Slyvester Goes To Hollywood

February 6th, 2013

I’m on my new hosting service! But stuff is still kind of on fire. That’s why there’s no logo at the top of the screen. Hopefully that will get worked out soon. Double hopefully now that everything is moved I can finally start getting that other site in a state where I can unveil it to the masses. I think it’ll be relatively dope.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Two Tribes (Fluke Magimix)
Two Tribes (Olav Basoski’s Tiberium Power Mix)
Two Tribes (Rob Searle’s Club Dub)
While in Japan I picked up the Frankie Said, a  2CD compilation that assembles a rather bizarre combination of Frankie b-sides, remixes and outtakes. It’s an awesome collection, with multiple versions of classics like “Relax,” “Weclome The The Pleasuredome” and “Two Tribes.”

One of the most interesting things about the album is its sequence and editing. It has many interludes, 30-second to one-minute tracks that contain spoken word bits and song fragments. Many of them work to seamlessly segue into the next track. In doing so, it kind of transforms the hodgepodge collection into a concept album of sorts , and not just because parts of it sound like one big song mixed together, I mean thematically too. The compilation focuses on what Frankie knew best, hedonism, sex, drugs, and the constant threat of World War III. If that doesn’t have the makings of a concept album about life in the early 80s, I don’t know what does.

If you can find a copy of that 2CD set, I recommend picking it up. None of these remixes are from the said set though, they’re from a 2×12″ single that I also bought in Japan. The Fluke mix is the best of the bunch. And I love the fact that Fluke did a Frankie Goes To Hollywood remix.

Sylvester
Band Of Gold
Band Of Gold (Dub Mix)
Band Of Gold (Radio Edit)
Does the original version of “Band of Gold” by Freda Payne count as disco? It came out in 1970, which I guess predates disco by a few years, but it sure sounds like something that could have torn up a disco club in the 70s. It’s certainly one of my favorite pop songs of the decade, and has turned into a surprising recurring track here on The Lost Turntable. First I put up a cover by Modern Romance that was featured on the wonderfully horrid Party Party soundtrack. Then I shared it again years later, this time being Belinda Carlisle’s version. Those versions were good, but they can’t hold a candle to this one. I mean, c’mon, Sylvester? Patrick Cowley? Can’t top that.

Listening to this track got me on a disco kick, and I searched to see if Sylvester ever did a cover of my favorite classic disco track “Don’t Leave Me This Way.” Turns out he didn’t. However, I did find a cover of the song by his friend and fellow disco diva Jeanie Tracy. That cover has a remix called “A Sylvester Mix.” I don’t know if he had anything to do with the mix, or it if was a tribute to him and/or his boyfriend who had just succumbed to AIDS that year. “Don’t Leave Me This Way” was a rallying cry for the AIDS-affected gay community of the early 80s, so that wouldn’t surprise me. It’s awesome though, so now I have a new 12″ single to track down.

Vib-Ribbon! Make me happy and tendentious!!!!!!!!

January 28th, 2013

Scan

I wanted to stock up on game music when I went to Japan, but little did I know that the greatest game music I would find while there wouldn’t be on a soundtrack, but on the actual game itself. Thank you PS1 games with Redbook audio!

Laugh And Peace – Music From Vib Ribbon
Polaroid
Sunny Day
Laugh And Beats
Universal Dance
Overflowing Emotions
Roll Along
Vib Ribbon Blues
When it came to shopping in Japan, I was definitely focused on music more than anything else. However, I’d be remiss if I didn’t spend at least a little bit of time in Tokyo going after some vintage Japanese games and systems. The classic games that I was after ended up costing way more than the albums I wanted though, so my gaming purchases were rather limited. I did, however, pick up a few nice items, among them being an original Famicon Twin system, the Japanese version of Contra, and a game for the PS1 by the name of Vib Ribbon.

Vib Ribbon is an early rhythm game that was originally released in Japan in 1999. It was released in PAL territories the following year, but it never made its way to the states for some reason. I have no idea why, because it’s the dopest shit ever.

