Fuckers from Hair are on Conan right now dancing in the audience. Hey guys, 1967 called, the 60s are over, take your hippie dippie bullshit and cram it.
God I hate that damned musical…
Anyways, here are the remaining Michael Jackson remixes I promised. This Is It. No more…unless I somehow find more 12” singles.
Billie Jean (Dirty Funker’s “This Is Not It” Remix)
Billie Jean (This Dirty Dub Remix)
These were from a bootleg 12” single, by a guy calling himself the Dirty Funker. It’s a red record and the artwork on the label cribs art from the planned This Is It series of concerts (the beginning of this mix even samples the press conference announcing the This Is It shows). They’re kind of pointless, but the techno bass-heavy beats aren’t too bad.
Smooth Criminal (Extended Dance Mix)
Smooth Criminal (Extended Dance Mix Radio Edit)
Smooth Criminal (Annie Mix)
Smooth Criminal (Dub Mix)
Smooth Criminal (A Capella)
I think I mentioned before that “Smooth Criminal” is one of my favorite Michael Jackson songs. I was going to declare it my favorite of all time, but it’ll have to tie with Beat It, Billie Jean, PYT, Dirty Diana, Leave me Alone, Give In To Me, Jam, Scream, Morphine (check it out, it’s a pretty rad tune that you probably haven’t heard), Earth Song, and They Don’t Really Care About Us (you try to pick a favorite Michael Jackson song, it’s not easy!)
However, “Smooth Criminal” is without a doubt my favorite Michael Jackson video. But make sure you watch the best version. The most complete version of the Smooth Criminal video is part of the movie Moonwalker, which is not available in America. Luckily there’s YouTube. The version that most people know is this one, which is just a hair shorter than the Moonwalker cut, taking out some of the crazy-ass moaning interpretive dance that’s in the middle. Above everything avoid this version, which is a poorly edited, sped-up version. I’m not the only person who thinks Smooth Criminal is Michael’s magnum video opus, check out this hysterical review of the Moonwalker movie by That Guy With Glasses, one of my favorite pop culture critics on the web.
I previously posted the extended mix, but this one is a direct rip from the vinyl single I picked up, as are the additional remixes.
Who Is It (Patience Mix)
Who Is It (The Most Patient Mix)
Who Is It (IHS Mix)
Who Is It (P-Man Dub)
Who Is It (Brothers In Rhythm House Mix)
Who Is It (Tribal Version)
Who Is It (Brothers Cool Dub)
Who Is It (Lakeside Dub)
This isn’t one of my favorite Michael Jackson tunes, and is probably my second-least favorite song off of Dangerous (the first is In The Closet – I actively hate that song). However, some of these remixes are quite good. My favorite is the Brothers In Rhythm House Mix, which transforms the song into an ultra-corny 90s house track. Moby would love it.
Beat It (Moby’s Sub Mix)
Well speak of the bald devil! This is an odd one. This originally appeared as the B-side to the American version of the Who Is It single, but it later popped up on the soundtrack to Zoolander for some strange reason. With many of the Dangerous singles it seemed that MJ was taking his back catalog and giving some prominent electronic artists of the time a go. Moby got “Beat It,” the Brothers in Rhythm got “Wanna Be Startin’ Something” and Masters at Work got to mix “Rock With You.” I haven’t heard any of these mixes aside from this Moby one, so if anyone wants to post a link to some in the comments section I would be most appreciative.
I think I’m the only person in the world who likes this remix of Beat It. It’s definitely odd and not for everyone, but give it a chance, Moby deconstructs the shit out it, shifting the guitar solo to the front, chopping up the synth opening of the original and making the verses very sparse, cutting out everything but a simple beat and Micheal’s voice.