The New Gawker Layout Sucks

February 17th, 2011

I have nothing to add to that headline up there. I just wanted to say that in big headline print.  What a fucking trainwrek. Anyone want to recommend good blogs that are similar to Jezebel, Lifehacker and Kotaku? I can barely visit those anymore. Too many stupid big pictures and horrible design elements crowding up everyhing.

How come more blogs can’t have amazing layout like mine?

That was sarcasm, by the way.

The Shamen
Destination Eschaton (Basement Boys 12″ Dub – Destination Chant)
Destination Eschaton (Basement Boys 12″ Vocal – Destination Discoton)
Destination Eschaton (Beatmasters 12″ Vocal – Destination Meccaton)
Destination Eschaton (Hardfloor 12″ Dub – Destination Komotion)
Destination Eschaton (Hardfloor 12″ Vocal – Destination Krefeldton)
Destination Eschaton (Shamen Acid – Escacid)
Destination Eschaton (Shamen Deep Melodic Techno Mix – Destination Islington)
Destination Eschaton (Sounds Of Life Vocal Mix)
Destination Eschaton (Vission Lorimer Acid Mix)
Destination Eschaton (Vission Lorimer Dome Mix)
My my, that is a lot of remixes of a song (71 minutes worth!) that I didn’t even know existed a week ago. My experience with The Shamen is pretty limited, but people whose opinions I respect dig them, so I should really check out their stuff more. I dig the hell out of some of these remixes, mostly the ones with the vocals, even though I have no idea what this song is actually about. I did some research though, and apparently “eschaton” means “the end of the present world.” So “Destination Eschaton” would be about the end of the world? Wow. That’s some deep shit for a house track. From the tone of the track though, I think they mean transcendance to something higher, instead of “the end,” kind of like the end of Defending Your Life perhaps? I try to tie everything in my life to Albert Brooks comedies.

More by The Shamen in my next post!

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Posted in remixes, The Shamen | 7 Comments »

This Post Blows

February 14th, 2011

Tonight’s post has a theme, see if you can guess what it is.

Renegade Soundwave
 Cocaine Sex
Kray Twins
“Cocaine Sex”  is unapologetically pro-cocaine in such a way that its damn near quaint. At one point it even goes as far as to recommend that you “buy it” and “try it.” Gotta love that reckless regard for social responsibility. If your knowledge of blow was limited entirely to that song then you’d probably want to go out and snort some snow right after listening to it. If you’re looking for an anti-drug counterargument to the rampant “Just Say Yes!” philosophy of “Cocaine Sex” then just listen to “Kray Twins.” Its the kind of pointless stupidity that would only sound good while high. Both these tracks are b-sides to Renegade Soundwave’s amazing “Biting My Nails.”

Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel
 White Lines (Don’t Do It) (Freestryle Remix Edit)
Bonus Lines
Supposedly Melle Mel had a pile of blow under his mic while recording this track, and did hits between takes. Now THAT is a cognitive disconnect. But hey, cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Duran Duran
White Lines (Sound Factory Dub)
White Lines (Sound Factory Dub 2)
White Lines (Global Groove Mix)
White Lines (Freestyle Mix)
White Lines (Rif Raf Mix)
I already posted these remixes a couple years ago or so. But what can I say…


Posted in Duran Duran, Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel, remixes, Renegade Soundwave | 11 Comments »

How I Spend my Friday Nights

February 12th, 2011

Hey look, it’s music on a Friday night/Saturday morning!

Blue Pearl
Alive (Goa Mix)
Alive (Radio Mix)
Alive (Organapella Mix)
Down To You (Massey Mix)
Last year much hoopla was made of Metallic Spheres, the new album by The Orb that featured Youth from Killing Joke and David Gilmour. The funny thing was that both of those guys already worked together at least once before.

Blue Pearl was a collaboration between Youth and female singer Durga McBroom, who worked as a backup singer for Pink Floyd in the 1980s. I guess she had a fan in David Gilmour, who contributed some guitar work to Blue Pearl’s only album, 1990’s Naked. According to Wikipedia Richard Wright from Pink Floyd also contributed on the album, but I don’t know if his work is on any of these tracks.

