Archive for February, 2009

Now that I’m out of my Terrible Twos I might stop saying Fuck so much.

Tuesday, February 24th, 2009

This March marks the third anniversary (holy shit!) of The Lost Turntable, which is MP3 blog years is like 84 since they seem to pop up and vanish so quick. Fucking hipster pricks don’t know how to commit to shit. Anyways, longtime readers may know that I celebrate this by temporally lifting my self-imposed ban on reposting previously featured tracks. So if there is anything I have ever posted that you want to hear again, now is you chance. In the comment section of this post (AND THIS POST ONLY) request what you want put back up here. This is a limited time offer and just because you ask for it doesn’t mean that I’m going to give it to you (I’m not that easy) but the odds are pretty good. Have fun scouring my archives of profanity and random pop music.

Big Audio Dynamite
The Bottom Line
Bad
“The Bottom Line” was the first single by Big Audio Dynamite and is on their first album, but this remix (which is unlabeled as such on the 12” single) is epically longer than the version that’s on the band’s first album. This version of “Bad” is also longer than the album one, but not epically so (more like a just a minute or so). “The Bottom Line” is a great song and while “Bad” isn’t as bad as it’s title suggests, it isn’t all that either.

Ministry
N.W.O. (Extended Dance Mix)
It always makes me laugh when I think about the fact that for all the grandstanding, scary imagery and heavy metal influences, Ministry is still at heart a dance band. I’ve ranted and raved about Al and his band of not-so-merry madmen many times over, and I think I got nothing else to say about them. This remix is from a 12” single.

Utah Saints
Trans-Europe Excess
What Can You Do For Me (Salt Lake Mix)
The Utah Saints were neither from Utah or saints, discuss. I’ve always find that odd (the Utah part, I wasn’t exactly surprised that they weren’t saints. ) It seemed like such an odd place for a couple of pothead ravers from England to pick, and calling this remix the “Salk Lake Mix” takes their fetishization for the land that Mormon delusion built and takes it a strange and scary place. Maybe they were on the salt flats for those ten or so years between their first and second records? These are from a 12” single.

Electronic
Disappointed (Electronic Mix)
Disappointed (808 Mix)
Gangster (FBI Mix)
Getting Away With It (Extended Mix)
For those of you new in the game, Electronic was(is?) a collaboration between Bernard Sumner of New Order and Johnny Marr of, well, about a million different bands, with added assistance by Neil Tennant of Pet Shop Boys and even a little bit of help from Karl Bartos of Kraftwerk. And with a line up like that you know that the output was…severely underwhelming. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Electronic (even if the band name is fucking retarded) but with that talent they should have released the greatest most-synthtacular dance album ever. These remixes are from two different 12” single and the 808 remix is by 808 State, and it is fucking tight as shit.

Posted in B-sides, Big Audio Dynamite, Ministry, remixes, Utah Saints | 23 Comments »

My Ulysseses (Ulyssi?) and other remixes by moderately hip bands

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

With less than 30 records in my to-be-recorded queue, my computer area is reaching a level of non-clutter that it has not seen in years. If I somehow manage to become totally caught up in my record recording I’m kind of scared as to what might happen. It could be crazy, dogs and cats living together mass hysteria. Or maybe I’ll just finally find that copy of the Metropolis soundtrack again, who knows.

Franz Ferdinand
Ulysses (Beyond The Wizard’s Sleeve Remix)
Ulysses (Mr. Dan Remix)
Ulysses (Mickey Moonlight Remix)
Ulysses (Disco Bloodbath Remix)
I’m seeing these guys next month in a small club outside of Detroit, somehow that show hasn’t sold out yet, proving that not only does Detroit suck, but the people who live there suck because they have shitty taste in music. I am beyond stoked for this show, as Franz Ferdinand is one of the only bands I love that I haven’t managed to see yet. Stupid Scots and their lack of US touring. These remixes are from a special 12” single that can with the record when you bought it at certain indie stores. Shop independent motherfuckers.

Ian Dury & The Blockheads
Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick ’91 (The Flying Remix)
Really Glad You Came (Love Version)
Inspiration (Love Version)
“Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick” is the greatest song ever written. There I said it. Now that I got that off my chest I should say that “Really Glad You Came” and “Inspiration” aren’t half bad either and that all three of these excellent Ian Dury tunes came from 12” singles.

