Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

The Post Before The Ice Storm

Tuesday, February 1st, 2011

I buy a lot of vinyl.

I know, it’s shocking.

But I don’t just buy old out-of-print 12″ singles by synthpop artists, I buy new records too! I try to buy all new music exclusively on vinyl. I like to own something tangible when I buy music, and nothing is more tangible than vinyl.

Thankfully, a lot of labels and artists are picking up on this and releasing their records on vinyl the same day they are released digitally. This is cool of them, and it helps me keep faith that physical media isn’t quite dead yet.

However, they don’t always do it right, in fact sometimes the do it so wrong its just fucking insulting. Here are some of my biggest beefs with new vinyl releases.

No Digital Download
Yes, I buy vinyl partially because I think records sound better than MP3s, however, records sure as hell aren’t as convienent as MP3s. Its nice to have a digital copy of an album. And while I obviously know how to record an LP and convert it to MP3, not everyone does. So when they buy a vinyl copy of an album and it doesn’t come with a digital copy of the record they’re basically either forced to buy the album twice or steal it from a torrent site just to get the ability to play it on their computer or MP3 player. Labels shouldn’t make their customers resort to theft, they should give them the digital copy too. Not only that, if the person is buying the record from the artist or label’s official site, then they should get a link to download the tracks immediately and not have to wait for the physical copy to come in the damn mail. If I’m buying an album the day it comes out I want to listen to it the day it comes out, not wait two to four weeks for delivery.

ID Tags
Even if an artist includes a digital download with their vinyl release they can still find ways to fuck that up. One of the most annoying ways is when they don’t bother to create ID tags for the digital files. Sometimes they aren’t given track numbers, and other times album or even artist info is left blank! That’s just lazy and stupid. And that means that I have to fill that shit in. Is it the end of the world? No, but it’s really annoying. Everyone does this to some degree, but RJD2’s label seems to be particularly bad at it, which is annoying because I love his music and he’s a really nice guy. But seriously, how hard is it to make sure your MP3s are labeled properly?

Audio Quality
One of the reasons why I buy vinyl is because I hate over-compressed CDs that crank up the audio to levels that are far too loud. Vinyl actually can’t be too loud, the grooves can’t go that deep. Vinyl geeks like how vinyl sounds, so the MP3s that come with them should come from a vinyl source. Sadly, this is pretty rare. Most MP3 downloads that come with records are taken from the same digital, over-compressed, too-loud source that are used for the CD and digital release, so more often than not I end up recording my vinyl copy so I have a copy of the record for my iPod that actually sounds good. Is annoying. Of course, if they’re going to give vinyl buyers high quality versions of the songs then they might as well just give everyone those higher-quality versions, and we know that’s never going to happen. Nearly every digital download has this problem, I can only think of one notable exception: Beck’s Modern Guilt, which was actually taken from a master vinyl copy (you even hear the needle drop!) and it sounds amazing.

Extras
You can buy a digital copy of The New Pornographers’ Together at Amazon for $8.99. The CD costs just a scant more at $9.29. The LP costs $16.99, that’s almost like buying two digital copies. I know LPs cost more than CDs or digital copies to produce and distribute, but the consumers who shell out the extra bucks shoulnd’t have to eat all of that cost. Why can’t the labels or artists give us something extra since we paid extra? The added content can come in the way of bonus songs on MP3. Since the album should have a digital download link anyways, they should just throw a few more songs on it. It would cost the label almost nothing and actually encourage the fans to shell out more for the more expensive version. Everyone wins! The vinyl copy of El-P’s Weareallgoingtoburninhellmegamixx3 comes with digital download links to the first two volumes of the series, which is nice. However, those downloads lead me to my final point, which is…

Don’t be fucking lazy
The digital versions of the first two mixes are a great inclusion for fans, but they sound like SHIT. And I don’t mean that they are overcompressed or too loud, I mean that they sound like they were taken from a CD that was dragged through a shredder. Its hard to tell if the audio quality is supposed to be bad on these, I’m sure some of the audio glitches are intentional, but its hard to imagine that all the scratches, clips and other oddball audio effects included on these mixes were intentional. Even worse, both mixes have audio watermarks!

