More Mr. T, because more fools need to be pitied. Enjoy.

Mr. T – Mr. T’s Commandments
Mr. T’s Commandment 
Don’t Talk To Strangers
The Toughest Man in The World
Mr. T, Mr. T (He Was Made for Love)
The One and Only Mr. T
No Dope No Drugs
You Got to Go Through It

My first Mr. T post didn’t set the world on fire it seems, but no matter! I am committed to this endeavor of utter stupidity.

Mr. T’s Commandments came out in 1984, the same year as the Be Somebody album and video. It’s much more Mr. T-centric than the Be Somebody though, while that was more of a soundtrack that featured Mr. T, this is a Mr. T album, for better or worse. All but one of the tracks feature the great mohawked one rapping, the sole exception is “Mr. T, Mr. T (He Was Made for Love)” which is a spoof of “Monsieur Lee.” According to Wikipedia (which we all know is never wrong), the vocals on that track are handled by one Tata Vega. She’s best known to most who know her for her performance of “Miss Celie’s Blues (Sister)” on the soundtrack to The Color Purple. She’s most known to me for being in Howard The Duck. Guess which is the only one she mentions on her official website?

The rest of the tracks on Mr. T’s Commandments mostly just Mr. T rapping his tough-love tips to the kids, such as saying no to drugs, saying no to strangers, and doing what your parents tell you. However, the best track on the record is “The One and Only Mr. T” which drops the education/motivational bullshit in lieu of four minutes and forty-five seconds of Mr. T detailing exactly how bad-ass he is.

Now, if I was a little kid in 1984 (and I was), this is what I would want from a Mr. T record! I don’t need Mr. T to tell me to wash my fucking hands and do what my teacher says, I got my parents for that. I want Mr. T to tell me that he can kill a cougar with his bare hands, all while pitying the fools who doubted his cougar-battling abilities. I want a Mr. T song where he just lists the multitude of fools that he pities. And I really want a Mr. T track about how much B. A. Baracus hates flying. Cuz that dude totally hated flying. Sadly those Mr. T songs only exist in my mind.

Anyways, this album is fun, and shockingly worth a good deal of money. I’ve seen mint copies of this record and Be Somebody go for over 50 bucks on eBay and other auction sites, and that just blows my mind. I guess one can never underestimate the value of novelty. I’m also willing to bet that since these records were primarily for kids, that most copies were torn to shit. Mine sure are, both of these took some heavy digital editing in order for them to be even somewhat presentable to all of you. So I hope you all appreciate that I probably spent two hours cleaning up these records, each of which look like they were dragged through a sandpaper factory. I’ve spent less time restoring out-of-print Depeche Mode B-sides, but hey, you got to have priorities.

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 7th, 2011 at 1:18 am and is filed under Complete Albums, Mr. T. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.