There’s a monster behind me.
Well, not a monster. But something. And it’s literally behind me. In my closet.
Let me explain. My office/gaming area/general nerd den has a closet that is directly my computer desk. On Monday morning I was cleaning up when I heard a strange noise coming from said closet. I glanced over and saw a fucking paw sticking out from under the door. That door has no latch. The only thing separating me from the furry demon on the other side was the chance that it wouldn’t actually press up against the door.
I made a beeline for the door, putting my weight against it, it scurried off (probably back out the way it came, the door to the attic) and I immediately threw about four heavy boxes in front of the door, just in case it decided to return.
Now whenever I hear a noise in my home I naturally assume it’s another squirrel/muskrat/raccoon/opossum/bigfoot/that fucking thing in the Creepshow movie and that it’s secretly, quietly plotting a way to get out from the closet and to me so it can murderize me.
So if you see a headline about a large man in Pittsburgh being found dead in his house under mysterious circumstances, know it was the squirrels. They came for me…
So um…who wants some 80s pop music?
Janet Jackson
Control (The Video Mix)
What Have You Done For Me Lately (Extended Mix)
When I Think Of You (Dance Remix)
Let’s Wait Awhile (Remix)
I got these tracks from a remix album! Remember remix albums? Shit, remember albums?
Kylie Minogue
It’s No Secret (12″ Version)
Made In Heaven (Maid In England Mix)
That is not a typo, it is supposed to be “Maid.” Why? Fuck if I know. Let’s just blame it on the 80s and move on.
Like most 80s Kylie, this is some sugary pop music. Sweet as cotton candy and just as light. I listen to it now more as a curiosity than anything else, it hasn’t exactly stood the test of time (unlike her cover of “Locomotion,” which is still bangin’). I know Kylie has in the past taken some her older material and updated it for her live show, but I can’t imagine that either of these songs could be updated in anyway at all. They sound more like Debbie Gibson tunes than Kylie tracks.