Archive for February, 2011

Never Rub Another Man’s Aphex Twin Song Title

Monday, February 28th, 2011

For the second year in a row I avoided the Oscars. The bullshit nature of award shows depresses me.

So what did I watch instead?

Dancer In the Dark.

Shit.

Seriously. SHIT. I had never seen that movie before. And while yes, it is beautiful and incredibly moving, it’s also probably the most depressing film I have ever seen.

I had to watch the “Dance Magic Dance” scene in Labyrinth three times just to foster enough positive vibes to get me out of my chair. I knew I didn’t see it when it came out for a reason. Yikes. I need to go look at some LOLcats or something before I go to bed. But until then, stupid dance music!

The Shamen
LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Ed Richards 12″ Mix)
LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Beatmasters 12″ Mix)

LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Shamen Alternative Vocal)
LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Frank De Wulf Dub Rave)
LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Shamen Deep Dub)
LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Well Hung Parliament Dub)
Spoiler! This song is about me.

ZING.

More by The Shamen, I know you’re all horribly surprised. I got one more of these in me, then I will have exhausted my entire supply of The Shamen. At least until I buy more.

Humate
Love Stimulation (Blank & Jones Remix)
Love Stimulation (Paul Van Dyk Love Club Mix)
I’m keeping it up. The love theme that is, with this excellent trance track. What this song has to do with love is a mystery, however, as it has no lyrics. It could have been called “Cheese Stimulation.”

Mmmm…cheese.

Oh, where was I? Oh yeah, these mixes are from a 12″ single. Now excuse me while I go eat some cheese.

Pop Will Eat Itself
Another Man’s Rhubarb (12″ Mix)
Another Man’s Rhubarb (7″ Mix)
Another Man’s Rhubarb (Chaotic Mix)
Leave it to PWEI to fuck my love-dovey/cheese theme all to hell. This song is…quite stupid, but in the best possible way. It starts with that very bizarre quote from the 1989 Batman movie, and then it segues into a whole “We Are the People” rant? Huh? What? Oh, Clint Mansell, you so crazy!

That’s right kids, don’t forget that Clint Mansell, Oscar-nominated film composer for films like Requiem For a Dream, The Wrestler and Moon, was the lead singer for Pop Will Eatself. That means that the man who brought us the classic theme from Requiem For A Dream also brought us “Beaver Patrol.”

Because, y’know, he’s classy.

Too Tired For a Title – The Sequel

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

Big ups to my Melbourne connection for hooking me up with the elusive Dreamcast vinyl! Dude if you ever need someone whacked, or if you just need someone to get you something off of a high shelf let me know. This giant vinyl/video game nerd is forever in your debt.

If any of my other fans ever want to pay me back for all my years of providing free, bizarre music, I would like to remind you all that I do take checks.

Seriously though, feeling generous? Go click on that link on the right for Planned Parenthood. Donate a few bucks their way. You’d be making me happy, helping low-income families get birth control, and pissing off Republicans all at the same time. Seems like a triple-win to me.

Renegade Soundwave
Thunder II
Manphibian
Mash-Up
I said before I would post more RSW if I found some. And guess what? I did. These are from a 12″ for “Thunder.”

Unrelated note, “Manphibian” totally sounds like a Roger Corman movie that never happened. Maybe a sequel to “Sssssss” (and yes kids, that the name of a real movie). If anyone could tell me what “Manphibian” samples I would appreciate it. It sounds like the song that was used to become the Sex & The City theme, or am I just sleep deprived and half death?

The Shamen
Possible Worlds (Deep Psi)
Possible Worlds (Imaginary)
Possible Worlds (Stick)
Possible Worlds (Reverse)
My Shamen clearance sale continues! These are b-sides to “Make It Mine.” I have more Shamen coming still! Probably two more posts worth. I hope someone is digging this shit, I sure am.

L.L. Cool J
Rock The Bells (Original Version)
Bittersweet Symphony vs. Rock The Bells
And for some musical diversity, its time to rock the motherfucking bells.

The original version of this track is crazy. First of all, it has actual bells. Something that is lacking from the album cut. It’s also seven minutes long, is completely lacking anything resembling a chorus, and has the fidelity of a track that I might record in my closet with an 8-track recorder and a Fischer Price microphone. Although that might have more to do with the quality of the vinyl I ripped it from, which looked like it was taken through a pack of wolverines. I cleaned the hell out of this fucker (both digitally and literally) and I think it sounds pretty good now, I hope you all agree.