In Vib Ribbon you’re tasked with guiding a rabbit by the name of Vibri across a simple one-dimensional plane (or ribbon) that is filled with obstacles that are roughly based on the rhythm of the game’s music. Each obstacle can only be cleared by pressing the correct button (or button combination) at the exact right time. It starts out easy, but it gets crazy hard as you progress.

One of the most noteworthy things about the game is that you can remove the game disc and put any audio CD in the Playstation and play each song on the CD as its own “stage,” basically giving you as many stages as you have CDs. It’s a cute idea, and while I’ve done plenty of that in my time with the game, I’ve actually spent more time sticking to the game’s built-in soundtrack, because it’s incredible.

I had decided about twenty seconds into the first time I heard the adorable “Polaroid” that it was my new favorite song of all time of the month, only to have it immediately usurped by the even more adorable, beautiful and lovely “Sunny Day,” a song as bright and uplifting as its title. It’s so good. So good! I had to walk away from my computer before writing this post. It’s so good, I had to calm down, or tonight’s post would have been just something like “OMG YOU GUYS! THIS MUSIC! IT’S SO….AAAAAAAGRHGHRRDHRATERHEHEHGERHAE THERE’S NO TIME HURRY UP EVERYTHING’S SO FANTASTIC!”

And that’s just unprofessional.

But yes, you need to listen to this music especially the first three tracks, they are perfection, so happy it hurts.

As far as I know, all of these songs are by a Japanese group called Laugh And Peace. They are best known for…this. They released one album in 2006, but it was never released in the states (of course). You can stream it on their MySpace page though. I have no idea what the members are up to now, so if anyone does please let me know!

Listen. Be happy. (That’s an important part). And I’ll see you all later in the week with more awesome music, although to be honest I doubt it will be as awesome as this. It’s awesome.

Awesome.

Some choice records from Japan and Beijing

January 27th, 2013

While my in-depth articles on buying records in Beijing and Tokyo are still  in the works, I thought some of you might like to see some of the stuff I snagged. So here you go. No music tonight, I’ll have something up tomorrow though.

YMO (Yellow Magic Ochestra) are an amazing synthpop act from Japan who have been around since the late 1970s. One of the members is Ryuichi Sakamoto, who would later go on to some American success as an Oscar-winning film composer for his work on The Last Emperor. They’ve served as a major international influence on electronic music, but most of their best albums aren’t available in the states, so I snatched up as many as I could while in Japan. I bought almost all of these CDs at Tower Records(!!!) while I got the LPs from a variety of stores. All great finds. The live CDs are especially good.

 

I also grabbed some YMO-related albums, mostly solo projects and spin-off groups from the band’s three members. Of the ones I’ve listened to so far, I like The Beatniks one the most. That Summer Nerves album by Sakamoto is some ultra-cheesy disco and I love/hate it.

 

Boom Boom Satellites are another one of my favorite Japanese bands. Only their first album was released on CD in America, and most of their others aren’t even available digitally, so I had to grab as many as I could. Turns out they’re one hell of a prolific group, with nine albums and countless singles to their credit All these records are great by the way, if you like 90s-style electronica or electronic-rock ala Garbage then I highly recommend them. Their newest record, Embrace, is excellent.

 

One of my big goals in this trip was to find some X Japan on vinyl, but this proved much harder than I thought it would be. The only proper X Japan LP I could find was this picture disc of their last studio release, Dahlia, and it set me back about $50. I found a picture disc of one of their singles, but the store was asking (a fair) $200 for it and I passed.

 

I did find some cool X Japan-related material though, including their late guitar player Hide’s debut CD Hide Your Face (in deluxe packaging) and a copy of the band’s massive 2CD live album “On The Verge of Destruction.” The real treat, however, was that black box you see there. That’s not a CD nor an LP, it’s, in fact, a USB drive shaped like a heart!

 

Inside is the complete Hide discography in high quality MP3, including all his studio releases, both his live albums, and all his singles. Even better? I got it used for $40 at a camera store! Score!

 

Time for some wacky soundtracks. Of course I had to pick up some Godzilla LPs.