As for the songs themselves, they are very 80s house sounding, and pretty dated. Still, McBroom has a crazy amazing voice and the tracks are an excellent example of that kind of music.

Youssou N’Dour
Undecided (Deep 12” Dance Mix)
Undecided (12” Dance Instrumental)
Undecided (Deep Radio Mix)
I know nothing about Youssou N’Dour. Sorry. I bought this 12″ single on a whim and dug it for its Deep Forest-ness. Enjoy.

Soft Cell
Numbers (Extended Version)
Barriers
Now this is an artist I know about. I thought that by now damn near every obscure 80s track had been re-released on CD or digitally, but I guess I was mistaken. These versions of Numbers and Barrriers are not in print in any digital format (although the extended version of Numbers was on one re-issue of a Soft Cell album at one point, I can’t find that one anymore.)

Now look, I love me some Soft Cell. Tainted Love? Easily one of the top three songs of the decade. Sex Dwarf? Easily the best named-song of the decade. But these tracks? Well…I’m sure if you’re a devoted Soft Cell fanatic you’ll be very happy to find them here. Um, enjoy.

Posted in Blue Pearl, David Gilmour, Soft Cell, Youssou N'Dour | 10 Comments »

Super Bowled Over

February 8th, 2011

So the dome of protection that protected Pittsburgh from the blizzard was apparently part of some black magic pact that cost the city the Super Bowl. Oh well, at least we don’t have to endure headlines about how Ben Roethlisberger somehow “redeemed’ himself because he won a fucking football game.

But lets not talk about that (alleged) criminal. Instead lets talk about some actual criminals. The Black Eyed Peas.

The halftime show.

Holy.

Shit.

Wow. I mean, I knew the Black Eyed Peas sucked. I’ve written extensively about that very subject. Their shittiness is nothing new to me. But even I was surprised as to just how hideous they were. How does that even happen? Didn’t anyone at the NFL know? Shit. Maybe they should start holding auditions for bands before they take the stage and aurally assault America. Anyone notice how even with the autotune they sounded like a shit sandwhich? That’s because in order for the robo-voice effect to work right you have to be able to hold a note. Sure, when Will.I.Am is in the studio, he can shit out horrible take after horrible take of the opening line to “The Time (Dirty Bit),” because he just needs to deliver one average vocal performance. But when he has to puke out some vocals live he can’t even fulfill the bare minimum vocal requirements in order to make an autotuned performance sound good. Of course, if he just would have rapped without any bullshit vocal modification he would have sounded fine. But no, motherfucker wants to sound like a robot.

As for Fergie. Ugh. I almost kind of sort of defended her the last time I went off on an anti-Black Eyed Peas rant. That was a mistake. There’s no defending her now.

Most people know about how autotune can make people sound like robots, but what some people might not know is that autotune’s primary purpose is to not be noticed, and to fix poor vocal performances in the studio. And what I took away from Fergie trying to sing live is that, well, she can’t. She is a product of studio manipulation. Sure, she can rap/sing-talk fine, but you ask her to hold a note or carry a tune and her true, talentless colors come through bright and clear. Yikes. Well, at least she didn’t piss herself on stage this time. So she has that going for her, which is nice.

Oh, and Slash? Fuck you and your shiny top hat.

Sigh. Remember when Prince did the halftime show? That was awesome. Prince should just do all the halftime shows from now until the day he dies. And then we should just get replays of those.

Gary Numan
My World Storm (12” Mix)
My World Storm (Instrumental)
Could you imagine a Gary Numan halftime show? It would be amazing! He could come out in a little go-cart and rock out some of “Cars” before going into “Are ‘Friends’ Electric?” “Me! I disconnect from you” and close with a bitchin’ version of “Metal.” Sure, only eight people in the world would want to see that, but shit, we’d be stoked! These tracks are from a 12″.

Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Don’t Surrender (Extended Mix)
Don’t Surrender (The Most Excellent Mix)
Joan Jett’s halftime show would include her in a camouflage bikini top and leather pants. Then she’d beat the shit out of the entire defensive lines of both football teams.

John Foxx
Enter The Angel (Extended Mix)
Stairway
Foxx’s halftime show would…shit…I got nothing. It’s 2am. I should go to bed.

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Posted in B-sides, Gary Numan, Joan Jett, John Foxx, remixes | 12 Comments »

Another Post Before The Ice Storm

February 2nd, 2011

Short post tonight, but whatever, it has good music.

So far Pittsburgh has avoided Snowpacalypse 2011. Right now its just raining, and that rain isn’t even of the freezing variety. I’m sure we’ll get some form of wintery hell eventually however. So I’m not leaving my house until Thursday at the absolute earliest. The outside world is really overrated anyways.

Oh hey, I reviewed Pendulum’s new CD, go read that.

Also, while I didn’t review the new Duran Duran CD, my editor did. Read that, I think I like it more than him though. It’s pretty great. Its hard to find good pop music these days.

And hey, speaking of pop music(k)…

M
Pop Muzik (Britannia ’89 Remix)
Pop Muzik (Cabinet Remix)
Pop Muzik (The Hip Hop Club Remix)
Pop Muzik (The Hip Hop Remix)
Pop Muzik (Tolga’s Version)
Why not? I’ve posted a couple of these before, but if you’re like me and stuck in a fucking winter wonderland, then you might be feeling a bit down. Nothing like some good/great/godlike late 70s synthpop to really lift the spirits! These are all from various singles, CDs and other places. There are like 20 billion remixes of this song, so I’m not even trying to find out if these are available commercially still. I’m far too tired and slightly drunk to worry about that.

Posted in M., remixes | 2 Comments »

The Post Before The Ice Storm

February 1st, 2011

I buy a lot of vinyl.

I know, it’s shocking.

But I don’t just buy old out-of-print 12″ singles by synthpop artists, I buy new records too! I try to buy all new music exclusively on vinyl. I like to own something tangible when I buy music, and nothing is more tangible than vinyl.

Thankfully, a lot of labels and artists are picking up on this and releasing their records on vinyl the same day they are released digitally. This is cool of them, and it helps me keep faith that physical media isn’t quite dead yet.

However, they don’t always do it right, in fact sometimes the do it so wrong its just fucking insulting. Here are some of my biggest beefs with new vinyl releases.

No Digital Download
Yes, I buy vinyl partially because I think records sound better than MP3s, however, records sure as hell aren’t as convienent as MP3s. Its nice to have a digital copy of an album. And while I obviously know how to record an LP and convert it to MP3, not everyone does. So when they buy a vinyl copy of an album and it doesn’t come with a digital copy of the record they’re basically either forced to buy the album twice or steal it from a torrent site just to get the ability to play it on their computer or MP3 player. Labels shouldn’t make their customers resort to theft, they should give them the digital copy too. Not only that, if the person is buying the record from the artist or label’s official site, then they should get a link to download the tracks immediately and not have to wait for the physical copy to come in the damn mail. If I’m buying an album the day it comes out I want to listen to it the day it comes out, not wait two to four weeks for delivery.

ID Tags
Even if an artist includes a digital download with their vinyl release they can still find ways to fuck that up. One of the most annoying ways is when they don’t bother to create ID tags for the digital files. Sometimes they aren’t given track numbers, and other times album or even artist info is left blank! That’s just lazy and stupid. And that means that I have to fill that shit in. Is it the end of the world? No, but it’s really annoying. Everyone does this to some degree, but RJD2’s label seems to be particularly bad at it, which is annoying because I love his music and he’s a really nice guy. But seriously, how hard is it to make sure your MP3s are labeled properly?

