In my angsty-rage I’ve totally forgotten that this month marks the two year anniversary of The Lost Turntable. Just like last year I’m making an exception and will be reposting select tracks that people missed the first time around. Once again I am making no promises that I will repost the tracks you want, but if you ask it may come back. But don’t expect anything like this again. I don’t got the time for that bullshit.

Leave requests in the comment section for this post ONLY.

Okay, I’m really angry right now. I got my reasons and I’m going to stick by them, but what is really getting my goat at the moment is the news that Converse is releasing a limited edition series of “Kurt Cobian Converse” that will feature his signature and selected passages and images from his journals plastered on the sides and even in the soles of them. You can read more (and see vomit-inducing pics of the monstrosities) here. And before you ask, yes Courtney was involved.

Sigh…I don’t even know where to begin.

I don’t consider Kurt a saint or some heavenly figure that is beyond reproach or anything like that, but this is fucked up. How do you, with a clear conscience, exploit and commercialize someone who spent his entire life not wanting to be exploited or commercialized? I don’t have a problem with Nirvana songs being used in movies or video games – but this crosses the line into poor taste. How does Courtney justify this move in her fucked-up overly medicated shitstorm of a mind.

Secondly, the idea of plastering them with writings from Kurt’s journals is just a real dick move. I was against the publication of those journals when they were first released and this just pisses me off more. Kurt was an intensely private individual and would not want to see people sporting his personal writings as hip fashion statements.

Also the whole “punk rock is freedom” thing is something Kurt wrote a very long time ago (I know this from reading Heavier Than Heaven – a good but not great book about Kurt) and it was something he later recanted as he became upset with the punk rock community’s inability to embrace anything new.

Since Converse (and Courtney) are so willing to let the world view Kurt’s inner-pain and deepest feelings in the form of shoes, why don’t they make a model off of this pair:

I can imagine the ad copy now, “Converse’s Cobain Collection continues with the extra-limited edition Suicide Black Edition! Each pair comes with dirt and bloodstains as well as the faint smell of gunpowder and rotting flesh!”

I also want to mention that ever since Converse was bought by Nike their shoes suck.

But you probably didn’t come here to read my rantings and ravings about a capitalist society gone amuck and the raping of our culture did you? You came here for the music. Well, you’re still not going to escape Nirvana because everything today is by them. These tracks are from a large variety of sources, including official imports and singles, compilation albums and bootlegs (mainly the Outcesticide series). I didn’t include anything that is easily available though. Nor did I select anything that was on the With The Lights Out box set.

Do You Love Me?
This was originally on a Kiss tribute album called Hard To Believe. Krist sings on this one and after about 20 seconds of hearing it you’ll understand why they never let the lanky bastard sing again. I had a friend who had this track and he played it so much one day that his mom grounded him – it annoyed her that much.

Return Of The Rat
This was originally recorded by The Wipers and released on a Wipers tribute album. It was eventually put out on the With The Lights Out box set, but that version was remixed and tweaked. This is the original version that appeared on the tribute album.

Lithium (Alternate Version “Mix Six”)
This recording of slightly subpar quality is an early version of Lithium. It’s much shorter than the final one.

The Money Will Roll Right In
Not a Nirvana original. I don’t know where this recording was originally from or who recorded it first.

Untitled Home Demo
This is frequently called “Bambi Kill'” or “Bambi Slaughter” by bootleggers. But that’s an entirely different tune. Odds are this doesn’t even have a name.

Asking For It
A Hole song. This early version features Kurt on backup vocals though. He pops in at the end.

Blew (Live)
Been A Son (Live)
Stain (Live)
These three live tracks are taken off of a vinyl 45 bootleg called “Alive II”. I can’t find my physical copy right now, but I remember it mentioning that they were recorded at The Blind Pig in Ann Arbor.

Moist Vagina
A demo version of this insanely creepy tune was on the With The Lights Out box set but oddly enough the final studio version was left off. It was previously released on the All Apologies CD single.

Spank Thru (1985 Fecal Matter Recording)
Sappy (1990 Studio Demo)
Come As You Are (Boom Box Version)
These three demos and home recordings are from the “Sliver: Best Of The Box” release. Courtney put these three tracks that weren’t on the box set on this single CD release to gyp completists out there into buying both. Smooth move there bitch. You think the sales of the massive box set would’ve given the whore enough money, but I guess those drugs aren’t cheap.