 

A selection of anime film scores.

 

The requisite Gundman BGM collections (spoiler: Japan LOVES Gundam)

 

And a nice assortment of Lupin The 3rd soundtracks. That one on the bottom right is especially interesting. It’s a two-LP set, and the front and back cover of one of the sleeves are pairs of interlaced images. On their own they look like a scrambled mess.

 

But when you slide the outer sleeve over them and adjust it accordingly, the real images become clear.

Simple but cool.

 

I really wanted to get some video game soundtracks on vinyl when I was in Japan, but this proved to be a near impossibility. In fact, I only found one but it’s a goodie. You can expect that on here soon.

 

While I couldn’t get much in the way of video game vinyl, I did end up snagging a good deal of game soundtracks on CD. Got some good stuff including some Sega and Nintendo greatest hits. The Bare Knuckle (Streets Of Rage) CD was a real find, and cost accordingly.

 

Some other great soundtracks. Breakin’ 2 and Warlock, together at last!

 

Got some great soundtracks on CD as well. That 2CD set of The Fog is a real nice find.

 

Of course, coming across this one made me really happy. I think I scared some clerks with my yelling. Or maybe it was because I’m 6’6″ tall?

 

I was hoping to pick up some Nirvana when I was there, and thankfully the local stores didn’t disappoint. All of these are first printings, and all look flawless. Definitely stoked to pick these up. On a related note, I now own six different versions of Nevermind on CD and vinyl, and four different versions of Incesticide. No, I don’t have a problem. I can stop anytime I want to.

 

You know who’s big in Japan? Japan.

 

Public Image Ltd. is also apparently big in Japan, if the wealth of PiL vinyl I saw was any indication.

 

Also got this pretty radical CD box set.

Who likes brit-pop singles box sets?

 

Wow!

 

Wow again! I now own the America, German and Japanese pressings of this record. No wonder I’m running out of shelf space for my LPs.

 

I’ve never seen so much 90s vinyl in my life as I did in Japan.

 

Came across a lot of Dinosaur Jr. and Dinosaur Jr. related records while I was in Tokyo as well, I don’t know why. I sure bought a lot of it though.

 

Some random silliness.

 

Random silliness continues. Once I bought one I had to get the other.

 

Some lovely nostalgia. Seeing The Muppet Show soundtrack made me squee with joy, while I picked up the Saturday Morning Cartoons compilation just for fun, I bought that CD the week it came out, it has some of my favorite tracks from the era (Sponge’s take on “Speed Racer,” The Ramones tearing up the theme to “Spider-Man”).

 

If there’s a more appropriate record to pick up in Japan I don’t know what it is. Thank you very much Mr. Roboto.

Of course, there was plenty more where that came from, but I don’t want to ruin all the surprises!

Hoped you like this, stay tuned for a lot of music this week!

I’m back! And I brought all the Japanese synth-pop with me!

January 22nd, 2013

Okay, so here was my plan: Put a couple posts in the pipe while I was in China, and then once I got to Japan, occasionally blog about the stuff I was getting/feature some music from any out-of-print CDs I may have bought while in the country.

The first part of my plan worked perfectly, however, once in Japan I realized I failed to take into account HOW FUCKING AWESOME TOKYO IS. Sorry, but once I got there the last thing I wanted to do was sit in my hotel room and write about what I bought that day. I wanted to go out and play in the arcades; walk around Shibuya until midnight; go to crazy Japanese clubs; drink crazy Japanese drinks; and so much more! There’s so much to do and see in that city, and the longer I was there, the less I cared about getting back to my hotel in time to write a really good blog post. I just wanted to explore that city until my feet couldn’t take anymore, sleep, wake up, and repeat the whole process. So sorry if the blog kind of fell into a wasteland for a couple of weeks, but I was honestly having too much fun to really care.

But I’m back now! And holy shit do I have a lot to talk about! I plan on writing a couple of massive posts about my trip in the coming weeks/month, hopefully for my oft-delayed new site, but until then, I’m just going to start posting music that I picked up on the trip. I bought a ton of Western stuff, but expect to see a good portion of Japanese music as well, starting with tonight.