Audio Quality
One of the reasons why I buy vinyl is because I hate over-compressed CDs that crank up the audio to levels that are far too loud. Vinyl actually can’t be too loud, the grooves can’t go that deep. Vinyl geeks like how vinyl sounds, so the MP3s that come with them should come from a vinyl source. Sadly, this is pretty rare. Most MP3 downloads that come with records are taken from the same digital, over-compressed, too-loud source that are used for the CD and digital release, so more often than not I end up recording my vinyl copy so I have a copy of the record for my iPod that actually sounds good. Is annoying. Of course, if they’re going to give vinyl buyers high quality versions of the songs then they might as well just give everyone those higher-quality versions, and we know that’s never going to happen. Nearly every digital download has this problem, I can only think of one notable exception: Beck’s Modern Guilt, which was actually taken from a master vinyl copy (you even hear the needle drop!) and it sounds amazing.

Extras
You can buy a digital copy of The New Pornographers’ Together at Amazon for $8.99. The CD costs just a scant more at $9.29. The LP costs $16.99, that’s almost like buying two digital copies. I know LPs cost more than CDs or digital copies to produce and distribute, but the consumers who shell out the extra bucks shoulnd’t have to eat all of that cost. Why can’t the labels or artists give us something extra since we paid extra? The added content can come in the way of bonus songs on MP3. Since the album should have a digital download link anyways, they should just throw a few more songs on it. It would cost the label almost nothing and actually encourage the fans to shell out more for the more expensive version. Everyone wins! The vinyl copy of El-P’s Weareallgoingtoburninhellmegamixx3 comes with digital download links to the first two volumes of the series, which is nice. However, those downloads lead me to my final point, which is…

Don’t be fucking lazy
The digital versions of the first two mixes are a great inclusion for fans, but they sound like SHIT. And I don’t mean that they are overcompressed or too loud, I mean that they sound like they were taken from a CD that was dragged through a shredder. Its hard to tell if the audio quality is supposed to be bad on these, I’m sure some of the audio glitches are intentional, but its hard to imagine that all the scratches, clips and other oddball audio effects included on these mixes were intentional. Even worse, both mixes have audio watermarks!

For those of you who don’t know, many times promo copies sent out to reviewers have audio watermarks included, these are usually distorted voices that play over the beginning or end of certain tracks, saying things like “You are listening to ALBUM” followed by a warning or an individualized number. These are included to help discourage leaks. They’re annoying enough on review copies, the fact that Definitive Jux couldn’t be bothered to remove them from a fucking FINAL COPY of a recording that is intended consumer use? Inexcusable! Now, it may be that these horribly annoying audio warnings were meant to be included in the original mixes, and if that’s the case then El-P is a fucking idiot.

You know who else is a fucking idiot? Kanye West. I just bought the deluxe vinyl version of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. And that thing is a fucking mess. No digital download, the audio quality is pretty crappy sounding and the art is censored!

The vinyl version of the album comes with, as Amazon describes “frameable artwork.”

Here’s one piece of the frameable artwork.

In case you were wondering, this is what the art is supposed to look like.

If that wasn’t bad enough, they even censor the art on the actual album.

You can’t even see the art from the outside of the box, so censoring it serves no purpose at all. Doing something like that requires a special kind of stupid. It’s really quite remarkable.

Dipshits.

Foxy Shazam
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
You know you aren’t dipshits? Foxy Shazam! They’re the opposite of dipshits, they are godlike geniuses who create music so fantasically amazing that if it gets any better it might cure cancer, solve world peace and function as a free energy source. I saw them last week and since then my eyesight has improved and I think my IQ has increased by 100 points. I also think I may have de-aged 10 years overnight and learned how to play every instrument ever known without taking a single lesson. This song, which is amazing and might just change your life strictly by the power of its perfect awesomeness, is from a 7″ single to their equally brilliant song “Oh Lord.”

Nine Inch Nails
Only (Richard X Edit
Only (Richard X Dub)
Only (EL-P Instrumental)
Nine In Nails are also not dipshits, and neither is Richard X, who created two of these great remixes. We’ve already been over the dipshitness of El-P, however. Thes are from a 12″.