Spank Thru
As far as I know this is the studio version of the ode to masturbation that was originally on Sub Pop 200. I could be wrong though. I do know that the studio version was inexplicably left off of the With The Lights Out box set.

Random Bullshit
This untitled track was a bonus to freaks like me who picked up “From The Muddy Banks Of The Wishkah.” It’s not a song but rather a collection of funny things Kurt, Dave and Krist said on stage. This caused a temporary catch phrase between my friends and I after we first heard it; “You called me a vagina? How dare you?”

In my angsty-rage I’ve totally forgotten that this month marks the two year anniversary of The Lost Turntable. Just like last year I’m making an exception and will be reposting select tracks that people missed the first time around. Once again I am making no promises that I will repost the tracks you want, but if you ask it may come back. But don’t expect anything like this again. I don’t got the time for that bullshit.

Leave requests in the comment section for this post ONLY.

So I planned a big week of Pet Shop Boys posts but on Tuesday I got tied up with school (and by school I mean Super Smash Bros. Brawl) and yesterday my server was down so I couldn’t upload anything so instead of updating I went back to my…schoolwork for a few more hours. Now everything is fine and I’m done studying (my thumbs hurt) so I figured I’d just say fuck it to the slow burn and put them all up at once, enjoy. These are all tracks from my various 12” singles. Most of the B-sides are also available on the group’s B-side collection Alternative. If you ever see that 2-disc set pick it up, it’s probably the best B-side compilation you’ll ever buy.

Quick little addendum. I was rocking out to my extended mix of “Flashlight” the other day when I realized that I could dance the night away to a George Clinton song like that one and not one person would question my manliness. However, if I decided to rock out to some “West End Girls” or “DJ Culture” I’d get weird looks and stares (and I’m sure it would have nothing to do with the fact that I am a 6’6” geek that can’t dance). This is totally not fair. I bet if Snoop Dogg sampled some “How Can You Expect To Be Taken Seriously” then this would never happen.

Absolutely Fabulous 7” Mix
Absolutely Fabulous (Dull Soulless Dance Music Mix)
Absolutely Fabulous (Our Tribe Toungue-In-Cheek Mix)
Absolutely Fabulous (Absolutely Dubulous)

How Can You Expect To Be Taken Seriously? (12” Mix)
How Can You Expect To Be Taken Seriously? (Classical Reprise)
How Can You Expect To Be Taken Seriously? (7” Perfect Attitude Mix)
Being Boring (Marshall Jefferson 12” Mix)
We All Feel Better In The Dark

DJ Culture (Extended Mix)
Music For Boys (Part 2)

It’s A Sin (Disco Mix)
You Know Where You Went Wrong
So Hard (Extended Dance Mix)
It Must Be Obvious

West End Girls (Extended Dance Version)
A Man Could Get Arrested

So I’ve spent most of today huddled in my house hiding from all that snow that’s outside. Before Pittsburgh got hit with a fustercluck of winter weather suckness I did manage to crawl out of my hole and head down to Jerry’s Records. Those of you in the Pittsburgh area should check out his store this month, he’s having a huge 12” single sale. 4 singles for 10 bucks. You can’t beat that shit.

Also, inside the massive complex that is Jerry’s Records a new store has opened called 720 Records. They cater more to the DJ crowd and sell new vinyl as well as older singles in the hip-hop, dance and house genres. Their stuff is a little on the pricey side but otherwise very good.

I haven’t left my house since returning from that excursion into the real world so I’ve had a pretty boring night in front of the computer. How boring? I ended up Googling this blog looking for what people have said about me. I found this comment from Idolator’s comment board pretty funny:

Lost Turntable… that guy just seems to post some of the weirdest 12″ mixes, he just puts up a serious global mind-fuck of tracks I have never heard of, odd remixes and then goes on occasional theme posts. All I know is, it’s fun to see him posting not only Madonna remixes, but then going on some Ghetto Boy’s tangent.

Searching through all those sites that mention me led me to some pretty good blogs, so astute readers might notice that I’ve updated the links section (look to your right). If anyone has any suggestions for more I should add shoot me an email. I try to focus on remix or vinyl-centric blogs for the most part. I don’t like linking to blogs that feature zips or rar files of easily obtainable albums.