Against Me!
From Her Lips To God’s Ears (Energize-O-Tron) Remix by Adrock
Of all the bands I expected to find a 12” dance remix of Against Me! was pretty fucking low on the list, right next to…oh let’s say Dead Kennedys and Bebop Deluxe (how’s that for random?). Their “fans” are always going off on how the band keeps selling out, and a dance remix of a song about Condoleezza Rice probably didn’t help to prove the detractors wrong. But you know what? Fuck those assholes who think that the second a punk rock group signs to a major label they’ve “sold out.” What’s so damn wrong about wanting your music to be heard? Here’s a little tip for you all, whenever some twatty little shit is whining about their favorite band “selling out” 9 times out of 10 they’re just upset that the band in question isn’t still living up to their own fucked up little ideals, or they’re pissy because the band that they always considered as “their own” is now popular. Sellig out is when a band compromises their own ideals to sell records, changing their sound, personal beliefs or even their line-up just to make it big. Who’s done this? Well, Aerosmith is always a good example to bring up, as are Metallica, Yes, Weezer and the greatest example of all; Liz Phair. Against Me! never rallied against decent distribution or quality production values (something their early records sure as hell don’t have) so the fact that they signed to Sire and hired a real producer to record their shit doesn’t make them sell-outs. Another thing that bugs me about people using the term “sell out” is that they always apply it to bands that have never even come close to selling out, and only label an artist as a sell out because they don’t like them to begin with. I always hate it when people bring up bands like Nickleback, Fall Out Boy and Panic At The Disco when tallking about “sell outs.” Bands like those have no illusions about who they are or what they are doing, they’re in it to be as popular as possible and make a shitload of money from the day they decided to create a pop-friendly version of whatever genre they are in. It’s not selling out if that’s what you wanted to accomplish in the first place.

So the next time you say a band has “sold out” try to keep this shit in mind. (Cue “The more you know” music).

Posted in Against Me, Franz Ferdinand, Ian Dury, remixes | 3 Comments »

If I Ever Get Out Of This Remix

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

I have a cat now. And because of the little furry bastard I’m pretty tired, so let’s just get right to it.

Twin Freaks
My respect for Paul McCartney has grown tremendously in the past few months. First I discovered Fireman, the electronic/alternative rock collaborative project between Youth from Killing Joke and McCartney, and now this. Twin Freaks is a remix collection by McCartney and Freelance Hellraiser, who you may know from his legendary 2002 bootleg mash-up “A Stroke Of Genius.” Apparently he went on tour with McCartney in 2004, and that led to this collection of McCartney remixes and mash-ups. How does that even happen? An online remixer gets contacted by a Beatle and the next thing you know they’re collaborating together? That would be like Conan O’Brien reading my semi-misogynist rant against Fergie and getting me a job at The Tonight Show.

Anyways, The Twin Freaks album appears to have been a one-off, and in more ways that one. EMI released the album as a 2-LP vinyl release only, and it only got one printing. Needless to say it’s pretty hard to find and out-of-print, so of course I found it in a record store in Toledo. The world is weird man.

But back to the record, all of these songs are either Paul McCartney tunes or tracks that appeared on Wings albums (with one exception) so if you’re expecting a remix of “Hard Day’s Night” or “Helter Skelter” you’re going to be let down. Still, this is a very interesting record that deserves a wider release. Some of these tracks are pretty obscure though, so here’s a track-by-track rundown of where these songs are from. If you want more information about what other tracks are mashed into this then go to this site.

Really Love You
Originally on Flaming Pie.

Long Haired Lady (Reprise)
“Long Haired Lady” (without the reprise) was on Ram.

Rinse The Raindrops
Originally on Driving Rain

Darkroom
The first of many songs on this record that was originally on McCartney II, not a surprise since that record itself is pretty heavy on the electronics.

Live And Let Die
You know this one.

Temporary Secretary
Another track from McCartney II.

What’s That You’re Doing
From Tug Of War, thank God they chose this and not Ebony and Ivory.

Oh Woman, Oh Why
A 1971 non-album b-side that is also on the deluxe version of Ram.

Mumbo
From Wild Life, the first Wings album.

Lalula
I think this is an original creation made from several other songs.

Coming Up
Another from McCartney II. You might not recognize the name of this tune but trust me you’ve heard it.

Maybe I’m Amazed
Okay, if you don’t know this song then there’s no helping you. This is truly saving the best for last, an amazing remix of a legendary song.

Posted in Complete Albums, Freelance Hellraiser, Paul McCartney | No Comments »

This is a Performance-Enhancing Blog

Wednesday, February 11th, 2009

Okay, this is important so pay attention. Live Nation and Ticketmaster want to merge. This is very bad news. Very bad indeed. Fuck it. Fuck it hard.

Harsh language? Maybe, but it’s appropriate. Live Nation and Ticketmaster fuck you already every time you’re forced to buy tickets through their outdated, over-priced and illegal business practices. Charges that make no sense, horrid customer service, unreliable websites and their own form of legalized scalping that holds the best tickets strictly to “resell” them at fuckingly absurd prices are all ruining live music. Fuck the customer, fuck the economy, fuck the future, they both want to make money now with no disregard to the long-term damages that it will cause. If you want to learn more about how Ticketmaster is evil and deserves to be raped in the fires of hell for all eternity read this amazing article by The Consumerist.