Posted in B-sides, Foxy Shazam is the motherfucking real deal, NIN, remixes, Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

Little Big Music

January 26th, 2011

Nerd Alert!

I’ve been playing a lot of Little Big Planet 2 (or as the kids say, LBP2). I’m at the point now where I need to do some co-op stuff to unlock the hidden goodies. I keep trying to do this with random people online. But all the random people online kind of suck. No one will let me join their game, and when I have them join my game they just grief me. Goobers.

So if any of my readers play Little Big Planet 2 and are looking for a co-op partner, send me an email so we can talk about it. My email address is on the right side under my disclaimer.

Okay, the video game nerd talk is over, onto the music nerd talk!

Public Image Ltd.
Albatross (‘Melodrama’ Mix)
Death Disco (Swan Lake) (Unedited Monitor Mix)
I got these from a 12″ single that I’m fairly certain is a bootleg. If its not a bootleg it certainly doesn’t make its status as an “official” record obvious. There’s no label information, and no copyright marks anywhere. According to Discogs.com it was release in conjunction with John Lydon’s 2005 best-of compilation The Best Of British £1♫’s, which combined his best Sex Pistols and PIL tracks into one great 2xCD compilation. So maybe its one of those “official” unofficial things meant to appeal to hardcore collectors, who knows. I can tell you that this remix of “Albatross” does nothing to negate its status as one of the most abrasive tracks ever released by a major label recording artist, and that the remix of “Death Disco (Swan Lake)” is pretty much just an extended version of the already extended 12″ mix. If you have tolerance for Lydon’s lovey warble then you’ll probably dig both tracks. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate my love of Lydon at about a solid 7, so while I love the mix of “Death Disco (Swan Lake)” I think I would need to be paid to listen to that 10+ minute version of “Albatross” again. But hey, I’m sure me including here made some noise-rock loving hipster’s week, so I’m glad I can help spread dissonant joy around the world.

The Gossip
Listen Up (Tronik Youth Remix)
I have a bagillion remixes of Gossip tracks, one day I might actually buy a Gossip album. This is from a 12” single called “Indie Rock n’ Roll Remixed,” which also had that crazy version of Muse’s “Supermassive Black Hole” that I featured a few weeks ago. I’m fairly certain it’s a bootleg release as well.

Dalbello
Gonna Get Close To You
Wait For An Answer
Dalbello is a weird case. The Canadian born singer started out with happy-go-lucky disco in the late-80s, but in 1984 she completely reinvented herself (dropping her first name of Lisa in the process) and made a hard left from dance-pop into college-rock/alternative synth-pop with the release of Whomanfoursays, a collaboration between Lisa Dalbello herself and legendary David Bowie guitarist Mick Ronson. Its a tad dated, the sparse synthetic sound of the record isn’t exactly tearing up the pop charts of today, but that’s all part of its charm. Besides, Lisa Dalbellos’ voice powers through all of the the somewhat out-of-date production with a power that is nearly unmatched by more popular singers of her time.I don’t know why this album didn’t make a bigger splash when it came out, its a damn shame.

You can buy Whomanfoursays on Amazon for about 11 bucks. And you really should, so I’m not putting the complete album up here. However, I think more people should be exposed to the bitchin’ awesomeness that is Dalbello, so I’m going to share two of the tracks from the album. “Gonna Get Close To You” is the opening number, and really sets the stage for the whole record, with its emotional vocals, great guitar work and overall awesomeness. Oddly enough, it was covered by Queensryche just a couple years later. Their version is good too, and you can check it out here if you’re curious. “Wait For An Answer” is another standout cut, and probably features the range and power of Dalbello’s voice better than any other track on the album, which is really saying something since she sings like a mother on all the tracks.

So please, if you like these tracks do yourself a favor and pick of the album on Amazon. Like I said, its only 11 bucks, way more than worth it for those looking for amazing, well-written music by strong women who know how to rock, something that is sadly a rare commodity in pop music today (P!nk notwithstanding).