I also added some non-MP3 links to the side, including my Last.fm page and the music page at Bullz-eye.com, which is where I contribute CD reviews and such. Idolator and Best Week Ever are pretty big sites so I don’t think I have to mention what they are. Sleeve Face is my new favorite stupid obsession, everyone should check that out. And if you like online radio then you need to listen to WOXY, and I’m not just saying that because their Music Director put a link to my site on his bio page.

Berlin
With A Touch (Rafe’s Tribal House Remix)
With A Touch (Giorgio Moroder Mix)
With A Touch (JohnO TekHousePop Remix)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (until the restraining order is placed), I have an unhealthy crush on Terri Nunn. I want to marry her and we’ll live synthpop ever after. These tracks are off a 12” single.

My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
Sex On Wheelz (Motor City Remix)
Sex On Wheelz (Glamour Dyke Remix)
Sex On Wheelz (Freak Street Remix)
Farout 1
When trying to find something interesting about these guys I stumpled upon this little gem from Wikipedia:

The “Sexplosion!” tour in 1991 achieved a particularly notorious reputation. In addition to being interestingly staged, featuring an actual bar and bartender onstage with the band, the show also featured a male/female duo known as Ten and Avaluscious White, who appeared onstage dressed in a number of different guises. At one point, Ten was dressed as Jesus strapped to a cross and featuring a large black dildo between his legs, while Avaluscious White simulated oral sex on him. This created controversy and protest in a number of American locations, adding to the band’s notoriety.

Anyone got a tape of that?
New Order
Crystal (Remix)
Sub-Culture (Remix)
Dub-Vulture
This is latter-day New Order so while these tunes aren’tas good or memborable as say “Bizarre Love Triangle” or “Blue Monday” they’re still great dance tracks. With this post I’ve now completely exhausted my supply of New Order remixes. Hopefully I’ll find more and this problem will not be a long term one.

Okay, so I a couple of several announcements to make.

First of all, since I have the patience of a tweaked-out meth head downing pixie stix, I went ahead and bought the Ion USB turntable mostly because it was the best one I could find locally. I’m generally pleased with it, but it does have some issues:

First of all, the USB support is ass. The computer geek in me should have known this going in. You cannot just plug the turntable’s USB cable into your computer and expect everything to work. While a direct USB connection will allow you to record your LPs with relative ease (i.e. no external soundcard) – listening to records this way is nearly impossible. For some reasons you need some special software (Audacity – which I fucking HATE) and then still you can only listen to the songs if you’re recording them at the same time. And the playback sounds like shit if you do it. So after all of the hassle I ended up just hooking it up through my external soundcard like my Numark was.

After all that though I must say that I am impressed by it. It can play over more scratches than my previous turntables, and I like the pause/play function it has. It’s very sensitive, so it does pick up dust a little more often than my other turntables, but it also delivers a richer, more dynamic sound so it’s a pretty good trade-off.

I like this turntable, but I don’t think I would recommend it to anyone out there, because the USB functionality is pretty useless. Since I already had the equipment needed to hook up the turntable to my computer sans USB cable that really wasn’t an issue for me, but if you don’t you’ll be really bummed out when you try to plug and play this sucker.

Okay, onto some other news (don’t worry the MP3s are coming). I bought the new NIN album Ghosts I-IV this week and I have to say that I’m really digging it. In case you haven’t heard Trent released this collection of 36 instrumentals this week via his website for the low low cost of $5. That’s just for the download, a physical copy costs more. It’s a five bucks well spent for industrial fans, and great background music for when you’re studying, reading, cutting yourself etc.

Okay, now let’s get to the tunes.

Madonna
Don’t Tell Me (Tino Maas Mix)
Don’t Tell Me (Vission Remix)
Don’t Tell Me (Thunderpuss’ 2001 Hands In The Air Anthem)
Don’t Tell Me (Tracy Young Club Mix)
Don’t Tell Me (Victor Calderone Sensory Mix)
I did not know this was a cover tune until I looked it up online. Turns out it was written by Madonna’s brother-in-law Joe Henry, who is a semi-successful country artist in his own right. I guess that explains the country vibe in the video and in the original version of the song. These remixes have about as much country in them as a Duran Duran track.