Yellow Magic Orchestra
Y.M.O. Mega-Mix
Firecracker (Remix)
Behind The Mask (Remix)
I wish I knew the reason why most of Yellow Magic Orchestra’s discography remains painfully hard to get in the states. Only one of their albums is available digitally on Amazon, and only a select few are available to buy via import. Is it a right’s issue? Or is Sony (I think that’s who own this stuff) just too stupid to give the stuff a proper release. I get why they haven’t bothered to put the CDs out here, but it would cost them next to nothing to get this stuff on digital download stores. What gives?

I didn’t want to wait to find out, so when I was in Japan I pretty much picked up a complete YMO discography across both CD and LP, and over the next few months I’m going to try and figure out what to post and what not to. Sure, nearly all of their albums aren’t available in the states, but I still think that most of them are worth tracking down and picking up, even at import prices. Maybe I’ll do some kind of “Greatest Hits” where I choose my favorite YMO tracks across the records I picked up. I think that’s the best and most ethical way to do things.

Tonight though I’m putting up a complete CD single, because even if the YMO albums proper ever make their way to American shores, I really doubt these remixes will. These are from a 1990 CD single simply called Y.M.O MEGA MIX that contains the self-titled medley track, and two additional YMO remixes.  The mega-mix is a massive 12 minute beast, containing snippets from seven different YMO tracks. None of them are massively re-worked, but it’s a great brief journey through some of YMO’s better tracks, including the excellent “Rydeen” and the super-catchy “Computer Game.”

I personally prefer the two additional remixes more than the mega-mix, especially the mix of “Behind The Mask” that extends the song by nearly two minutes and really lets the track’s excellent melody come to life.

It’s good to be back! And expect plenty of amazing stuff over the next few months! I bought so many records in Japan…

I’m not dead.

January 16th, 2013

I just have a nasty head cold and hella jet lag.

New post coming soon.

PS: I bought all the music in Japan. It’s all gone. Sorry.

Grunge Thunder From Down Under

January 2nd, 2013

As this post goes up I will probably be finishing up my trip in China and getting ready to head off to Japan. That will be the closest I ever make it to Australia, so I thought I’d share a concert that was recorded down under to mark the occasion.

Why will I never go to Australia? Because I don’t want to be killed by any of the deadly spiders, snakes, insects, fish, jellyfish, dingoes, kangaroos  bats or koalas that seem to roam around that country with impunity.

That, and records cost a fucking fortune there.

Nirvana – Live In Melbourne, February 1st, 1992 (Complete concert link)
Aneurysm
Drain You
School
Sliver
About A Girl
Come As You Are
Lithium
Breed
Polly
Lounge Act
In Bloom
Love Buzz
Smells Like Teen Spirit
Druid’s Jam
Negative Creep
On A Plain
Blew
Been a while since I shared a Nirvana bootleg so I thought I’d ring in the New Year with one.

I do know there are other source recordings for this show, it shows up quite a bit on various bootleg sites in varying degrees of quality. It’s been released on CD at least four times, under the names “In A Land Far Far Away,” “The Druids Jam,” “Melbourne 1992” and “Narcolepsy.” My source for this recording was a 2LP set that came in a plain white sleeve and a sheet of paper with a “Live Wire” logo. Beneath that was the text “Show #57 for the week of October 13.” I can assume then that Live Wire was a radio show that featured live performances, and this was the performance for that week.

I think this version that I have sounds pretty damn good, and the records were very well taken care of so I barely had to do any cleaning to the recordings. About the only problems with the audio are from the source material. Parts of this set are pretty feedback-laden, and Kurt and company didn’t seem to be completely on fire that night, making a few mistakes early on before settling into a nice groove. There is also no talk from Kurt, Dave or Krist for the entirety of the concert. Nirvana was never a band that was chatty with the audience, but most shows I have include at least a little bit of wacky banter from Krist, this one has nothing at all.

