the scars healed. I am still totally fucking metal though.

No real coherence to tonight’s picks, just a bunch of stuff that I though was so amazing that I wanted to share it immediately.

Prince
My Name Is Prince (12” Club Mix)
My Name Is Prince (House Mix)
My Name Is Prince (Hard Core 12” Mix)
Sexy M.F. (12” Remix)
My name is Prince/And I am FUNKY! From anybody else’s mouth those words would sound vain and utterly retarded, but for Prince it’s dead-on truth. (Except for when he wasn’t Prince, but let’s not delve into the love symbol). I wish I could introduce myself like that; “My name is Jim/and I am….TALL!”

Meh, it’s just not the same.

This is one of my all-time favorite Prince tunes, sitting right up there with Little Red Corvette, Let’s Go Crazy and Erotic City. This song wasn’t popular in the states (once again adding credence to my America Has Shit Music Taste theory) but the line “My name is Prince/And I Am Funky” has somehow entered the collective subconscious. One of my favorite recurring jokes at Fark is that whenever they link to a story involving Prince they somehow work that line into it, example:

Sony/BMG to Prince: “If you give away your new CD in England, we won’t let you sell it there.” Prince to Sony/BMG: “My name is Prince, and you can suck it”

He did not come to fuck around.

“Sexy MF” is the b-side and it is a remix of the uncensored version, not the stupid edit. More Prince later in the week, unless that midget shuts me down – he does that a lot.

Armageddon Dildos
Homicidal Maniac (Crashhead Mix)
Homicidal Maniac (Electric Dildo Mix)
Stuck Inside (Fuck Samples Mix)
In My Mind (Classix Mix)
While Armageddon Dildos may be slang for ICBMs, they sound like something that Prince might have had in his room and used during an especially kinky night with Apollonia. If “Atomic Dog” is my theme song that plays when I’m walking down the street, “Homicidal Maniac” is the tune that kicks in what some stupid motherfucker pisses me off. I dig it. This is the last of my dildo stash…wait that really came out wrong.

Killing Joke
Millennium (23 Minutes To Midnight)
Millennium (Back To Orion Mix)
Millennium (Cybersank Extended Remix)
Millennium (Aotearoa Mix)
More great music to listen to whilst breaking shit. The first two mixes are more dub, the second two are much heavier and focus on the lyrics more – which is good because the vocal track to this song is ass-kicking sweet.

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