Archive for the ‘Madonna’ Category

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Andrew Lloyd Weber and Madonna, but not that one.

Monday, July 20th, 2015

I hope I make up for the delay in posting with this post, which features stupid remixes of game music, Korn and Madonna. I try to cover all my bases.

While I haven’t been updating much here this month, I have been slightly more prolific than usual over at my other site, Mostly-Retro, where you can find a write-up on the vinyl release of the radical Babymetal album; and a look at the soundtrack to Darius.

Speaking of game music…

Doctor Spin
Tetris
Play Game Boy
I’ve been doing this thing over at Mostly-Retro called Game Music Revue, where I review old game soundtracks. Like most things I write about, it’s not really for mass consumption, but if you’re into old game music, I suggest you check it out. As of right now, I’m trying to stick to mostly albums over there, so something like this really doesn’t fit, but this is so stupid I just had to write about it somewhere.

This is an acid house/eurodance remix of the Tetris theme music, which is in and of itself a cover of a traditional Russian piece entitled “Korobeiniki.” This version was released as a single in the United Kingdom in 1992 and somehow managed to crack the Top 20 there.

But wait, it gets stupider. Doctor Spin, as it turns out, is actually one Andrew Lloyd Weber. That’s right, the man behind The Phantom Of The Opera, Cats, Evita and Jesus Christ Superstar decided, well after more than establishing himself as one of the most successful musical theater composers of all-time, decided to give a go on the pop charts by recording a techno remix of a video game theme song.

The early 90s were a damn pop music wasteland I swear to god.

The B-side, by the way, is typical and forgettable 90s house music with a chorus of “Play The Game Boy” looped over it. I must imagine that Nintendo paid money for this to happen.

Korn
Make Me Bad (Kornography Mix)
Make Me Bad (Sickness In Salvation Mix)
Make Me Bad (Sybil Mix)
I originally posted these Korn remixes EIGHT FREAKING YEARS AGO HOLY SHIT THIS BLOG IS OLD.

Sorry, the realization of time marching on makes me type in all caps sometimes. Anyways, yeah, I posted these a long time ago, but since then I bought this single again on much better condition vinyl and re-recorded it. So as a somewhat unapologetic on-and-off-again Korn fan (their dubstep album was shockingly good and far better than it had any right to be) I thought I’d share these again.

Madonna
La Isla Bonita (Instrumental)
Live To Tell (Edit)
Live To Tell (Instrumental)
Borderline (Dub Remix)
I really have to up my Madonna game. I’m currently sitting on a good two to three dozen Madonna remixes that I haven’t gotten around to sharing yet. Maybe more, I don’t even know. It’s funny that right after I decided to come out of the closet that I kept finding Madonna singles on clearance. It’s almost like the universe was rewarding me for being true to myself. A reward from the gay gods, if you will.

Posted in Game Music, Korn, Madonna, remixes | 2 Comments »

Remixes from Three Dance Music Queens

Thursday, June 4th, 2015

I’m back! I’m back in Japan and I’m back to updating this blog. Sorry for the extended delay. Traveling across America seeing friends and family you haven’t seen takes a lot of you you it seems. Next time I hope to plan ahead a bit better and have content ready to go so I don’t go for as long with such a break.

I know I promised a big Madonna post tonight, but I feel like mixing it up a bit with some of the choice tracks I scored while I was in the states. Hope you enjoy.

Sheena Easton
Strut
Three Sheena Easton singles have stood the test of time in the popular consciousness. The first is “9 to 5 (Morning Train)” A lovely bubble-gum pop track about a woman who can’t wait to spend time with her man when he gets home from work. The second is this, an aggressive and awesome track that calls out sexist men who demand the same from all their lovers.

The third is “Sugar Walls.” That song is about her vagina.

I feel it’s safe to say that Sheena Easton has a rather diverse back catalog.