For those of you who don’t know, many times promo copies sent out to reviewers have audio watermarks included, these are usually distorted voices that play over the beginning or end of certain tracks, saying things like “You are listening to ALBUM” followed by a warning or an individualized number. These are included to help discourage leaks. They’re annoying enough on review copies, the fact that Definitive Jux couldn’t be bothered to remove them from a fucking FINAL COPY of a recording that is intended consumer use? Inexcusable! Now, it may be that these horribly annoying audio warnings were meant to be included in the original mixes, and if that’s the case then El-P is a fucking idiot.

You know who else is a fucking idiot? Kanye West. I just bought the deluxe vinyl version of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. And that thing is a fucking mess. No digital download, the audio quality is pretty crappy sounding and the art is censored!

The vinyl version of the album comes with, as Amazon describes “frameable artwork.”

Here’s one piece of the frameable artwork.

In case you were wondering, this is what the art is supposed to look like.

If that wasn’t bad enough, they even censor the art on the actual album.

You can’t even see the art from the outside of the box, so censoring it serves no purpose at all. Doing something like that requires a special kind of stupid. It’s really quite remarkable.

Dipshits.

Foxy Shazam
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
You know you aren’t dipshits? Foxy Shazam! They’re the opposite of dipshits, they are godlike geniuses who create music so fantasically amazing that if it gets any better it might cure cancer, solve world peace and function as a free energy source. I saw them last week and since then my eyesight has improved and I think my IQ has increased by 100 points. I also think I may have de-aged 10 years overnight and learned how to play every instrument ever known without taking a single lesson. This song, which is amazing and might just change your life strictly by the power of its perfect awesomeness, is from a 7″ single to their equally brilliant song “Oh Lord.”

Nine Inch Nails
Only (Richard X Edit
Only (Richard X Dub)
Only (EL-P Instrumental)

Nine In Nails are also not dipshits, and neither is Richard X, who created two of these great remixes. We’ve already been over the dipshitness of El-P, however. Thes are from a 12″.

Jack White is a Hypocrite and an Idiot

Thursday, December 2nd, 2010

Man, and I almost thought I had nothing to talk about today.

Jack White (of The White Stripes, Raconteurs, Dead Weather…I’m sure I’m forgetting something) has his own label called Third Man Records. Jack White likes to release limited edition records through Third Man. Really limited, like 500 copies only limited.  In addition to that, there is also The Vault, a PAID member service that gets access to exclusive member-only vinyl.

All combined, that’s a lot of limited edition records for not a lot of people. So there’s a huge secondary market for Third Man limiteds. I’ve seen some get close to a grand on eBay. It’s annoying of course, but when dealing with ultra-rare limited edition records, it’s the name of the game.

Oh, but Jack White won’t have none of that. He considers that “flipping” and its a rip off of the fans! Jerk flippers (aka really good Capitalists) are taking records out of fans hands and selling them at jacked up prices on eBay right after they come out! Jack doesn’t like that at all! But not because it’s a rip off to the fans, but because he’s not making that money himself.

Now Jack is apparently selling limited editions records on eBay auctions. Skipping the whole middle man and flipping them himself.

Fuck you man.

The coverage of this on Antiquiet and Pitchfork hasn’t really touched the main issue, which is Jack White’ hypocrisy. A hypocrisy that became pretty damn apparent when Jack White went to the message boards and chat rooms of The Vault after the fans there nearly revolted. At one point he said “why should ebay flippers, who are not real fans, dictate the price, make all the profit”?

Well Jack, maybe because you encouraged them to do so?

From The Vault FAQ

“Why Should I Spend My Hard-Earned Money With you?”

Good question. In 2001 The White Stripes were featured in the Sub Pop Singles Club. It was a subscription-only service where the lucky subscriber received a 7” every month for a very reasonable price. A six-month subscription in 2001 would have cost you $35. The White Stripes’ Sub Pop single on Sub Pop now consistently sells for $250 on reputable online auction sites.