Duran Duran
(Reach Up For The) Sunrise (Jason Nevins Club Mix)
(Reach Up For The) Sunrise (Ferry Corsten Dub Mix)
(Reach Up For The) Sunrise (Peter Presta Apple Jaxx Mix)
(Reach Up For The) Sunrise (Peter Presta NY Tribal Mix)
Well, speak of the pop devil, it’s Duran Duran. So one time I was at this release party in Pittsburgh for a comic book anthology. The event was also a showcase for a few local bands, including one that featured a member of the local insanity-fest Grand Buffett. This band ended up being Tehran Iran, a punk rock Duran Duran cover band that performed dressed as Arab sheiks. They never broke character throughout their entire show and closed the gig by going into Flock Of Seagulls territory with a cover of “I Ran” (get it!?!?) Totally awesome. And I tell that story because I really have nothing to say about Duran Duran and these good-but-not-great remixes from a 12” single.

Organ Donors
4 Tribes (Wanna Be Startin’ Something) (Clive King Remix)
4 Tribes (Wanna Be Startin’ Something) (Original Mix)
4 Tribes (Wanna Be Startin’ Something) (Supreme Dream Team Remix)
First of all that’s a great name for a band….if they played the organ. This is really some DJ (or DJs, I can never tell) so the name is kind of a let down. These are remixes of a song that is in itself a highly tweaked remix of Michael Jackson’s “Wanna Be Startin’ Something.” Quality listening material if for the extended “mamma-say mamma…whatever” chants and nothing else.
The first mix is a little scratchy but as it picks up you can barely hear them.

Anyone have an Ion USB Turntable? My Numark is mucking up lately and I’m thinking about buying one…comments?

I’m mostly over the flu now. Still feels like a mucus-heavy slug is trying to ooze its way out of my nasal cavity (how’s that for a mental picture?) but other than that I’m feeling quite lovely – and when I’m not that’s why I have Sudafed and Nyquil.

This past weekend I traveled to the Mad Max Wasteland that is Detroit to see The Foo Fighters. I’ve seen the Foos once before and while they impressed me then they totally floored my ass this time. Dave Grohl’s stage presence and commitment to entertaining his audience is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. He reminds me of Jason Lee in Almost Famous when yells “I work just as hard or harder than anybody on that stage. You know what I do? I connect. I get people off. I look for the guy who isn’t getting off, and I make him get off!”

Dave Grohl should have business cards made that say: “Dave Grohl: Gets People Off”.

That mother runs around the stage like a psycho on meth, screams at the top of his lungs and delivers guitar solos that melt faces. He makes sure that everyone seeing him leaves the arena higher than any drug could make them.

Unfortunately he made us all high as a kite right when we had to drive right into Detroit traffic which was made even worse by massive lane closures. So he basically gave us a bunch of sugar and told us to wait in line.

It was a very long trip home.

Crowded House
World Where You Live (Extended Version)
My favortie Crowded House song. It’s a beautiful song, but is it just me or he really just saying “That’s guy’s a douchebag” in a really creative way for four minutes? This extended version is only about a minute longer than the regular one and I grabbed it off of the 12” single.

The Clash
Do It Now
Sex Mad Roar
Everyone hates Cut The Crap but…well, nevermind I can’t figure out a way to end that sentence. It’s a pretty shitty album all around. However the single “This Is London” was actually pretty good and these b-sides to it aren’t bad either. These songs are also available on that massive singles box sex The Clash put out a year or two ago.

Ultravox
Love’s Great Adventure (Extended Version)
White China (Live)
This is latter-day “oh my god aren’t synthesizers awesome?” Ultravox, not early-on “let’s be avant-garde as a motherfucker” Ultravox. Your enjoyment of these B-sides will probably be dependent on your tolerance of “Vienna.”

OMD
So In Love (American Dance Remix)
I wanted to read up on OMD at Allmusic but it took me a bit because I had to search for “Orchestral Maneuvers In The Dark” and not OMD and since I can’t spell for shit it took a bit. This is off a 12” single that was fucked up so instead of having various mixes of this tune (like the label said) it really just had this track on it three times over. Very annoying.

I have the flu right now so chalk up any typos and mistakes found in today’s post to too much Nyquil and cough drops. Still, I’m not going to let a little crap fever stop me from rocking out and sharing my rocking out with all of you. This post is all Gary Numan-related because…um…I wanted it to be.

I got to interview Gary Numan once. Even though it was just over email it was very cool and definitely served as the highlight of my journalism career at the time. Unfortunately, the interview was for a magazine that went shit up right after I finished the assignment, so it was never printed. I was pissed. This year a very similar thing happened when I scored a phone roundtable interview with David Gilmour from Pink Floyd, but that’s a long story and I already feel like shit enough as it is. Here are some rare Numan-related tunes I picked up last month.