As it stands though, this is a pretty good concert, warts and all. It also has an honest-to-goodness rarity, the instrumental “Druid’s Jam,” (a name that a fan probably created). It’s pretty much just four minutes of feedback and noise, but hey, it’s something.

Looking for more Nirvana bootlegs? Well check out this post that has a great Boston show from 1990, and this post for a legendary set from 1991 that was also in Boston.

Dispatch From China: Some Like It Hot

December 26th, 2012

As I write this post I am sitting in my room, drinking whiskey and listening to Erasure. However when you read it I will be in motherfucking China, probably freezing my ass off on the Great Wall or exploring the city’s burgeoning punk and metal scenes (I am so stoked to hear Chinese punk, you have no idea). Oh the magic of “post on date.”

However, since I have just spent the past four hours writing various other words for various other articles, blog posts and emails, I am officially out of things to say! So this one will be brief. Good stuff though, at least I think so.

The Power Station
Some Like It Hot And The Heat Is On 
This version of The Power Station’s biggest hit is a megamix of sorts that combines the original album version of the track with “The Heat Is On,” the dub mix of the song. It’s good, but all I could think about while listening to it is the video for the song. It’s 80s as fuck.

The following things happen in this video:

  • A rotoscoped woman dances.
  • An extremely tall female model walks up to a space heater while Robert Palmer sings “feel the heat.
  • Plastic trees burst into flames!
  • The same model from before returns and shaves her already shaven armpit on camera.
  • Robert Palmer (dressed as a priest) sings to a statue of a bird.
  • Stock footage people clap.
  • The model puts on pink lipstick while a statue of a tiger watches.
  • Guitar solo by the dude from Duran Duran, he is clad in ammo belts and 80s metal hair.
  • Model puts a lamp up to her face when Palmer repeats the lyric “feel the heat”
  • Model sunbaths in a black light, with shaving cream on her face.
  • Rotoscoped lady re-appears from lightening!
  • Freeze frame!
  • Song ends.
  • PS: bolo ties.
  • PPS: Neon green eyeliner
  • PPPS: The 80s yo.

Erasure
Always (Extended Mix)
You guys! I almost went an entire year without posting an Erasure remix! What the fuck! If that happened I would have lost my fabulousness (and fuck you Chrome, that’s a word). This is from a 12″ single.

Oh god I just thought something: what if there is there is a club in China that plays vaguely gay synthpop? Oh god I hope there is. I’ll dance my ass off. Fuck punk bars, that’s where it’s at.

 

A replica of a remix of a re-release.

December 20th, 2012

Yeah, so I spelled “R2D2” wrong in my last post. Shut up. Did you record the 45, clean up the audio, rip it into MP3s, tag the MP3s, upload the MP3s to a server you paid for, and then write about the song?

Didn’t think so!

Seriously though, thanks to the person who pointed out the typo while not being a dick. That was nice.

This will be my last post before Christmas, so if you’re celebrating/recognized/being forced to observe Christmas, I hope you have a happy holiday. For the rest of you, I hope your Tuesday doesn’t suck. Additionally, this will be my last post before I embark on my trip to China and Japan! I have some posts lined up to go during my absence, and I hope to get a lot of stuff up here during my time in Tokyo. Hopefully you all will barely notice a break in my posts.

The train never stops at Lost Turntable. Notice how so many websites pretty much shut down during the Christmas/New Year’s break? Not this place! Not only am I going to continue to update the site during the break, but I’ll even be doing it while I’m on another fucking continent!

So what I’m basically saying is that everyone else is lazy. And I’m awesome.

And modest. So very modest.