Also included as a bonus is the “Bittersweet Symphony/Rock the Bells” mashup mix from the excellent game DJ Hero. I don’t know why, but this mix pumps me up like nothing else. I think it’s the whole “L.L. Cool J. is hard as HELL” bit, which is stretched out a little bit in this mix. I used to have it on my jogging mix, but it pumped me up to such a dangerous degree that I had to remove it in fear of giving myself a heart attack. Same thing happened when I used to have “Red Cape Diver” by Foxy Shazam on my workout mix. Some songs are just too motivational! I should just stick to the classics.

Orbtastic? Is that taken?

Monday, February 21st, 2011

I need this record. I need this record. I need this record.

I NEED THIS RECORD.

For those of you who don’t click on random links without knowing what they are. I am referring to a special, limited edition Dreamcast white vinyl record with songs from various Dreamcast games. It’s pretty. And apparently very hard to find. It’s a pre-order bonus in parts of Europe and Australia for the upcoming Dreamcast Collection. If any of my European or Australian readers want to make a deal, send me an email please. Seriously. I will pay money for this. I want that record.

The Shamen
Make It Mine (Manhattan Mix)
Make It Mine (Moby’s Dub Mix)
Make It Mine (Deep Mix)
Make It Mine (Club Vocal)
Make It Mine (V 2.1 Make It Minimal)
Make It Mine (V 2.4 Micro Minimal)
Make It Mine (Pro-Gress I Vox)
Make It Mine (Pro-Gress I Instrumental)
Make It Mine (V 1.1 Lenny D )

I think he wants to make it his.

Okay, I’m going to be honest; I know jackshit about The Shamen. I touched on this last week. I was bored. It was a slow week at the record store, and someone must have recently sold their entire Shamen collection. I bought the records because I noticed some of the remix artists. Now I have three hours and twenty minutes of Shamen remixes on my hard drive. Thank God they’re mostly good! That would have been embarrassing otherwise.  These remixes are from two separate Make It Minesingles. I’ll have even more Shamen later in the week hopefully.

Orbital
Chime (Extended Version)
Chime Crime
Chime (Joey Bel Tram/Program 2 Mix)
Open Mind
Open Mind (Funky Alternatives Mix)
So there’s The Orb, mostly-forgotten late-90s rock band Orbit, William Orbit, and Orbital. Am I missing anyone in the vast variances of Orb-derivative band names? All these bands started around the same time too, you think they would have gotten together and worked out it out. Did any of them ever work together? Anyone have any Orb/ital mash-up? Maybe a mix of “Blue Room” and “Halcyon + On + On? That would be dope, and probably like 80 minutes long, but whatever, I’d listen to it.

Anyways, these tracks are from a 12″ promo single I picked up last week. If you’re wondering which track is the best, the answer is all of them.

The New Gawker Layout Sucks

Thursday, February 17th, 2011

I have nothing to add to that headline up there. I just wanted to say that in big headline print.  What a fucking trainwrek. Anyone want to recommend good blogs that are similar to Jezebel, Lifehacker and Kotaku? I can barely visit those anymore. Too many stupid big pictures and horrible design elements crowding up everyhing.

How come more blogs can’t have amazing layout like mine?

That was sarcasm, by the way.

The Shamen
Destination Eschaton (Basement Boys 12″ Dub – Destination Chant)
Destination Eschaton (Basement Boys 12″ Vocal – Destination Discoton)
Destination Eschaton (Beatmasters 12″ Vocal – Destination Meccaton)
Destination Eschaton (Hardfloor 12″ Dub – Destination Komotion)
Destination Eschaton (Hardfloor 12″ Vocal – Destination Krefeldton)
Destination Eschaton (Shamen Acid – Escacid)
Destination Eschaton (Shamen Deep Melodic Techno Mix – Destination Islington)
Destination Eschaton (Sounds Of Life Vocal Mix)
Destination Eschaton (Vission Lorimer Acid Mix)
Destination Eschaton (Vission Lorimer Dome Mix)
My my, that is a lot of remixes of a song (71 minutes worth!) that I didn’t even know existed a week ago. My experience with The Shamen is pretty limited, but people whose opinions I respect dig them, so I should really check out their stuff more. I dig the hell out of some of these remixes, mostly the ones with the vocals, even though I have no idea what this song is actually about. I did some research though, and apparently “eschaton” means “the end of the present world.” So “Destination Eschaton” would be about the end of the world? Wow. That’s some deep shit for a house track. From the tone of the track though, I think they mean transcendance to something higher, instead of “the end,” kind of like the end of Defending Your Life perhaps? I try to tie everything in my life to Albert Brooks comedies.