I’m not a fan of “Sugar Walls” (obviously, I have a boyfriend after all – OH SNAP) but I, at different times in my life, have been equally obsessed with both “Strut” and “9 to 5” so much that it’s hard for me to pick a favorite between the two. I will say that both are fantastic workout/jogging tunes, and I have to imagine that 1980s Jazzercise classes featured both in their workout mixes. I’d sign up for a spin class if it used mixtapes from 1980s workout classes.

Madonna
Everybody (Dub Version)
For the past few months I’ve been working on a massive project cataloging every single official remix of every single Madonna song. It’s just about done, and I hope to have it up on Mostly Retro in the coming weeks. It was far more complicated than I ever thought it would be. But I think the end result will be something worthwhile and helpful to all my fellow obsessive Madonna collectors out there. Until then, here’s a dub mix of Madonna’s first single – which has never been released on CD.

Sylvester
You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) (12″ Ultimix)
You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) (Radio Version)
You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) (Dub Version)
You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) (Acappella)
Fuck yeah Sylvester. Sylvester only had two mainstream hits in the states, this and “Dance (Disco Heat).” While the latter of the two was the bigger hit, I think today most people only know him for this song (it probably had more staying power than a song with “disco” in the title). That’s a damn shame, because he has so many amazing songs that I feel are just waiting to be rediscovered.

A decent greatest hits package (named after this hit) was released a few years ago, but I wouldn’t recommend starting with that. Instead, I would pick up All I Need (aka Do Ya Wanna Funk), his 1982 album that includes the legendary “Do Ya Wanna Funk” as well as the equally amazing “Hard Up” and “Don’t Stop.” That album is over 30 years old now and I still can’t think of much that sounds like it, such an amazing combination of Hi-NRG dance beats, new wave electronics and Sylvester’s one-of-a-kind vocals. Just all around awesome stuff. You can’t go wrong with it.

These remixes are from a 12″ single I picked up in Ohio of all places. The 12″ Ultimix is not the same as the 12″ mixes that are on iTunes.

Posted in Madonna, remixes, Sheena Easton, Sylvester | No Comments »

James Brown and Robot Funk

Sunday, May 3rd, 2015

Oh god I’m in American again how the hell did this happen?

It took nearly a year and a half, but my family finally convinced me to go back home for a visit. I blame the nieces and nephews. Damn cute kids blackmailing me with their cuteness.

My trip is transcontinental, with stops in Oregon, Florida, Ohio and finally Pittsburgh before heading back to the land of the rising son and my lovely adorable boyfriend whom I’ve only been apart from for only 48 hours and already miss dearly.

Sadface.

Anyway, I’m going to make the most of this trip, enjoy the time with my family and hopefully buy some stupid and weird music that I can share here. I also plan on eating all the cheese an drinking all the root beer. So you best not stand downwind from me.

That’s right, I’m bringing out the class. Fart jokes.

Honestly, I’m hella jet lagged right now so don’t expect much insight into tonight’s selections. But it had been a while since my last post and wanted to put something up before even more of you forgot about me.

Friends of Earth
Sex Machine
Sex Machine (Instrumental)
One thing the Japanese are not known for is funk, so I was surprised to find that YMO’s Haruomi Hosono tackled James Brown’s classic “Sex Machine” on the sophomore album of his side project F.O.E. (Friends Of Earth). I was even more surprised to find that this version features new vocals by Brown himself, as well as sax work by his longtime collaborator Ray Maceo Jr.

As much as I love James Brown and Haruomi Hosono, I’m going to have to say that this is not an example of two great tastes that go great together. The raw, funky power of Brown’s original tune really doesn’t translate well into the cold, emotionless robotic sound of Hosono. Still, I’d be lying if hearing the two combined didn’t at least sound interesting.

But yeah, there’s a reason why you don’t hear much about Japanese funk.

The Waitresses
Slide
Another lost gem from Stiff Records’ Akron compilation, and from a band that some people probably have actually heard of!