 

Roni Size/Reprazent: Selections from Replica The Remix Album
Brown Paper Bag (Photek Remix)
Heroes (Origin Unknown Remix)
Share The Fall (Grooverider’s Jeep Style Mix)
New Forms (Krust’s Wide Screen Version)
Brown Paper Bag (Nobukazu Takemura Remix)
Heroes (Kruder Long Loose Bossa)
Down (Bel Air Remix)
New Forms (Roni Size Remix)
Western
Electricks

So, Roni Size is the person, right? And Reprazent is the group? But..Roni Size is also in Reprazent? Well then why not just call themselves Reprazent? Or maybe Reprazent featuring Roni Size? Why the extraneous slash? Motherfuckers have to be special, it’s like how Trent Reznor’s new band How To Destroy Angels is supposed to be spelled “How To Destroy Angels_” that’s with an underscore at the end. I love Trent Reznor and will pretty much defend to the death anything he does, but that’s dumb with a capital U (see, the wrong letter is capitalized, that’s how dumb it is).

Okay, I’m going off topic. Replica is, to date, Roni Size/Reprazent’s only compilation remix album. It was originally released in Japan in 1997, got a release in Australia the following year, and that was it. The album was never put out on disc in the US or the UK, and as of 2012 the album has yet to make appearance on digital marketplaces like Amazon or iTunes. You would think that with the massive success that Roni Size/Reprazent had with New Forms they would want to release this remix album in as many territories as possible, but whatever. Their lack of international regard is your gain today.

The only song from Replica that I am not sharing is the album closer “Electriks.” It’s not a remix, and it can also be found on most versions of New Forms, including the versions that can be bought on iTunes and Amazon’s MP3 store.

Speaking of versions of New Forms, holy shit there are a lot of versions of that record. First there was the original 2CD version that first came out in the UK.  Later on, the UK also got the first disc of the 2CD album as a single disc release.

Meanwhile in the US, we got the complete 2CD version that also included “Electricks” (which was not available on the original UK version). Then Japan got their own single CD version with an altered track listing that included the awesome rap single edit of “Brown Paper Bag.” And then there are the vinyl versions; a 4LP edition that is an approximation of the first CD, and a freakin’ 5LP edition that is based mostly on the second CD. And I haven’t even mentioned New Forms2, the remix/remake of the album that the group released in 2008.

So what I’m basically saying is that there needs to be Super Deluxe edition of New Forms that includes all of that shit. we got like four years before the album’s 20th anniversary  Let’s make this happen people.

 

Jon Bon Jovi is R2D2’s Secret Santa

December 19th, 2012

It’s really been a watershed year for The Lost Turntable when it comes to posting stupid ass bullshit.

For real. I mean, in the course of these 12 months I’ve posted remixes of both the themes to Demolition Man and the Flintstones movies; remixes to “Satellite Of Love;” an entire album of latin love songs redone on the Moog; and a dance mix of Alice In Chains’ “Man In The Box.” There was even a post earlier this year with the title “My Tongue Hurts, Here are 32 Madonna Remixes.” Am I am pretty certain that I wrote that one while sober. So that stupidity is all on me.

That being said, with all that taken into account, and with a full year of incredibly idiotic posts behind me, I feel that tonight’s brief foray into sci-fi themed Christmas music may in fact be the dumbest thing I post all year. Godspeed.

Meco
What Do You Get A Wookiee For Christmas When He Already Has A Comb
R2D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas
Goddamn.

What kind of person would think that a Christmas album about Wookiees, droids and Jedis would be a good idea? Why, Meco of course!

Meco, for those who do not know, has pretty much spent his entire professional life milking Star Wars and other sci-fi films, reconstructing music from them for his own disco/electronic releases. His first taste of success came in 1978, with the album Music Inspired By Star Wars and Other Galactic Funk.  That album is a masterpiece of disco cheese, with the first side being entirely dedicated to electronic disco interpretations of Star Wars themes, and the second featuring three original compositions (brilliantly titled “Other,” “Galactic,” and “Funk.”) If you have to own a Meco record (and let me be clear, you really don’t have to own a Meco album) this is the one to get.

After the release of Star Wars and Other Galactic Funk, Meco released Encounters of Every Kind, an album of original music that also included a discofied take on the theme to Close Encounters of The Third Kind. A year later he released his interpretation of The Wizard Of Oz, and I take back my previous statement, if you only buy one Meco record, snag that, because it is batshit fucking crazy.

