I am willing to bet money that the overlap of people who will care about tonight’s post and the people who cared about my Nirvana post will be very small.

Okay, I need to talk about the video for Beyoncé’s “Countdown.” If you haven’t watched it, go do it now. That’s an order, by the way.

What a goddamn masterpiece. How the hell does someone create something that jaw-droppingly amazing? That video is three minutes and thirty-two seconds of utter perfection. Nearly every frame in that video could be framed as a work of art. Everything about it is perfect. It’s one of those things that, when you see it, you’re almost pissed off because it’s so good. It almost makes you mad that someone could come up with something so undeniably brilliant in everyway imaginable.

Or, in the case of some people, it does make them mad, so much that they have to shit on everyone else’s parade.

That’s the only explanation for all the hate the video is getting. Plagiarism accusations have been non-stop and coming from all corners. Specifically, many are claiming that Beyoncé (or her choreographer) stole from Belgium choreographer and dancer Anne Teresa De Keersmaeker. A video (edited in a way to make the similarities even more apparent) showcasing the alleged theft can be found here.

With evidence that damming, even the most die-hard of Beyoncé fans would have to admit that it’s pretty obvious Beyoncé lifted ideas from De Keersmaker’s work en masse, cribbing not only the dance moves, but in some some of the wardrobe and costumes as well.

And so what?

First of all, Beyoncé’s appropriation of De Keersmaker’s work is so obvious, so blatant and direct, that she would have to be an idiot to think that no one would notice. It should be pretty bleeding clear to anyone with a brain that she’s homaging the original work, keeping it so much in tune with the original that anyone who is familiar with De Keersmaeker would pick up on the similarities. Just like how anyone familiar with Audrey Hepburn or Twiggy will most likely see those influences in Beyoncé’s appearance in the video as well.

Secondly, as this Guardian article points out, De Keersmaker herself has appropriated other works of dance for her own pieces. And there’s nothing wrong with that! That’s how art works. Someone creates something that inspires someone else, and in turn they tweak and modify their inspiration to create something unique. It’s the nature of the creative process. Nothing is truly original.

So if Beyoncé is a creatively bankrupt thief for getting her ideas from an obscure European dance artist, then David Bowie is a thief for coming up with the name for Ziggy Stardust after hearing The Legendary Stardust Cowboy; Madonna is a thief for cribbing Willie Ninja’s vogue moves for her own video; Deep Purple are plagiarists for stealing the riff from Smoke On The Water from jazz composer Claude Nougaro; and Elvis is a thief for stealing, well, basically everything he liked from black culture.

You can copy dance moves, choreography and wardrobe, but you can’t copy personality, which Beyoncé has in droves in that video, and you can’t copy a performance to die for either. You also can’t copy that song; it’s pop perfection in every way.

So shut the fuck up and love Beyoncé . Because she’s pretty damn awesome.

Beyoncé
Countdown (Bobby Duron Club Remix)
Countdown (Carl Tio and Morjac Club Remix)
Countdown (Carl Tio and Morjac Dub Remix)
Countdown (Carl Tio and Morjac Instrumental Remix)
Countdown (DJ Escape & Tony Coluccio Club Mix)
Countdown (DJ Escape & Tony Coluccio Acapella)
Countdown (DJ Escape & Tony Coluccio Dub Mix)
Countdown (DJ Escape & Tony Coluccio Instrumental Remix)
Countdown (DJ Nita Club Mix)
Countdown (Jochen Simms Club Mix)
Countdown (Jochen Simms Dub Remix)
Countdown (Manny Lehman Big Room Club Mix)
Countdown (Manny Lehmans Big Room Dub)
Countdown (Mike Rizzo Extended Mix)
Countdown (Red Soul Club Remix)
Countdown (Red Soul Instrumental)
Countdown (Red Top Club Acapella)
Countdown (Red Top Club Instrumental)
Countdown (Red Top Club Remix)
Countdown (Red Soul Club Mix)
Countdown (Reggae Rewind Remix)
Are those enough remixes of “Countdown?” I think so.

I am fairly certain that none of these are easily commercially available. I believe that they are promo remixes for DJs and clubs. The only place I could find them for sale was on eBay, at crazy prices I might add. Instead, I grabbed them from about five or so other MP3 blogs. I would give them shout outs, but they all either hosted full albums you can get legally, or they buried their downloads on shady, pop-up driven download link sites, and I refuse to link to sites like that out.

In case you aren’t interested in downloading all 21 remixes and just want the best, I can recommend a few more than others.

My favorites of the bunch are the Jochen Simms remixes, since they inject the tune with a Eurodance Hi-NRG flavor that I love. If you liked Rihanna’s “Only Girl In The World” then you’ll probably like those versions. I’m also digging the DJ Nita Club Mix for similar reasons.

The Red Top Club Remix is very house-like, and is worth at least one listen because it replaces the Boyz II Men countdown sample with samples from a Speak-And-Spell.

If you like trance then you should check out the Carl Tio and Morjac mixes, since they remove every element from the original version (save for the vocals) and replace them with every trance staple you can think of. It makes me wonder what a progressive trance artist like Hyrbid could do to this song.

The other mixes are good, but not great. The only one I actively dislike is the Reggae Rewind mix, but that’s more because I’m not a fan of reggae. Also, the accapella mixes are not for us regular humans, they’re for DJs, so only get those if you’re really into Beyoncé or if you want the vocals for your own sampling.