Since we are just people and people have no power in America there isn’t much we can do to stop this. But that doesn’t mean we can’t try. You need to get pissed off. Tell people about this, get them pissed off. Write to the FCC, your Congressman, whoever you can. Fuck this shit before it gets too far.

If that doesn’t work, visit Live Nation and Ticketmaster headquarters and start what I like to call Plan B.

Now let’s dance to 25 Pet Shop Boys songs.

Pet Shop Boys
Before (D.T.’s After Mix)
Before (Tenaglia’s Bonus Beats)
Before (Classic Paradise Mix – Love To Infinity)
Before (Tenaglia’s Bonus Dub)
Being Boring (Remix)
We All Feel Better In The Dark (After Hours Climax)
We All Feel Better In The Dark (Ambient)
DJ Culturemix
Music For Boys (Part 3)
Overture to Performance
Heart (Disco Mix)
Heart (Dance Mix)
I Don’t Know What You Want But I Can’t Give It Any More (The Morales Remix)
I Don’t Know What You Want But I Can’t Give It Any More (Dub Mix)
I Don’t Know What You Want But I Can’t Give It Any More (Thee Maddkatt Courtship 80 Witness Mix)
I Don’t Know What You Want But I Can’t Give It Any More (Thee Drum Drum Mix)
I Don’t Know What You Want But I Can’t Give It Any More (Thee 2 Blak Ninja Mix)
I Wouldn’t Normally Do This Kind Of Thing (Extended Nude Mix)
I Wouldn’t Normally Do This Kind Of Thing (Club Mix)
I Wouldn’t Normally Do This Kind Of Thing (Grand Ballroom Dub)
It’s Alright (Extended Version)
Love Comes Quickly (Shep Pettibone Mastermix)
Love Comes Quickly (Dub)
Love Comes Quickly (Stephen Hague Dance Mix)
That’s My Impression (Disco Mix)
So I was going to spread these out over the week. Five here, five there, maybe mix up some other stuff, keep it fresh and diverse. But I have to go out of town tomorrow so “fuck it” – here are 25 Pet Shop Boys remixes, B-sides and such. These are all from various 12” singles that I bought last month in a massive buying orgy of fabulous pop music. I have mental problems that manifest themselves in horribly upbeat dance music. Peace out till next week.

Posted in B-sides, Pet Shop Boys, remixes | 8 Comments »

The itty-bitty Random Post

Monday, February 9th, 2009

I have updated last week’s Urgh! post, adding the tracks from the VHS tape that were not on the vinyl soundtrack. Since this album is out of print, I will never be removing the links to these files, that being said, my disclaimer about not hotlinking go double. Don’t make me hurt you.

Onto other business, I spent many-a-hour working on the Urgh! stuff tonight, so just a mini-post for now. Hopefully I have some more stuff tomorrow or the day after.

The Bleep
Fuck Me (Technacid manchester Mix)
Fuck me (Mr. Dump On Extasy Mix)
Eurohouse trash with an equally trashy name as a lame effort to get people to buy it. I can’t knock the marketing gimmick too much though, since I kind of fell for when I picked this 12” up a few weeks ago. The song isn’t bad, but it really doesn’t live up to the title. According to what I could dig up, The Bleep was German, they should stick to the disturbing industrial stuff and emotionless electro and leave the dirty stuff to the Belgiums, they’re much better at it. By the way, that’s their retarded spelling/typo of “ecstasy” not mine.

Sparks
So Important (Extremely Important Mix)
So Important (Incredibly Important Mix)
How does a band last for nearly 40 years and release over 20 albums without scoring one hit single or record? Do these guys just invest incredibly well? Are they independently wealthy? What the hell? I’m not really complaining, I love Sparks and all their fucked up insanity, but I’m always amazed at their ability to keep going in spite of everything telling them that they should have given it up long ago. These very urgent-sounding remixes by the resilient eclectics are from a 12” single.

Posted in remixes, Sparks, The Bleep | 1 Comment »

The End-All Urgh! (A Work In Progress)

Friday, February 6th, 2009

First things first – RIP Lux Interior…

Now, onto the business, and this business was much, much delayed. In April of 2006 I put up the soundtrack Urgh! to much fanfare around the blogosphere (God I hate that “word”) so much so that I had to get a server upgrade. Unfortunately, as it was pointed out to me several months ago those files were recorded on a turntable that spun too fucking fast. Since then I had been meaning to re-record the tracks and repost them, but life can be a bitch.