Other sci-fi disco releases followed, but none apparently caught the pop world on fire like his first release, so in 1980 he returned to a galaxy far far away and released Christmas In The Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album, apparently unaware of the televised abortion that was the Star Wars Holiday Special.

Christmas albums, as a whole, are pretty atrocious affairs. And even from the standards of those, Christmas In The Stars is an utter and complete train-wreck clusterfuck, with its blatant cheapo cash grab status made all the more obvious by the fact that the only original cast member from Star Wars to make an appearance on the album is Anthony Daniels, who reprises his role as C-3PO. The only other characters from the films who make a substantial appearance are RD2D and Chewbacca, probably since both can be re-created without having to use original cast members.

While the album is utterly atrocious, it is notable for who worked on it if nothing else. The record was mixed by Scott Litt, who would go on to produce albums for R.E.M., The Replacements, Nirvana and many more. If I’m not mistaken, it is his first professional credit, although he actually shares a mixing credit with Tony Bongiovi.

Tony Bongiovi is the cousin of one John Bongiovi, who provides the lead vocals to the track “R2D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas.”

Who the hell is John Bongiovi? Well, that would be the birth name of one Jon Bon Jovi, the lead singer of the multi-platinum hair metal act that shares his last name. This is actually Jon Bon Jovi’s first credited appearance on an album, coming four years before the band would release their self-titled debut record, and six years before the band would become the biggest name in 80s pop rock with Slippery When Wet. I wonder how often he thinks back to his days of singing about R2D2’s holiday cheer?

The complete Christmas In The Stars album has only been widely released twice, first on vinyl in 1980, and then again on CD in 1996. Both versions are well out-of-print and go for a fortune online, no doubt because of die-hard Star Wars fanatics with too much disposable income (being a lifelong single bachelor who lives with your parents will do that).

I don’t own the album, I don’t hate myself that much. However, I do apparently hate myself enough to have once bought the “What Can You Get A Wookiee…” single. So enjoy that and the B-side, the Jon Bon Jovi fronted “RD2D We Wish You A Merry Christmas.”

Okay…maybe not enjoy. But you know what I mean.

 

By the way, some quick site news!

On Sunday I leave for Toledo. Yay. But then on Wednesday I leave from Detroit for Beijing! And then after spending about a week in Beijing I will be traveling to Japan for 10 days of OMG FREAKING OUT at all the amazing shit in Tokyo. I want to get one more post out before I depart, but I don’t what day that will go up. I also plan on having something written to go up automatically while I am in Beijing. I will not be blogging while in Beijing. Long story. I’ll share it after I get out of Beijing.

However, expect me to blog the shit out of Tokyo. I’ve never been, and I’m sure that the sights and sounds of the neo-metropolis will cause my nerdy head to explode.  I don’t know how much music you can expect from me during my time in Tokyo (I’m not bringing a turntable, so I’ll only be sharing stuff I get on CD), but you can bet that I’ll be writing a ton about record stores, live music, and all the other crazy shit I’ll be taking in during my trip. I”m super-excited.

And don’t forget, if you want constant updates on what’s coming up on this blog/unedited vulgar ramblings, be sure to follow me on Twitter!

 

More Madonna. More Hosting Woes.

December 13th, 2012

So I guess I should probably elaborate on this?

Okay, I transferred my site to Nearly Free Speech (NFS) last month because I heard a lot of good things about them, most of which I detail in this post.

I resolved a lot of the financial issues with them, but now I’m finding that they aren’t all that cracked up to be when it comes to the technical side of things either.

I was going to try and be civil and rational with this, but I guess I’m not good at that. So I’m just going to come right out and say it.

NFS is apparently run by a group of paranoid idiots.

They’re servers are jacked up with so much excessive and redundant security systems that upgrading, modifying or altering anything on my end is nearly impossible. Under NFS’s default settings, I cannot upgrade WordPress, install plug-ins, remove plug-ins, modify anything, or even upload pictures. It’s a mess. And what makes it all worse is that there’s NOTHING on NFS”s site to explain this, and that there is NO free customer support to help users sort all of it out. If you have an account with NFS and you need help, your only option is to turn to their forums, which are staffed by both NFS employees and other users who try their best to help each other navigate the magical land of bullshit that is NFS’s server system. Pretty convenient for them huh? Make a system that no one can understand and then charge the users to help them!