More by The Shamen in my next post!

This Post Blows

Monday, February 14th, 2011

Tonight’s post has a theme, see if you can guess what it is.

Renegade Soundwave
Cocaine Sex
Kray Twins
“Cocaine Sex”  is unapologetically pro-cocaine in such a way that its damn near quaint. At one point it even goes as far as to recommend that you “buy it” and “try it.” Gotta love that reckless regard for social responsibility. If your knowledge of blow was limited entirely to that song then you’d probably want to go out and snort some snow right after listening to it. If you’re looking for an anti-drug counterargument to the rampant “Just Say Yes!” philosophy of “Cocaine Sex” then just listen to “Kray Twins.” Its the kind of pointless stupidity that would only sound good while high. Both these tracks are b-sides to Renegade Soundwave’s amazing “Biting My Nails.”

Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel
White Lines (Don’t Do It) (Freestryle Remix Edit)
Bonus Lines
Supposedly Melle Mel had a pile of blow under his mic while recording this track, and did hits between takes. Now THAT is a cognitive disconnect. But hey, cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Duran Duran
White Lines (Sound Factory Dub)
White Lines (Sound Factory Dub 2)
White Lines (Global Groove Mix)
White Lines (Freestyle Mix)
White Lines (Rif Raf Mix)
I already posted these remixes a couple years ago or so. But what can I say…


How I Spend my Friday Nights

Saturday, February 12th, 2011

Hey look, it’s music on a Friday night/Saturday morning!

Blue Pearl
Alive (Goa Mix)
Alive (Radio Mix)
Alive (Organapella Mix)
Down To You (Massey Mix)

Last year much hoopla was made of Metallic Spheres, the new album by The Orb that featured Youth from Killing Joke and David Gilmour. The funny thing was that both of those guys already worked together at least once before.

Blue Pearl was a collaboration between Youth and female singer Durga McBroom, who worked as a backup singer for Pink Floyd in the 1980s. I guess she had a fan in David Gilmour, who contributed some guitar work to Blue Pearl’s only album, 1990’s Naked. According to Wikipedia Richard Wright from Pink Floyd also contributed on the album, but I don’t know if his work is on any of these tracks.

As for the songs themselves, they are very 80s house sounding, and pretty dated. Still, McBroom has a crazy amazing voice and the tracks are an excellent example of that kind of music.

Youssou N’Dour
Undecided (Deep 12” Dance Mix)
Undecided (12” Dance Instrumental)
Undecided (Deep Radio Mix)

I know nothing about Youssou N’Dour. Sorry. I bought this 12″ single on a whim and dug it for its Deep Forest-ness. Enjoy.

Soft Cell
Numbers (Extended Version)
Barriers

Now this is an artist I know about. I thought that by now damn near every obscure 80s track had been re-released on CD or digitally, but I guess I was mistaken. These versions of Numbers and Barrriers are not in print in any digital format (although the extended version of Numbers was on one re-issue of a Soft Cell album at one point, I can’t find that one anymore.)

Now look, I love me some Soft Cell. Tainted Love? Easily one of the top three songs of the decade. Sex Dwarf? Easily the best named-song of the decade. But these tracks? Well…I’m sure if you’re a devoted Soft Cell fanatic you’ll be very happy to find them here. Um, enjoy.

Super Bowled Over

Tuesday, February 8th, 2011

So the dome of protection that protected Pittsburgh from the blizzard was apparently part of some black magic pact that cost the city the Super Bowl. Oh well, at least we don’t have to endure headlines about how Ben Roethlisberger somehow “redeemed’ himself because he won a fucking football game.

But lets not talk about that (alleged) criminal. Instead lets talk about some actual criminals. The Black Eyed Peas.

The halftime show.

Holy.

Shit.

Wow. I mean, I knew the Black Eyed Peas sucked. I’ve written extensively about that very subject. Their shittiness is nothing new to me. But even I was surprised as to just how hideous they were. How does that even happen? Didn’t anyone at the NFL know? Shit. Maybe they should start holding auditions for bands before they take the stage and aurally assault America. Anyone notice how even with the autotune they sounded like a shit sandwhich? That’s because in order for the robo-voice effect to work right you have to be able to hold a note. Sure, when Will.I.Am is in the studio, he can shit out horrible take after horrible take of the opening line to “The Time (Dirty Bit),” because he just needs to deliver one average vocal performance. But when he has to puke out some vocals live he can’t even fulfill the bare minimum vocal requirements in order to make an autotuned performance sound good. Of course, if he just would have rapped without any bullshit vocal modification he would have sounded fine. But no, motherfucker wants to sound like a robot.