We hope you want to subscribe to our service because you’re a die-hard fan of the music comic out of Third Man. Even if you are not. It would at least be an investment plan far more reliable than Wall Street.

So Jack White wants you to buy the records as an investment…but never sell them. At least, not sell them right away, when he could be making that money.

Jack further ranted (in all lowercase), “don’t want a split colored limited edition record? then guess what? don’t buy one. don’t want them to be expensive? then guess what? don’t WANT them. it’s you and others wanting them that dictates the price and the entire nature of the idea.”

Once again, from The Vault FAQ

“I Want to Have a Copy of Everything Third Man Ever Releases…”

I’ll stop you rigth there Holmes. If you are one of those nuts (and believe me, we at Third Man are all those nuts too) who pays attention to every little detail of every record that you ever buy and keep a mental checklist of catalog numbers, then you have to subscribe to this club. Our numbering system will be inclusive of each of these Vault releases. You no subscribe to The Vault. You no have the complete run of Third Man Product.

This shows Jack White’s hypocrisy in two separate ways. First he tells why we should want his product, and then tells us that if we dont want to pay that much not to WANT it (as if that’s something you can turn off and on). Then He says that if you want every Third Man release then you HAVE to join The Vault to get them, but these auctions on eBay are public auctions, meaning that ANYONE can get the records, provided they have the cash.

So Jack, speaking as a longtime fan of The White Stripes, fuck you. Fuck your hypocrisy. Fuck your manufactured rarity. Fuck your bullshit indignation at people who are only doing what you want them to. Fuck your stupid overpriced records that you have to crack open in order to buy, and fuck your bullshit faux-down-home country lifestyle. You’re from Detroit  you prick.

Now here are some songs from records I paid less than $20 each for.

Madonna
Die Another Day (Dirty Vegas Main Mix)
Die Another Day (Thunderpuss Club Mix)
Die Another Day (Thee RetroLectro Mix)
Die Another Day (Deepsky Remix)
Die Another Day (Dirty Vegas Dub)

This is one of Madonna’s lesser tracks, but I still enjoy it. I’ll be honest though, I never saw the movie it was named after. The last Bond movie I saw was “The World Is Not Enough.” And yes, I am one of five people in the world who liked that silly mess of a movie. It also had a great song of course, but that’s not the focus here. These remixes vary. The best is the “Thee RetroLectro Mix,” which was by Felix Da Housecat. Although, I’m a huge fan of Felix Da Housecat, so maybe I’m a bit biased. The “Ditry Vegas” mixes are good, but like all things Dirty Vegas, they are also kind of boring.

Tori Amos
Professional Widow (Armand’s Star Trunk Funkin Mix)
Professional Widow (Just Da Funk Dub)
Professional Widow (MK Mix)
Professional Widow (MK Vampire Dub)

I was really digging these remixes for a while. So much that I decided to revisit the original version of Professional Widow for the first time in probably a decade or so (man I’m old). After being reminded just how amazing the original version is, I ended up liking these remixes a lot less to honest. All the anger and intensity of the original is taken out of these mixes. Instead random snippets of Tori going “it’s gotta be big” and “suck it” turn it into a tarted up song about size queens. Oh well. They’re still good remixes. These are all from a 12” single. The “Star Trunk Funkin Mix” is on the Piano collection that Tori put out a few years ago, but this is the longer, unedited version.

Swordfish Break

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

Just got back from Lollapalooza, and boy are my arms tired. I will discover if my turntable worsk soon. Until then, enjoy some dancing swordfish.

Yeah. I don’t know either. And yes, I know the video goes out of my template’s “frame.” I haven’t figured out how to fix that yet.

Music coming soon.

And He’s Still More Metal Than You

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

And don’t you fucking forget it.

I’d Want My Foot Back

Monday, April 26th, 2010

Hey, I interviewed someone from Big Audio Dynamite!

