In 1986 Nintendo released two Mario-themed singles. As far as I can gather, the songs on these singles were never compiled on a proper LP, nor have they every gotten legit CD or digital releases. They’re some of the rarest, and most interesting, music tracks that Nintendo has ever put together.
Across the two singles there are three songs (click on the links to download the songs):
マリオã®å¤§å†’険 (Mario no dai boken), meaning “Mario’s Big Adventure”
“Go Go Mario!!”
クッパ一æ—ã‹ãžãˆå”„ (Kuppa ichizoku kazoe-uta) which translates to “Koopa Clan Counting Song.”
I’m going to start with “Go Go Mario!!” because if you’ve heard any of these, it’s probably this one. This is just the game’s various themes blended together with lyrics on top. The sound effects area little more clean than what’s on the game proper, but very little has been changed musically. Some vinyl rips of this track made their way online a few years back, and a lot of blog posts wrote about the “weird” lyrics. Here are said “weird” lyrics, newly translated by my boyfriend, who is a native Japanese speaker (he prefers to be anonymous here, thanks).
Today, too, Mario runs and runs vigorously.
He will go and rescue Princess Peach. Go.
Today, too, Mario runs vigorously.
Today, too, Mario jumps vigorously!
Today, too, Mario, find the coins vigorously.
Today, too, Mario, go ahead.
Get a Mushroom and you will be Super Mario.
Get a Flower and you will be Fire Mario.
Here come Goombas, here come Koopa Troopas, here come Buzzy Beetles. Beat them all.
Mario is always vigorous and strong.Today, too, Mario runs and runs vigorously.
He will go and beat the Bowser Family. Go.
Today, too, Mario runs vigorously.
Today, too, Mario jumps vigorously!
Today, too, Mario, find the coins vigorously.
Today, too, Mario, go ahead.
Catch Stars and you will be invincible.
Go and rescue Peach right away.
Here come Lakutis, here come Spinies, here come Cheep Cheeps. Beat them all.
Mario is always vigorous and strong.Today, too, Mario runs and runs vigorously.
Here is the Castle; set the fireworks off one after another.
Mario, dodge Hammer Bros. swiftly
And squeeze out every last bit of your strength.
It’s been a long journey but it’s going to be over soon.
You did it! You have beaten Bowser!
Princess Peach says Thank you! to Mario,
And his heart expands in delight.
Mario’s adventure has finished here,
But his dreams will go on forever.
What no one seemed to mention at the time, however, is that “Go Go Mario!” was just one version of the Super Mario Bros. theme with lyrics. Also released at the same time was “Mario’s Big Adventure,” a more full-featured arrangement with original instrumentation, not just game music samples. This is my preferred version. It’s more fleshed out. It has a livelier sound, and it makes use of the game’s sound effects. It also takes full advantage of the underwater theme. In “Go Go Mario!” the singer just talks over that part, this version features actual singing that goes along with the melody. “Mario’s Big Adventure” also adds in a full chorus that’s catchy as hell.
Here are the lyrics to “Mario’s Big Adventure,” again translated by my boyfriend.
Here goes Mario to slay Bowser,
Who is disturbing the Mushroom Kingdom’s peace.Poor Princess Peach, held captive in the castle,
She is in tears, waiting to be rescued.Trample Goomba the Traitor.
Kick Koopa Troopa down to Hell.Super Mario, transform yourself with a Mushroom!
Super Mario, vent the wrath of Justice!Quick! Jump! Run vigorously today, too!
Don’t miss the coins in the air!After having gone through the flames, Mario finds Toad,
Saying, “Sorry, Princess Peach is in another castle.”Mario, love is your force;
You’ll fight with your gentleness in your heart
That everyone has forgotten.Super Mario, super star invincible,
Super Mario, miracle power!Mario cannot make any mistakes, until he rescues Princess Peach
And breaks the Koopa Clan’s spell.Super Mario, transform yourself with the Flower!
Super Mario, give Bowser your mortal blow!Super Mario, Our hero!