As for Fergie. Ugh. I almost kind of sort of defended her the last time I went off on an anti-Black Eyed Peas rant. That was a mistake. There’s no defending her now.

Most people know about how autotune can make people sound like robots, but what some people might not know is that autotune’s primary purpose is to not be noticed, and to fix poor vocal performances in the studio. And what I took away from Fergie trying to sing live is that, well, she can’t. She is a product of studio manipulation. Sure, she can rap/sing-talk fine, but you ask her to hold a note or carry a tune and her true, talentless colors come through bright and clear. Yikes. Well, at least she didn’t piss herself on stage this time. So she has that going for her, which is nice.

Oh, and Slash? Fuck you and your shiny top hat.

Sigh. Remember when Prince did the halftime show? That was awesome. Prince should just do all the halftime shows from now until the day he dies. And then we should just get replays of those.

Gary Numan
My World Storm (12” Mix)
My World Storm (Instrumental)

Could you imagine a Gary Numan halftime show? It would be amazing! He could come out in a little go-cart and rock out some of “Cars” before going into “Are ‘Friends’ Electric?” “Me! I disconnect from you” and close with a bitchin’ version of “Metal.” Sure, only eight people in the world would want to see that, but shit, we’d be stoked! These tracks are from a 12″.

Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Don’t Surrender (Extended Mix)
Don’t Surrender (The Most Excellent Mix)

Joan Jett’s halftime show would include her in a camouflage bikini top and leather pants. Then she’d beat the shit out of the entire defensive lines of both football teams.

John Foxx
Enter The Angel (Extended Mix)
Stairway

Foxx’s halftime show would…shit…I got nothing. It’s 2am. I should go to bed.

Another Post Before The Ice Storm

Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011

Short post tonight, but whatever, it has good music.

So far Pittsburgh has avoided Snowpacalypse 2011. Right now its just raining, and that rain isn’t even of the freezing variety. I’m sure we’ll get some form of wintery hell eventually however. So I’m not leaving my house until Thursday at the absolute earliest. The outside world is really overrated anyways.

Oh hey, I reviewed Pendulum’s new CD, go read that.

Also, while I didn’t review the new Duran Duran CD, my editor did. Read that, I think I like it more than him though. It’s pretty great. Its hard to find good pop music these days.

And hey, speaking of pop music(k)…

M
Pop Muzik (Britannia ’89 Remix)
Pop Muzik (Cabinet Remix)
Pop Muzik (The Hip Hop Club Remix)
Pop Muzik (The Hip Hop Remix)
Pop Muzik (Tolga’s Version)
Why not? I’ve posted a couple of these before, but if you’re like me and stuck in a fucking winter wonderland, then you might be feeling a bit down. Nothing like some good/great/godlike late 70s synthpop to really lift the spirits! These are all from various singles, CDs and other places. There are like 20 billion remixes of this song, so I’m not even trying to find out if these are available commercially still. I’m far too tired and slightly drunk to worry about that.

The Post Before The Ice Storm

Tuesday, February 1st, 2011

I buy a lot of vinyl.

I know, it’s shocking.

But I don’t just buy old out-of-print 12″ singles by synthpop artists, I buy new records too! I try to buy all new music exclusively on vinyl. I like to own something tangible when I buy music, and nothing is more tangible than vinyl.

Thankfully, a lot of labels and artists are picking up on this and releasing their records on vinyl the same day they are released digitally. This is cool of them, and it helps me keep faith that physical media isn’t quite dead yet.

However, they don’t always do it right, in fact sometimes the do it so wrong its just fucking insulting. Here are some of my biggest beefs with new vinyl releases.

No Digital Download
Yes, I buy vinyl partially because I think records sound better than MP3s, however, records sure as hell aren’t as convienent as MP3s. Its nice to have a digital copy of an album. And while I obviously know how to record an LP and convert it to MP3, not everyone does. So when they buy a vinyl copy of an album and it doesn’t come with a digital copy of the record they’re basically either forced to buy the album twice or steal it from a torrent site just to get the ability to play it on their computer or MP3 player. Labels shouldn’t make their customers resort to theft, they should give them the digital copy too. Not only that, if the person is buying the record from the artist or label’s official site, then they should get a link to download the tracks immediately and not have to wait for the physical copy to come in the damn mail. If I’m buying an album the day it comes out I want to listen to it the day it comes out, not wait two to four weeks for delivery.