The Waitresses were a one-hit wonder of the early-MTV era, scoring a minor hit single with “I Know What Boys Like” in 1982. That song is probably most notable for the Patty Donahue’s amazing dry vocals, but she’s nowhere to be found on this track. While the vocalist isn’t credited in the album’s liner notes, I assume the singer is Chris Butler, the guitarist/songwriter of the group. This track is a little more bluesy than other songs by The Waitresses that I’ve heard, but it’s just as strange and vaguely offputting while simultaneously being oddly charming and catchy.

The Waitresses were a really weird band. I recommend everything by them, especially their under-rated second album.

Madonna
4 Minutes (Tracy Young Mixshow)
4 Minutes (Peter Saves New York)
I plan on posting quite a bit while I’m here in the states, but most of the music I have set aside is by Madonna, so I’m going to have to try and space them out a bit. These extended dance mixes were taken from a bonus 12″ that came with the Hard Candy vinyl release. To my knowledge they’ve never been released digitally.

Posted in Haruomi Hosono, Madonna, remixes, Waitresses | 3 Comments »

I’m Gay. Here’s Madonna.

Sunday, March 8th, 2015

Do you follow me on Twitter? You should follow me on Twitter. If you did, you’d be alerted to hot scoops like walls of Slime in Shinjuku Station and random rants against sexist pigs.

Oh, and you’d also know I’m gay.

Yes, the man who has spent the better part of nine years sharing club remixes of Depeche Mode, Pet Shop Boys, Erasure and Madonna tunes is gay. I know. It’s a real shocker.

Hey, speaking of Madonna and New Order, how about some more Madonna and New Order?

Madonna
Nothing Really Matters (Club 69 vocal club mix)
Nothing Really Matters (Club 69 Future mix) 
Nothing Really Matters (Club 69 Speed mix) 
Nothing Really Matters (Kruder & Dorfmeister remix)
Nothing Really Matters (Vikram remix)
Nothing Really Matters (Club 69 Future dub)
Nothing Really Matters (Club 69 radio mix)
What It Feels Like For A Girl (Calderone & Quayle Dark Side Mix)
What It Feels Like For A Girl (Tracy Young Cool Out Radio Mix)
What It Feels Like For A Girl (Richard Vission Velvet Masta Mix)
Expect a shit ton of more Madonna in the coming weeks. I feel like I always say that, but it’s doubly true now. I recently bought about 20 more Madonna singles. Add that to the 10 I bought that I still haven’t shared and that’s a lot of Madge.

I now own over 80 Madonna LPs, most of which are singles. I can’t wait until I can go back to the states and mail the ones I have here to Japan. Having my Madonna records spread out across two continents just feels wrong.

“Nothing Really Matters (Club 69 Speed Mix)” is new, while the other remixes of that track are reposts. However, my original post was sourced from a hella scratchy vinyl while these come straight from the CD single, so even if you did download them before I’d download them again.

I might have more remixes of “What It Feels Like For A Girl” in the coming weeks. I think I bought another 12″ of it. Maybe.

Look, I bought 20 Madonna singles, did my Japanese taxes and came out to my family last week. Sorry if I can’t remember everything perfectly.

New Order
Waiting For A Sirens’ Call (Filterheadz Remix)
Jetstream (Jacques Lu Cont Dub)
As New Order get its heads out of its ass and release more of their remixes digitally, it’s getting harder and harder for me to find legitimately obscure tracks by the group. Thankfully I go crate digging for records in tiny record shops in out-of-the-way areas in Tokyo.

Both of these remixes were taken from different 12″ singles that the band put out in 2006. To my knowledge none of them have ever been made available digitally or on CD in a commercial form. They’re very good club tracks, some of the better dance-focused New Order remixes from that decade I think.

This remix series also had a third 12″ featuring “I Told You So (Stuart Price’s Remix)” but that was later put on the Lost Sirens album so I’m not including it here.

Posted in Madonna, New Order, remixes | 17 Comments »

Transcontinental Remixes

Tuesday, December 16th, 2014

I’ve bought so much music the past two weeks I don’t know what to do with it. I mean, besides listen to it. I know I should probably listen to it. But you know what I mean.

Busy times! Apparently Japanese people want to learn English before New Year’s. At least that’s what it feels like, as I am hella busy with work at the moment. There was also an election this past week, so everyone was talking about it.

And when I mean “it” I mean they were talking about the “big erection.” I heard how the “erection is mostly for show” and that “older people mostly care about the erection.”

Pronunciation is important people! Just last week I was trying to teach how to schedule meetings and one of my students kept saying “I have a slut available around 1pm.”

The best is when their English is good enough so I can actually explain what they’re saying, then they get a laugh out of it too. While those kind of mistakes are fun, I do remember that these people can speak English far far better than I can speak Japanese, and that I can make my own pronunciation mistakes as well. For example, last week I was trying to say “you are good looking” in Japanese, but instead I ended up saying “you got a nice pussy.”

So yeah, mistakes happen.

Speaking of mistakes, I wrote about Seven Mary Three and Paw last week.

Björk
Bachelorette (RZA Remix)
Bachelorette (Mark Bell “Blue” Remix)
Bachelorette (Mark Bell “Zip” Remix)
Bachelorette (Mark Bell “Optimism” Remix)
My Snare
I got these mixes from a CD-single/VHS tape box set that I bought for about three bucks. That means that since I arrived in Tokyo I’ve bought CDs, LPs, VHS tapes and even a pair of cassette tapes. I know it’s just a matter of time before I go full dumbass and buy a freaking laserdisc or betamax tape. Sigh. Someone stop me before it’s too late.

Madonna
Bye Bye Baby (N.Y. Hip Hop Mix)
Bye Bye Baby (Madonna’s Night On The Club)
Bye Bye Baby (Tallahasee Pop)
Bye Bye Baby (Rick Does Madonna’s Dub)
I own over 60 Madonna singles now. Japan’s been a great place to find some of her lesser work, like this forgotten single from the Erotica album. I really love the effects they put on Madonna’s vocals for this tune. She sounds like she’s singing through a tin can, but in a cool way. I enjoy the club mix the most, although all the dance beats and effects layered onto it really make the vocals sound out of place.

Yellow Magic Orchestra
Firecracker (Main Mix)
Firecracker (Beats Mix)
Technopolis (The Readymade Darlin’ Of Discotheque Track Dub Version)
Okay, real talk. These remixes aren’t that great. But I was really committed to this “three continents of remixes in one post” idea that it got the better of me. Sorry.

Kinky Go
Gimme The Love (Vocal Version)
Gimme The Love (Instrumental)
Gimme The Love (Radio Version)
Special italo disco request for the Pope. Well, a dude named Pope. Not the pope. At least not yet.

Posted in B-sides, Bjork, Kinky Go, Madonna, remixes, YMO | 2 Comments »

Tokyo Hollywood

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

In the middle of a busy week as my mom is currently in Tokyo visiting me. That’s the good kind of busy, but it is making it rather difficult to put the finishing touches on my last wrestling-related post. I’ll try to have it done next week. In the meantime, here’s some Madonna remixes. Because I don’t post enough of those, right?

Madonna
Hollywood (The Micronauts Remix)
Hollywood (Oakenfold Full Remix)
Hollywood (Calderone And Quayle Glam Mix)
Hollywood (Oakenfold 12″ Dub)
Continually shocked that I find 12″ Madonna singles that I don’t own. Guess I’m not the only person in Japan who likes to rock fierce.

Yeah, Madonna’s “Hollywood” isn’t her best single, but it’s certainly her best single off of American Life, an album that I maintain is one of the worst ever released by a major artist. I stand by that. Sorry. Anyways, if American Life does have a good track, it’s this one, and these are actually some pretty decent remixes of it. I think I posted the Oakenfold mix before, but this is a new recording and it sounds slightly better.

Enjoy, more wrestling next week. I know you’re all stoked.

Posted in Madonna, remixes | 2 Comments »

SURPRISE I FOUND MORE MADONNA SINGLES

Saturday, September 13th, 2014

I KNOW! What were the odds?

Madonna
Why’s It So Hard [Live]
Secret (Junior’s Luscious Single Mix)
Bedtime Story (Orbital Mix)
Fever (Hot Sweat 12″ Mix)
Human Nature (Love Is The Nature Mix)
Express Yourself (Shep’s Remix)
Friday was the first really nice day in Tokyo since the beginning of August (when it gets to the mid-90s Fahrenheit with a humidity of approximately 100000%). High 70s temperature, nice wind, survivable humidity. Just all around beautiful.

So I went for a nice three and a half hour walk, give or take.

The compulsive collector’s guide to losing weight. That’s what I call my exercise plan. If I want to go shopping for records or CDs that I have absolutely no need for, that’s great – but I gotta walk there. Before the summer heat hit I managed to lose over 50 pounds in five months, and I’m hoping that I can pick up where I left off now that the weather isn’t being an asshole anymore.

And while the main winner in this situation is my heart, you all make out too! Because I pass the records onto you.

These Madonna tracks are all CD rips, taken from a series of single that I snagged at a Disk Union. Most of these have never been posted on my site before, save for “Bedtime Story (Orbital Mix)” and the remix of “Express Yourself.” I originally posted vinyl rips of them several months/years ago, but these rips sound much better.

Additionally, the “Human Nature” remix is the first version of that song I’ve actually liked. It’s a synthgasm.

Prince
New Power Generation (N.P.G.) [Funky Weapon Remix]
New Power Generation [T.C.’s Rap]
Brother With A Purpose
Get Off
Lubricated Lady
Loveleft, Loveright
These are all from the CD single for “New Power Generation.” Remixes of “Thieves In The Temple” are also on the single, but I posted those mixes not too long ago, and I think my vinyl rips sounded fine so I’m not going to replace them tonight.

“Get Off’ is NOT “Gett Off.” Actually, it, along with “Lubricated Lady” are really two additional remixes of “New Power Generation.” They also segue together quite well. “Loveleft, Loveright” also shares some elements with the main single, but it varies it up a lot more.

Also, yes, there is a song called “Lubricated Lady.” A song title like that would easily rank as the most offensively stupid in any artist’s back catalog. But isn’t just any other artist, and with song titles like “Pussy Control,” “Scarlet Pussy” and “Soft And Wet” I don’t even know if it ranks in the top ten.

Prince is a classy motherfucker.

Posted in Madonna, Prince, remixes | 1 Comment »

The Second Biggest Madonna Post Ever

Sunday, May 4th, 2014

I got my computer ready to go (the solution to my grounding problem was to ignore it and just plug it in anyways, apparently) and my turntable hooked up! Everything is connected and my recordings actually sound cleaner than ever before because…I have no idea why but I’m going to run with it and be happy.

So yeah, I’m just going to dump the rest of the promised Madonna remixes so I can get them out of the way and move onto posting some hot new shit. Don’t worry, I’ll still post the Depeche Mode stuff somewhat soonish…ish.

Right now I’m listening to the soundtrack to Darius. On vinyl. I’m in a weird place.

Madonna
Human Nature (Runway Club Mix)
Human Nature (I’m Not Your Bitch Mix)
Human Nature (Runway Club Mix Radio Edit)
Human Nature (Bottom Heavy Dub)
Human Nature (Howie Tee Remix)
Into The Groove (Shep Pettibone Remix)
Keep It Together (12″ Remix)
Keep It Together (Dub)
Keep It Together (12″ Extended Mix)
Keep It Together (12″ Mix)
Keep It Together (Bonus Beats)
Keep It Together (Instrumental)
Keep It Together (Shep Pettibone Remix)
Open Your Heart (Extended Version)
Open Your Heart (Dub)
Papa Don’t Preach (Extended Remix)
Rescue Me (Lifeboat Vocal)
Rescue Me (Titanic Vocal)
Rescue Me (Houseboat Vocal)
Rescue Me (S.O.S. Mix)
Sky Fits Heaven (Shasha Remix Edit)
True Blue (Instrumental)
True Blue (Remix Edit)
What It Feels Like For A Girl (Above And Beyond 12″ Club Mix)
What It Feels Like For A Girl (Paul Oakenfold Perfecto Mix)
Told you it was a lot. Have fun.

 

Posted in Madonna, remixes | 7 Comments »

Madonnarama

Monday, April 21st, 2014

A solution to my idiotic power problem may be en route, I’m talking to my landlord about it later this week. I’m sure I can get this shit together soon. I sure hope so, having my computer sitting next to me while I write this on my dinky little laptop sure is frustrating.

So…how yinz doing? I noticed that this past Saturday was Record Store Day. Everyone get everything they wanted? Or were thy screwed over my a manipulated market of manufactured scarcity built to capitalize off of a speculator-driven bubble that’s due to burst any day now and take down the vinyl boom with it?

Oh, sorry was that too harsh? I’m having some pretty mixed feelings on Record Store Day as of late, hopefully I’ll be able to put something a bit more organized and concrete about my feelings later this week. Arguing with boutique record labels really frustrated me.

In the meantime, here are some remixes to two of the greatest pop songs ever recorded. I’m going out of alphabetical order tonight because I fucked up it’s my blog and I do what I want to.

Madonna
Express Yourself (Non-Stop Express Mix)
Express Yourself (Stop & Go Dubs)
Express Yourself (Local Mix)
Like A Prayer (7 Inch Remix)
Like A Prayer (12 Inch Club Version)
Like A Prayer (12 Inch Dance Mix)
Like A Prayer (12 Inch Extended Remix)
Like A Prayer (Bass Dub)
Like A Prayer (Churchapella)
Like A Prayer (Instra Dub)
Like A Prayer (Dub Beats)
The “Express Yoursellf” remixes were all taken from the 12″ single, while the “Like A Prayer” ones were culled from two different 12″ singles, one commercially released and one a club promo. Despite their similar names, all the 12″ remixes are different. They are also all worth hearing.

Posted in Madonna, remixes | 2 Comments »

More Madonna and someone help me

Wednesday, April 16th, 2014

Okay everyone, a billion thanks, cookies, MP3s and hugs to anyone who can figure out this bullshit for me.

My computer from the US has arrived in Japan! Yay! However, its power supply is of the three-prong variety, meaning  I need a three prong power cord in order to plug it in. That’s not a problem, I can get those in Japan. However, since I am in Japan, all my outlets are of the two prong variety. I bought a few three-to-two prong converters, but there’s a problem with those. Those kind of converters have a little clamp attached to them. You’re supposed to screw them to your outlet to ground it correctly. See here for an example.

Yeah, that’s great except outlets in Japan don’t have those screws. And I can’t take the outlet off the wall because it’s attached to the drywall.

So what the fuck are my options? I’m really frustrated and pissed off about this, and equally frustrated that no one can explain to me WHY this is such a complicated problem. It’s 2014 y’all! We can build a solar-powered plane that can fly forever but we can’t build some sort of converter that can fucking ground a goddamn outlet? Why the fuck not? Why is this so complicated?! I’m half-tempted just to strip out my PC’s power supply and replace it with a two-prong one…if I knew how to do that at all.

So yeah, want new music on Lost Turntable? Solve this problem. How do I safely ground my computer with absolutely no possible way to ground it the way that every single poorly-written, idiotic, “you must be in America, right? So we’ll right this about American electronics only” guide fails to fucking mention.

Argh.

Here’s a mediocre Madonna song.

Madonna
Deeper And Deeper (Shep’s Classic 12 Inch Mix)
Deeper And Deeper (Shep’s Deep Makeover Mix)
Deeper And Deeper (Shep’s Deep Beats)
Deeper And Deeper (David’s Klub Mix)
Deeper And Deeper (David’s Deeper Dub)
Deeper And Deeper (Shep’s Deeper Dub)
Drowned World/Substitute For Love (BT and Sasha’s Bucklodge Ashram Remix)
I’m not really a fan of “Deeper And Deeper” but I am a fan of being a completist, hence me owning the 12″ single an the six remixes that came with it.

Posted in Madonna, remixes | 10 Comments »

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