Assholes.

And to make matters worse, this is effecting my upcoming site as well, so I have to postpone launching that AGAIN. I vow to get that shit up before I go to Tokyo, and it will happen. But I think it’s going to be close now.

Is NFS a cheap web hosting solution? I mean, maybe? It’s not for me. I’ve already had to go to a third hosting provider for my files, because NFS’s system is straight up broken if you want to host large files. It’s pathetic. But even without that taken into account, NFS isn’t really affordable or a good deal. Why?

Because your time is worth money. A blog without any large files would probably be able to be hosted on NFS for less than $40 a year. But you know what? My time is worth money too! And when I have to spend dozens of hours just figuring out how to do basic things that every other hosting provider on the planet does automatically, then any value that NFS’s low-cost hosting may have had is immediately lost.

Screw these mofos. I’m never using Nearly Free Speech again, and I really recommend that no one else does either. They are scam artists who exploit their convoluted, broken service for a quick buck from those who don’t know better. They suck.

Now let’s listen to Madonna.

Madonna
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina (Miami Mix Alternate Ending)
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina (Miami Spanglish Mix)
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina (Miami Mix Edit)
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina (Miami Dub Mix)
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina (Miami Mix Instrumental Version)
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina (Miami Spanglish Mix Edit)
Love Don’t Live Here Anymore (Extended Journey)
Love Don’t Live Here Anymore (Hot Mix Edit)
Love Don’t Live Here Anymore (Hot Mix Radio Edit)
Love Don’t Live Here Anymore (Edge Factor Dub)
Love Don’t Live Here Anymore (Early Morning Dub)
Express Yourself (Shep’s ‘spressin’ Himself Re-remix)
Oh god that’s a lot of Madonna what have I done? I have one more Madonna single I want to post sometime soon, but this should be the last of the Madonna for a while.

A year or two ago I had a post with some remixes of Madonna’s much-maligned “American Life,” where I dubbed it one of the worst songs of all time. That may have been a bit harsh, so I’m going to try to avoid such hyperbole tonight.

However, that being said…wow holy fuck do I hate “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.” I hate it. I hate it so much. Seriously. It’s like, unhealthy how much I hate this goddamn song. I hated the original version, I hate these remixes and I hate the fact that I even own the 12″ single, something I bought solely because I have to be a completist and own one version of every single Madonna 12″. Why? I don’t know, because I have weird problems. But hey, if you like this song, go nuts. Seriously, if you like this song, good for you! Have fun with these remixes! Download all of them and have yourself an Andrew Lloyd Weber dance party!

Just don’t invite me.

Now, “Love Don’t Live Here Anymore,” that’s a song that I can get behind. And it’s a song that I didn’t realize was a cover until about five minutes ago! Research! It’s a wonderful thing! Madonna’ first covered it for Like A Virgin, but it wasn’t released as a proper single until 1996, when it was re-recorded/reworked for inclusion on her ballads compilation Something to Remember. As I said before, I’m not a huge fan of Madonna’s ballads, but I do enjoy this one, and I especially like these more upbeat dance mixes that inject some life into the downbeat number. I got these mixes from a weird red label promo 12″ that I guess is kind of rare. So I got that going for me. Which is nice.

And finally, “Express Yourself”! I don’t feel that I need to explain, extol or exclaim the virtues of this one. It’s a bona fide classic, and is probably in my top five list of Madonna songs, behind “Vogue” and before “Hung Up.”  This remix is by Shep Pettibone and it was included as a b-side to “Justify My Love.” It’s a pretty out there mix too. A lot of the elements from the original version are stripped out and about half of its 9 and a half minute running time is dedicated to an extended breakdown in the middle that features more stutters than a class full of kids with speech disorders (I can make that joke! I have a stutter and a speech impediment!) It’s really different and worth a listen. I hope you like it.