ID Tags
Even if an artist includes a digital download with their vinyl release they can still find ways to fuck that up. One of the most annoying ways is when they don’t bother to create ID tags for the digital files. Sometimes they aren’t given track numbers, and other times album or even artist info is left blank! That’s just lazy and stupid. And that means that I have to fill that shit in. Is it the end of the world? No, but it’s really annoying. Everyone does this to some degree, but RJD2’s label seems to be particularly bad at it, which is annoying because I love his music and he’s a really nice guy. But seriously, how hard is it to make sure your MP3s are labeled properly?

Audio Quality
One of the reasons why I buy vinyl is because I hate over-compressed CDs that crank up the audio to levels that are far too loud. Vinyl actually can’t be too loud, the grooves can’t go that deep. Vinyl geeks like how vinyl sounds, so the MP3s that come with them should come from a vinyl source. Sadly, this is pretty rare. Most MP3 downloads that come with records are taken from the same digital, over-compressed, too-loud source that are used for the CD and digital release, so more often than not I end up recording my vinyl copy so I have a copy of the record for my iPod that actually sounds good. Is annoying. Of course, if they’re going to give vinyl buyers high quality versions of the songs then they might as well just give everyone those higher-quality versions, and we know that’s never going to happen. Nearly every digital download has this problem, I can only think of one notable exception: Beck’s Modern Guilt, which was actually taken from a master vinyl copy (you even hear the needle drop!) and it sounds amazing.

Extras
You can buy a digital copy of The New Pornographers’ Together at Amazon for $8.99. The CD costs just a scant more at $9.29. The LP costs $16.99, that’s almost like buying two digital copies. I know LPs cost more than CDs or digital copies to produce and distribute, but the consumers who shell out the extra bucks shoulnd’t have to eat all of that cost. Why can’t the labels or artists give us something extra since we paid extra? The added content can come in the way of bonus songs on MP3. Since the album should have a digital download link anyways, they should just throw a few more songs on it. It would cost the label almost nothing and actually encourage the fans to shell out more for the more expensive version. Everyone wins! The vinyl copy of El-P’s Weareallgoingtoburninhellmegamixx3 comes with digital download links to the first two volumes of the series, which is nice. However, those downloads lead me to my final point, which is…

Don’t be fucking lazy
The digital versions of the first two mixes are a great inclusion for fans, but they sound like SHIT. And I don’t mean that they are overcompressed or too loud, I mean that they sound like they were taken from a CD that was dragged through a shredder. Its hard to tell if the audio quality is supposed to be bad on these, I’m sure some of the audio glitches are intentional, but its hard to imagine that all the scratches, clips and other oddball audio effects included on these mixes were intentional. Even worse, both mixes have audio watermarks!

For those of you who don’t know, many times promo copies sent out to reviewers have audio watermarks included, these are usually distorted voices that play over the beginning or end of certain tracks, saying things like “You are listening to ALBUM” followed by a warning or an individualized number. These are included to help discourage leaks. They’re annoying enough on review copies, the fact that Definitive Jux couldn’t be bothered to remove them from a fucking FINAL COPY of a recording that is intended consumer use? Inexcusable! Now, it may be that these horribly annoying audio warnings were meant to be included in the original mixes, and if that’s the case then El-P is a fucking idiot.

You know who else is a fucking idiot? Kanye West. I just bought the deluxe vinyl version of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. And that thing is a fucking mess. No digital download, the audio quality is pretty crappy sounding and the art is censored!

The vinyl version of the album comes with, as Amazon describes “frameable artwork.”

Here’s one piece of the frameable artwork.

In case you were wondering, this is what the art is supposed to look like.

If that wasn’t bad enough, they even censor the art on the actual album.

You can’t even see the art from the outside of the box, so censoring it serves no purpose at all. Doing something like that requires a special kind of stupid. It’s really quite remarkable.

Dipshits.

Foxy Shazam
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
You know you aren’t dipshits? Foxy Shazam! They’re the opposite of dipshits, they are godlike geniuses who create music so fantasically amazing that if it gets any better it might cure cancer, solve world peace and function as a free energy source. I saw them last week and since then my eyesight has improved and I think my IQ has increased by 100 points. I also think I may have de-aged 10 years overnight and learned how to play every instrument ever known without taking a single lesson. This song, which is amazing and might just change your life strictly by the power of its perfect awesomeness, is from a 7″ single to their equally brilliant song “Oh Lord.”

Nine Inch Nails
Only (Richard X Edit
Only (Richard X Dub)
Only (EL-P Instrumental)

Nine In Nails are also not dipshits, and neither is Richard X, who created two of these great remixes. We’ve already been over the dipshitness of El-P, however. Thes are from a 12″.