Gary Numan
We Take Mystery (To Bed) (Extended Version)
We Take Mystery (To Bed) (Early Version)
The Image Is
We Take Mystery (To Bed) was a single off of Numan’s 1982 album I, Assassin, and album which in my opinion was his last quality release until he reinvented himself with 1994’s industrial Sacrifice. If you get a chance to pick up I, Assassin I recommend it, in addition to this wonderfully bizarre song (what does “We take mystery to bed” mean? It sounds like the worst/best pick-up line ever) it also has one of my favorite Numan tracks “White Boys And Heroes.” These versions of “We Take Mystery…” and the third song were all taken off of the 12” single.

Sharpe And Numan
Change Your Mind (12” Single)
Fools In A World Of Fire
Remix, Remake, Remodel
I’m On Automatic (12” Remix)
Love Like A Ghost
Voices (’89 Remix)
I wish I had a scanner so I could so you the awesome get-up that Numan is rocking on the cover of “Change Your Mind.” He’s all decked out in white formal wear and make-up, with blue lipstick and eyeliner accenting his paleness. It’s like if Marilyn Manson was forced to grab some formal wear for a wedding on short notice.

Anyways, the Sharpe of Sharpe and Numan is a dude by the name of Bill Sharpe. He was in a band called Shakatak, a group I had never heard of until buying this single and researching him online. Shakatak (aside from sounding like some bizarre never-before-released 8-bit game featuring Shaq) was an early 80s jazz-funk band – which makes his teaming up with Numan even more bizarre and seemingly without reason.

Numan doesn’t sing on “Fools In a World On Fire” or “Remix, Remake, Remodel” and he doesn’t have a songwriting credit on them either, so their inclusion on the single is a little confusing. I’m not going to claim that all of these songs are particually good, but those interesting in Numan may find them pretty interesting (as will the four Shakatak fans who find this page via Google).

Hohokam
Harlequin Tears (12” Version)
Harlequin Tears (Single Edit)
To Sleep
Hohokam was one of the band’s on Numan’s short-lived label Numa Records. I know very little about the band and I’m too tired to research, find out yourself if you wanna!

I got Mass Effect for the Xbox 360 yesterday and that game is chocolate-covered crack dipped in heroin. The main reason for this post tonight is so I have an excuse to put the damn controller down and do something else. I close my eyes and all I see is that damn galactic map.

Must…find…Saren….

Frankie Goes To Hollywood
The World Is My Oyster (12″ mix)
Welcome to the Pleasuredome (Pleasure Fix)
The Only Star In Heaven (Star Fix)
The Power of Love (Extended Version)
Relax (US Mix)
Relax (Move)
Relax (From Soft To Hard)
It’s amazing that I’ve gone this long without posting what is probably one of the most infamous tracks of the 80s, “Relax.” The best song about (not) getting off ever written, it’s also one of the most famously controversial, in the UK that is. Us dumb bastards in America never seemed to realize what it was actually about.

Anyways, researching the different versions of “Relax” is a huge pain in the ass. Not only did ZZT (the band’s label) release countless different singles of the song, they also renamed many of the remixes when they did! The names I gave those three remixes are the original names for them, they are also known as “The Long Version” “The 7” Version” and “The Instrumental”, respectively. I included these names in the “other” field in the ID3 tags. For the other songs I also included th catalog numbers of the albums I got them from, to help stop confusion caused by the clusterfuck of singles out there.

I can’t find out much about “The World Is My Oyster”. My copy of Welcome To The Pleasuredome” is buried somewhere in my room and I’m not going to try and dig it out now. I do recall it only being a minute or so long on that album and not including the “Gonna jack you up/gonna jack you off!” line, but I could be wrong – it’s been a very very long time since I’ve listened to that album.

Anyways, I don’t think any of the versions of these songs that I’ve posted tonight are actually on Welcome To The Pleasuredome, but I could be wrong. If anyone can add light to the situation please let me know.

Book Of Love
I Touch Roses (Long-Stemmed Version)
On a completely unrelated note, this song kind of creeps me out. The chick keeps moaning “You can’t touch my roses.” That’s icky right? It’s not just me? This remix is on the CD re-issue of their debut album, but I got it from a 12” single.