Hey, I reviewed the new edition of This Is Big Audio Dynamite!

Hey! Music from bands you probably never heard of!

Braindead Sound Machine
Where The Pavement Ends (Edit)
Where The Pavement Ends (Nitronic Mix)
The Living End
Soon Come, Goddamit

And the winner for the Wikipedia page Most Obviously Written by a Fan or Band Member goes to Braindead Sound Machine. Yikes. That thing is a nightmare. I put some stuff up by these guys before, they were on Wax Trax, which is pretty much the only reason why I bought this single in the first place. It’s been sitting in my “Songs For The Blog” playlist for about a year now, and in the spirit of spring cleaning I finally decided to post them. I actually dig “Where The Pavement Ends” it’s a pretty good upbeat dance tune that happens to have one of the most disturbing vocal samples I’ve ever hard the wonderful displeasure of hearing. If anyone can tell me where that particularly gruesome vocal sample is from I would appreciate it. Don’t bother telling me where the vocal samples on “Some Come, Goddamit” are from. You know someone as misanthropic as me has seen Network right?

Sheep On Drugs
15 Minutes of Fame (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)
I could have probably cut this into three separate MP3s, but the single listed them as one track and if I’m anything it’s a stickler for consistency. I’ve heard about half a dozen Sheep on Drugs tracks and this is by far my favorite. It’s also the longest, so that works out well.

IT’S RECORD STORE DAY!

Saturday, April 17th, 2010

Turn off your computer and go buy some vinyl bitches.

Well, not now, it’s 1:15 in the morning, but you know what I mean.

I would totally hit that blue chick.

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

Just saw Avatar. Wow. Go see it now. Well, read my shit here first then go see it.

The Ravers
It’s Gonna Be A Punk Rock Christmas!
Silent Night
Have I The Right (Come Right Back)
Rich Kids

The Ravers were a 70s punk rock band. I am fairly certain, though, that these are not the same Ravers who went on to be The Nails and recorded “88 Lines about 44 Women” if they are, then they used to sing in fake British accents and that’s just kind of sad. Anyways, here’s my obligatory Christmas music for the season, enjoy.

Kraftwerk
Tour De France (Long Distance Version 2)
Tour De France (Version 1)
Tour De France (Version 3)
Expo 2000 (Orbital Mix)
Expo 2000 (Francois K & Rob Rives Mix)
Expo 2000 (DJ Rolando Mix)
Expo 2000 (Underground Resistance Mix)
Expo 2000 (Underground Resistance Infiltrated Mix)
Expo 2000 (Underground Resistance Thought 3 Mix)

A Christmas gift I am getting from myself is the new Kraftwerk box set The Catalogue, which collects every single Kraftwerk album from Autobahn till now. I’m stoked because I don’t own any Kraftwerk on CD, just vinyl, and the condition of those records is a little lacking. I am a little upset about the lack of “bonus” material in the box set though. No remixes or single edits, which is a bummer. And of course there’s nothing from their first three albums – which the group has pretty much disowned. That sucks because I have bootlegs of their second and third albums and while, yes, they are uneven, there is some bitching stuff on those albums. More people need to hear Tanzmusik because that song is amazing.

Like I said before, none of their remixes are on the box set, which makes me feel fine about putting these several mixes up. The Tour De France versions are from a 12” single I got. None of them are the same as the version on the album. The Expo 2000 remixes are from a CD single, but I’ll be honest and admit that I snagged them online.

Everyone enjoy their German electronic music/70s novelty punk songs and I’ll see you after Christmas. Merrry Chirstmas to all who celebrate it, and a happy (belated) Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Saturnalia, Festivus and ZiemassvÄ“tki – if any ancient Lavians are reading this.

Thank you for reminding me what a fine actor Bill Pullman Is

Thursday, October 15th, 2009

You can all stop doing that now.

Sorry for the delay in posts, been a busy couple of weeks. I make up for lost time by bringing you excessively silly disco!