Posted in Dalbello, Public Image Ltd., The Gossip | 2 Comments »

Snow and Synths

January 21st, 2011

Its snowing.

Again.

You all have seen me rant about concert-goers, hipsters, video game companies, large retail websites, politicians, homophobes, sexists, racists, Jay Leno and Fergie. But man, I really hate shoveling snow. Unfortunately, there’s no point in ranting about how much I hate snow. When I go off about how much I hate rude concertgoers someone might read that and think “Hey, he’s right, I’m not going to talk at concerts anymore!” However, I highly doubt Mother Nature is reading my blog.

The nerve of her.

New Order
 Crystal (Digweed & Muir Bedrock Mix)
Crystal (Lee Coombs Remix)
Crystal (Digweed & Muir Bedrock Dub)
Crystal (John Creamer & Stephane K Main Remix)
Crystal (Creamer K Main Remix)
I don’t know if I’m more amazed at the fact that I found a New Order single I didn’t own or that the songs from the said single are not readily available online legally. A couple of these tracks can be bought at Amazon, but not individually, since they’re over 10 minutes you have to buy the whole album to get them. I hate that trick. I guess it makes sense for bands like Mars Volta, but it kind of fucks electronic artists over don’t you think? Of course, the worst is soundtracks. The fact that I can’t just buy “You’re The Best” from The Karate Kid soundtrack without being forced to buy the whole damn album is criminal! Bastards. There tracks are all from a 2×12″.

Dave Gahan
 Love Will Leave (Kap10kurt Remix)
Use You (Maps Remix)
Deeper And Deeper (T. Raumschmiere Remix Extended)
Saw Something (Onur Ozer Remix)
Deeper And Deeper (Sebastien Leger Remix)
I’m weird. I know this. Why? Because I own two Dave Gahan 12″ singles and remix compilation but I don’t actually own any of his albums. I had the same problem with Depeche Mode and New Order for a while too, before I went on a binge and bought all of their albums. It’s like I’m a reverse casual fan, who avoids the mainstream, easy to find releases but must have the bizarre, rare and hard-to-find stuff. These tracks are from an EP called Hourglass Remixes, which, as you can imagine, a collection of remixes of songs from the album Hourglass. There are eight tracks on that album, but three of them are available at Amazon, so I’m not putting them up here. Luckily, the awesome remix of “Use You” was not one of those tracks, so you get to enjoy it for free. I love this song, only Dave Gahan can make treating someone like garbage sound sexy.

Posted in Dave Gahan, Depeche Mode, New Order, remixes | 1 Comment »

A is for Awesome

January 19th, 2011

Tonight’s post is brought to you by the letter “A” because I’m too lazy sometimes to shift through my massive queue of future blog tracks.

The Alarm
Strength (Power Mix)
Absolute Reality ( Inpromptu Acoustic Version)
People have called The Alarm pretentious in the past, and I think that label is total bullshit. A pretentious band thinks highly of themselves while thinking less of those around them. The Alarm probably think very highly of themselves, but if the lyrics to songs like “Strength” are any indication at all, they also think very highly of their audience as well as the general population.

A better word to describe The Alarm would be “earnest.” Songs like “Strength” convey an overwhelming feeling of earnestness; they really want you to believe what they are saying because it’s some important shit! I get the feeling that The Alarm thought that songs like these were Incredibly Important and could change Things. And there’s a certain level of respect that should be given to them because of that.

“Strength” is one bad-ass song. Its the kind of song you listen to help get yourself out of a post-breakup doldrum, or possibly as the soundtrack to a really rough cardio workout. I’m sure it was a contender for a montage song in a Rocky movie at one point. The acoustic version of “Absolute Reality” is less blood-pumpingly good, but it’s still a really great tune. Both of these are from a 12″ single.