Well, I was finally motivated to get off my ass and fix my mistake (for reasons that I will get into momentarily) and now I present to you the newly re-recorded version of Urgh! A Music War – The Album, now at the correct speed and with added hiss and click removal!

UPDATE: This post is obsolete! Go here instead!

Side 1
The Police – Driven To Tears
Wall Of Voodoo – Back In Flesh
Toyah Wilcox – Dance
Orchestral Manoeuvers In The Dark – Enola Gay
Oingo Boingo – Ain’t This The Life
XTC – Respectable Street

Side 2
The Members – Offshore Banking Business
Go-Go’s – We Got The Beat
Total Eclipse – Klaus Nomi
Athletico Spizz ’80 – Where’s Captain Kirk
Alley Cats – Nothing Means Nothing Anymore
Jools Holland – Foolish I Know
Steel Pulse – Klu Klux Klan

Side 3
Devo – Uncontrollable Urge
Echo And The Bunnymen – The Puppet
The Au Pairs – Come Again
The Cramps – Tear It Up
Joan Jett & The Blackheats – Bad Reputation
Pere Ubu – Birdies
Gary Numan – Down In The Park

Side 4
Fleshtones – Shadow Line
Gang Of Four – He’d Send In The Army
John Otway – Cheryl’s Going Home
999 – Homicide
X – Beyond And Back
Magazine – Model Worker
Skafish – Sign Of The Cross

 

As many of you may know, the original soundtrack to Urgh! didn’t have everything on it that was on the movie. I originally had some of those tracks on here, ripped from a copy of the movie I rented at my local video store. I was never happy with the quality of those recordings either, so I am going to re-record them as well. Now, I’m sure you’re thinking, “what video store still has a copy of Urgh!?” Well, sadly the answer is “none” because the awesome Head’s Together video store is going out of business at the end of the month and they are liquidating their amazing inventory of classic, cult and just plain bizarre movies. I’ve already bought a ton of great shit, from the strange 80s slasher flick The Burning to Style Wars and a VHS copy of The Punk Rock Movie.

Oh, and I also bought Urgh!

Boo-ya.

I’m in the process of getting my VCR hooked up to my computer and running correctly, but once I do I’m going to do what I can to not only have the audio tracks from the VHS online, but the whole goddamn movie.

You’re welcome.

02/09 Update:
Finished recording the VHS tape. Here are the tracks that are in the movie but not on the soundtrack.

URGH! VHS Tracks
John Cooper Clarke – Health Fanatic
Chelsea – I’m On Fire
Dead Kennedys – Bleed For Me
Surf Punks – My Beach
Invisible Sex – Valium
Splodgenessabounds – Two Little Boys
UB40 – Madame Medua
The Police – Roxanne
The Police – So Lonely
Klaus Nomi – Aria from Samson and Delilah (End Credits Music)

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Three Hot Chicks And David Byrne

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

Talk about highs and lows. On Thursday I had to drive from Pittsburgh to Toledo in a shitstorm of snow, then a similar storm hit my stomach, leaving me stuck in Toledo the whole weekend with a virulent stomach virus. On Sunday I felt human enough to crawl into my car and drive back home, making it back just in time for the Super Bowl. The Steelers won (YAY!) but I was still so sick that I couldn’t even go out into the streets and riot like everyone else. No fair. I’m still kind of meh right now, so not much in witty banter tonight, hopefully I’ll be back to my usually dickery and foul-mouthed self soon. I got something very special planned that I’ll hopefully have done in a few days.

Bjork
Hyper-Ballad (David Morales Classic Mix)
Hyper-Ballad (Tee Freeze Mix)
Hyper-Ballad (Disco Synth Mix)
Hyper-Ballad (Subtle Abuse Mix)
It’s In Our Hands (SPT Mix)
It’s In Our Hands (Arcade Mix)
These are both from 12” singles. The latter two remixes of “Hyper-Ballad” are a little scratchy at parts.

Dido
Stoned (Paul Jackson Remix)
Stoned (Deep Dish Stoner Dub)
Stoned (Spiritchaser Remix)
Dido sounds like dildo, hehe. These are from a 12” promo single.

Garbage
Stupid Girl (Ultimix Remix)
From another one of those Ultimix DJ singles. Not that different than the original version.

David Byrne
Big Business (Dance Mix)
Okay, while I’m tired and I didn’t have much to say about the other artists let me leave you with this little tidbit. Everyone knows the rumor about Shirly Manson and her thing for golden showers, right? (Well, now you do.) Anyways, I read somewhere once that David Byrne likes doing something similar that is way too gross for me to even elude to. Think about that while listening to this dance mix that I got from an EP called Three Big Songs.

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments »