Archive for the ‘Madonna’ Category

Newer Entries »

Let’s Get Subconscious

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

FYI: Listening to a song that has the repeated line “Let’s get unconscious” when you’re struggling to stay awake to get work done is not advisable.

Sade
Smooth Operator (12” Version)
This crazy-long version of “Smooth Operator” is smooth as shit. You’ll be listening to it and think “damn, this shit is smooth” and “I wish I could operate in a fashion as smooth as this operator operates” or something. Some might say that this version of “Smooth Operator” is too smooth. That it’s sexy smoothness and subtle sexiness might slip you into a state of permanent smooth jazz euphoria that you could never escape from. Those people might be right! So you’ve been warned. I got this off of a 12” promo single and I don’t believe that this particular version has ever been released commercially. If I am wrong please correct me in a polite manner.

Dead Or Alive
Something In My House (Mortevicar Mix)
Something In My House (Flamenco Mix)
Something In My House (US Wipe Out Mix-Part 2)
I bought this single per request. That’s right. I didn’t even own this until someone asked me to buy it and record it for them. How does one get such preferential treatment? Well, being my boss sure as hell helps let me tell you. So if you really want a rare 80s remix posted here, hire me to write CD reviews. Total win-win for everyone involved. I work very cheap. This 12” single was requested specifically for the Mortevicar Mix, which features random creepy samples from The Exorcist. Shockingly, the Flamenco Mix is accurately-named, what with it’s excessive flamenco guitars. I don’t know what makes the final mix so “US” though, maybe us Americans like excessive vocal stuttering and guitar solos?

Madonna
Bedtime Story (Junior’s Sound Factory Mix)
Bedtime Story (Junior’s Sound Factory Dub)
Bedtime Story (Orbital Mix)
Bedtime Story (Junior’s Wet Dream Mix)
Hey, this is the Madonna song that Bjork (kinda) wrote. Which is definitely the explanation for why it was the strangest Madonna single until “American Life.” However, unlike “American Life”, this song doesn’t suck joy out of life. I know a woman who can recite, by memory, the entire rap of “American Life”. She’s pretty awesome in spite of this though and I try not to hold it against her. It’s difficult though. It’s hard to talk to someone who doesn’t have taste in high art like the soundtrack to Howard the Duck after all.

Anyways, stuff about this song: Like I said before, it was written by Bjork, but was supposedly re-written so many of her lyrics were removed or changed. I don’t know how much of that I believe, but I read it on the internet so it must be true! These remixes are pretty stellar. My favorite is the one by Orbital, but Junior’s mixes are quality as well. This single had a dub of the unfortunately titled “Wet Dream Mix” but it was scratched beyond repair. Sorry.

Posted in Dead Or Alive, Madonna, remixes, Sade | 5 Comments »

Fuck Leno (And the Cards too)

Monday, January 11th, 2010

I’m writing this at 11:11 on 01/10/10. That’s…a lot of ones.

I am disgruntled. All the playoff games sucked this weekend save for the Pack/Cards game. But the team I wanted to win that one didn’t so it was all for naught anyways. Not like it matters though, I think we all know that either the Vikings or New Orleans is going to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. Then there’s the bullshit involving Leno. I hate that big-chinned prick. Always have. I only ever watched his show because he tended to have better guests than Letterman and it was the only way I wouldn’t forget to watch Conan. I can’t believe he’s getting his old time slot back! How the fuck does that work? His show sucks and no one watches it! So his reward is to go back to his old timeslot? Kevin Smith once said that in Hollywood you fail upwards, I guess he was right.

NBC is run by retarded crack-addicted howler monkeys. And Jay Leno is a walking taint with a chin. Sigh.

Oh yeah, music! Um, here’s some stuff!

Madonna
Rescue Me (Titanic Vocal)
Rescue Me (Lifeboat Vocal)
Rescue Me (Houseboat Vocal)
This is one of the “lesser” Madonna singles, it cracked the Top 10 on Billboard, but just barely. The fact that it was the follow-up to the kinktastic “Justify My Love” didn’t help that much, and neither did the fact that the song just isn’t that great (in my opinion anyways). These remixes take the song and transform it into a house track in a big way, and one can imagine that this 12” was a big hit on the NYC club circuit at the time – which has always been Madonna’s target audience anyway.

Lene Lovich
New Toy (Extended Mix)
Lene Lovich was born in Detroit but her family moved to England when she was still a kid. That is both the definition of “moving up” and “dodging a bullet” if there ever was one. In the late 70s she was on Stiff Records, adding further credence to my belief that Stiff Records in the late 70s probably had the the best line-up of any label in the history of all things. This extended mix of one of her best tunes (written by Thomas Dolby!) is from a 12” single.

Doug E. Fresh & The Get Fresh Crew
Spirit (Extended Version)
Spirit (Instrumental)
Spirit (Spirit Dub)
So another MP3 blog might have a song from the Ghostbusters II soundtrack, but would they have the instrumental version and the dub version as well? I didn’t think so, for that kind of useless bullshit you have to come to The Lost Turntable.

Posted in Doug E. Fresh, Lene Lovich, Madonna, remixes | 4 Comments »

Hopped Up On Goofballs

Friday, April 17th, 2009

So I broke/tore/snapped/fucked up a joint in my ribs by lifting an aquarium. I didn’t even know my ribs had joints. Regardless, that hurt a lot. But I’m flying high tonight thanks to painkillers.

This post is brought to you by Vicadin, the letter “H” and the number “pink.”

Woah, I think this shit is starting to kick in. I better make this quick.

Quick note too, I’m still looking for some good blogs, so please share any links you have (that’s not to say the links submitted weren’t good, I just haven’t looked at them that much yet). And contray to what shitstains out there may think, posting a link to your own blog isn’t trolling. Being a little moron and picking fights is though.

New Order
Here To Stay (Felix Da Housecat’s Extended Gltiz Mix)
Here To Stay (Scumfrog Dub Mix)
This is not a cover of th Korn “classic” (although that would have been wrong/AWESOME), instead its a track New Order released for the soundtrack to 24 Hour Party People, a movie about Factory Records. Makes sense. The track was produced by The Chemical Brothers, and has a definite house vibe to it, especially the remixes, big beats abound.

Breakfast Club
Expressway To Your Heart (The Shep Pettibone Mix)
The band Madonna was in before she was Madonna. They never released anything with that version of the line-up. This is a cover of the Philly Soul classic originally released by The Soul Survivors back in the 60s. This remix is from a 12” single and it takes what was already an 80s-tarded update of the tune and rockets it to mega80starded proporations. Yes, I said 80s-tarded, I just invented it. I’m gonna copyright that shit.

Madonna
Human Nature (Runway Club Mix)
Human Nature (I’m Not Your Bitch Mix)
Human Nature (Bottom Heavy Dub)
And here’s Madonna, I didn’t even plan that synergy, it just kind of happened. I think. I don’t remember. I think I should go lay down.

Posted in Breakfast Club, Madonna, New Order, remixes, Vicadin is a hell of a drug | 6 Comments »

Newer Entries »