Art Of Noise
Dragnet (Arthur Baker Mix)
Acton Art
Dragnet (Art of Noise 12” Mix)
Dragnet (Art of Noise 7” Mix)
The Art of Noise have nothing in common with The Alarm, aside from the fact that both play music and start with the letter “A.” If The Alarm is earnest then these remixes of the Dragnet Theme are most certainly not. What’s the opposite of earnest? Goofy? Yeah, that sums these tracks up pretty damn well. I love the wacky lo-tech sampling of The Art Of Noise, taking a note, sampling it, and then adjusting the pitch to create different “notes” of that sound. There’s something so perfectly 80s about it, like headbands and Alf. So what I’m saying is that The Art of Noise are the Alf of music. Yeah, that makes sense. These are remixes of the theme of the 1980s Dragnet movie, meaning they are the probably the only tracks I will ever feature on this blog that will feature the vocal stylings of Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd.

Oh and that’s not a typo, that one track is called “Acton Art” not “Action Art.”

Posted in B-sides, remixes, The Alarm, The Art Of Noise | 1 Comment »

A blog post light years beyond your imagination!

January 14th, 2011

Man, you all gave me a lot of great guesses what the stupidest movie of 1983 was! And while none of you were right (okay, maybe you two who guessed Superman III were) I’m going to go out on a limb and say that neither was I. But here’s the soundtrack to one of the stupidest movies of 1983

Krull Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
After doing a bit of research I’ll no longer claim that Krull was the stupidest movie of 1983. That was the year when both Amityville 3-D and Jaws 3-D were released, and they are both some of the most epically stupid films ever made.

But before I defend the movie I previously bashed, I should probably tell you all what its about, since I’m willing to bet that most of you have barely even heard of the flick.

Krull is a bizarre sci-fi/fantasy hybrid set on the semi-magical world of…Krull. A young princess and prince are about to wed, but on the day of their wedding an evil space alien referred to only as The Beast crashes the party and kidnaps the bride-to-be, hoping to make her his own. Now its up to the prince, with his awesome boomerang of death called the Glave,  to rescue her! It’s just like Super Mario Bros. but with less magic mushrooms. On his quest to rescue her, the prince and his merry band of cannon fodder encounter one calamity after another, including surprise quicksand, shapeshiting demons and seemingly endless armies of evil cyborgs with lasers. In the end, the prince and the princess literally defeat The Beast with the power of love and live happily ever after.

No, that’s not a spoiler, did you really think he’d fail?

1983 saw a lot of sci-fi/fantasy combos, and Krull isn’t even the stupidest one of them. There was the atrocious rotoscroped monstrosity Fire And Ice; the straight-to-video scholckfest of Deathstalker; and  the notoriously bad prehistoric/sci-fi abomination Yor, the Hunter from the Future.

But why so many sci-fi/fantasy mashups? Just think about it.

It’s 1983, Star Wars is tearing up all box office records. What’s another big hit? Conan The Barbarian. The hacks of Hollywood (and Italy, in the case of Yor) must have collectively thought “Man, if Conan is big and Star Wars is huge then if we combine them we’ll be unstoppable!”

Of course, they all bombed epically, Krull included.

And yeah,  Krull is big stupid bomb, but its a really fun big stupid bomb! While a lot of these flicks are obvious rush jobs designed to make a quick buck, you can at least say that a lot of heart went into Krull. The sets are gorgeous, the action not half-bad, and lot of the actors (including Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane -who is dubbed) make the most of the corny material.

More on topic, it also has a great score by James Horner! Its so great that he blatantly stole portions of it while doing the score to Aliens a few years later. Listen to the last few tracks, and you will totally hear the finale to Aliens. Aside from (or perhaps because of) that, it’s a pretty great score, very heroic.

Tonight I am sharing a rip of the vinyl soundtrack to Krull. This is not the complete score. That is only available on a two-disc CD set that costs a bloody fortune now. And, I’m sorry, while I love Krull, I don’t love it that much.

Enjoy it. Listen to it while mountain climbing or something.

Posted in Complete Albums, soundtrack | 8 Comments »

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