Super Mario, glorious victory!
The B-side to “Mario’s Big Adventure” was “The Koopa Family’s Counting Song.” This song doesn’t feature any music from Super Mario Bros. Instead, it’s an “educational” song of sorts that uses the Mario villains to help teach children how to count. This may be based on an existing counting song, but my boyfriend didn’t recognize the melody. To me, this track features the strangest lyrics of the bunch. My boyfriend is steadfast in that the song refers to goombas as “bastards.”
Chorus
The Koopa Family’s counting song,
Here come bad guys one after another!
Koo-koo-koopas are desperate.One:
What terrible bastards Goombas are!
They have betrayed the Mushroom Kingdom.
(Goombas are bastards, bastards!)Two:
Trample and kick Koopa Troopas
When they are turned upside down, they are merely turtles.
(Let’s trample and kick Koopa Troopas!)Three:
There is a big difference between being told about something and seeing it with your eyes.
The Piranha Plant is terrifying.
(You cannot buy it at a flower shop. It’s a strange flower.)Four:
For heaven’s sake! In the sea,
Uninvited, Bloopers are coming up.
(Mario is good at treading water.)*Chorus*
Five:
Fire comes up from the pond.
Mario can dodge it quickly.
(Fire Bars are turning round.)Six:
Seeing it’s a reckless attack, Mario desperately tries to beat
Hammer Bros.
(Never does he fall without gaining something.)Seven:
Spinies are scary enough to quieten a crying baby.
They are nasty guys because Mario cannot trample them.
(Who is the meek one?)Eight:
Hateful Koopa Paratroopas!
They are turtles but flutter in the air.
(Cranes can live for a thousand years and turtles can live for ten thousand years.)*Chorus*
Nine:
Straight-faced Lakitus go,
Dropping Spiny Eggs from clouds.
(They are cunning enough not to get off their clouds.)Ten:
Be aware of Scull marks
As they are cannons firing Bullet Bills.
(The booming fireworks are beautiful.)Extra:
Whether lucky or not,
After Mario has dodged a Buzzy Beetle, he falls.
(He looks self-important but very silly in fact.)Finally:
A laughter is coming from the castle.
Devilish Bowser is hard to destroy.
Beat hell out of him!
The single with “Mario’s Big Adventure” and “Go Go Mario!” that I have is a promo release, most likely for record stores and radio stations. The cover advertises the 3/30 release date, as well as the 4/21 release date for the cassette single version. This promo record is the only release that has both “Mario’s Big Adventure” and “Go Go Mario!” on it. The commercial release of “Mario’s Big Adventure” (pictured at the top of this page) has “The Koopa Family’s Counting Song” as its B-side. “Go Go Mario!” was released separately as its own single, apparently only on cassette tape. That version has an instrumental version of “Go Go Mario!” as its B-side that is apparently exclusive to that release. So great, now I have to add that to my Discogs wantlist.
I tried to dig up more information on these songs performers, but I couldn’t find much. Aya are Nakayoshi Oendan credited as the performers of “Mario’s Big Adventure,” but I don’t think that they did anything aside from that one song. The singer on “Go! Go Mario!!” is listed as “Princess Peach” so good luck finding out who that actually is. The lyrics were supposedly written by fans, as a result of some contest or radio promotion.
Again, these songs are out-of-print. They’ve been out-of-print so long that I feel no guilt in sharing them today. Who knows if Nintendo will ever re-release them. I doubt it. Last year was Mario’s 35th anniversary and about the only thing that Nintendo bothered to do to commemorate it was release a shoddy collection of some old Mario games with barely any improvements or enhancements. Blizzard put more work into their recent release of Rock n Roll Racing than Nintendo did with their Super Mario 64 re-release, and that’s just messed up.
These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to lesser-known Mario Bros. arrangements. I have entire CDs of stuff like this. I might share some more in the future, but I don’t want to go too wild with it. Nintendo might throw me in a pipe and launch me out of the country.