Munich Machine
A Whiter Shade Of Pale
It’s For You
It’s All Wrong (But It’s Alright)
La Nuit Blanche
Love Fever
In Love With Love

Munich Machine was an alias for Giorgio Moroder. For those of you less versed in…awesome, Moroder is a music god, go to his wiki page to learn more, I’m tired. And while Moroder is responsible for some of the best tracks of the 70s and 80s, you won’t find any of them on this release. Yes, this is lesser Moroder for sure, but still fun in its own way. Some of it is great for its stupidity; the cover of “A Whiter Shade Of Pale” is re-goddam-diculous, and “La Nuit Blanche” is a silly disco take on “Also Sprach Zarathustra” (aka the music from the opening of 2001: A Space Odyssey). However, there are some stellar tracks here. “It’s For You” has an excellent haunting bassline that is just waiting to be sampled by someone and “In Love With Love” is vocoder-filled masterpiece. Sure, this is all cheesy and kind of silly, but who the hell cares? Besides, it’s all fine art compared to the Moroder album I’ll be putting up sometime next week…

Shit in my Angry Chair

Monday, October 5th, 2009

So on Friday I went to a local theater to see a double-feature of Nightmare On Elm Street and Candyman. I’m cool like that. My friend that was supposed to go with me couldn’t escape a work engagement so I went on my own, knowing I would meet a couple of friends when I got there. Nightmare On Elm Street starts and for some reason I go from zero to pissy in about six seconds. Hand nothing to do with the movie (which I love) it had to do with some people in the audience, who would not stop giggling. I get that the movie is old and a little dated, but it’s not FUNNY (okay, Johnny Depp getting blended to death is, but that’s really about it).

Still, while their non-stop giggling was annoying, I was far more annoyed with it than I should have been. This was on me not them. The movie ends and it’s time for intermission. I go out to talk to my friends about next week’s double-feature which is the Italian horror classic Zombi and the amazing 1987 Kathyrn Bigelow vampire flick Near Dark. I’m trying to sell Near Dark to my skeptic friends who haven’t seen it, playing up the awesomeness of Bill Paxton using a decapitated head to go bowling. One of them says “I loved him in Independence Day!”

“That’s Bill Pullman,” I say, correcting them. I’ve never understood the confusion between the two and it’s a big pet peeve. Bill Paxton; True Lies, Aliens, Apollo 13, Fragile. Bill Pullman: Independence Day, Lost Highway…and that’s about it. I’m a fan of the Paxton. Another friend, a very very good friend of mine, then says, “Does he eat fruit with the skin still on it in this one?” I’m confused and ask for some elaboration. She says, “You know, like he did in K-Pax.”

“That was Kevin Spacey you fucking retard!” I yell at her. Judging from the reactions to those around me I realize that was a bit harsh. I then realize that I am not being very good company that night and I take off early, skipping Candyman because I’m afraid any inappropriate giggling may end with me hurting someone.

The point of this story is that when you have your own blog you can talk about whatever the fuck you want even if it doesn’t have any relevance to anything else, or even a conclusion.

David Bowie
I’m Afraid Of Americans (V2)
I’m Afraid Of Americans (V3)
I’m Afraid Of Americans (V4)
I’m Afraid Of Americans (V5)
I’m Afraid Of Americans (V6)

My brother’s name is Johnny, ergo I find this song funny. These remixes are from a CD single. V3 features Ice Cube. V5 was remixed by Photek. v6 sucks. But don’t take my word for it, find out yourselves.

Alice In Chains
It Ain’t Like That (Live)
Hate To Feel (Live)

The new Alice In Chains album is actually fucking incredible. William Duvall is a great vocalist, reminiscent of Layne without sounding like a cheap imitation. Buy it. While you do that listen to these classic live Alice In Chains cuts taken from the CD single to Angry Chair.

Ten Years in the Twenties is Too Much

Sunday, September 6th, 2009

You can thank the lack of updates last week thanks to me turning 30 and getting drunk as fuck.

More updates this week. Until then – enjoy the big egg.

Seriously. I’ve watched this video a billion times.

The Big Egg is a lot bigger.