Drew Barrymore could kick The Prodigy’s Ass

January 10th, 2011

Its going to be another week of weird/stupid/bizarre soundtrack selections at Lost Turntable! I know they’re everyone’s favorite. And by “everyone” I mean the copyright police. So get them fast.

Firestarter Original Motion Picture Soundtrack – Tangerine Dream
Crystal Voice
The Run
Testlab
Charly The Kid
Escaping Point
Rainbirds Move
Burning Force
Between Realities
Shop Territory
Flash Final
Firestarter was by far the best movie from 1984 about a pyrokenetic pre-teen girl. It starts Drew Barrymore as the title character, who is on the run with her father from The Shop, a covert government agency whose experiments gave both Drew’s father and mother psychic powers that she somehow inherited. Its about as silly as it sounds, but it has its appeal, mostly because its fucking BRUTAL. The dad has mind control powers that he uses to force people to commit suicide, and at the end of the movie Drew unleashes hell (almost literally), setting about what seems like half of the greater New England area in the process. Its pretty epic. The effects of people getting set ablaze are pretty excellent, and I still don’t know how they engineered some of the scenes where you see people get lit up and fly 50 feet in the air.

While Not as blazingly amazing as that finale, the soundtrack to Firestarter is pretty good. It’s by no means Tangerine Dream’s best, Risky Business, Legend, and even Flashpoint are better, but its still great ambient music. Listen to it while meditating, or to maybe help develop your psychic powers.

Later this week I will be posting the soundtrack to the dumbest movie of 1983. A no-prize to the first person who guesses what that is.

Posted in soundtrack, Tangerine Dream | 4 Comments »

I’m more like an A380

January 8th, 2011

When I proclaimed that “The Time (Dirty Bit)” was the worst song of the millennium behind “My Humps” I had not yet heard “Like A G6” by The Far East Movement. So she wants to be like a private jet that drinks purple drank? Yikes. Sometimes I just wanna give up on pop culture and move to Yemen or something.

Yellow Magic Orchestra
 Limbo
S.E.T. 1
The Madmen
S.E.T. 2
Chinese Whispers
S.E.T. 3
You’ve Got To Help Yourself
S.E.T. + YMO
Shadows on the Ground
S.E.T. 4
See-Through
S.E.T. 5
Perspective
S.E.T. 6
Just like I promised, here’s some more from Ryuichi Sakamoto! All these tracks are from Service, which is the only Japanese Yellow Magic Orchestra album I own. Not surprisingly, it’s also the weirdest. While the Americanized versions of their albums are just all music, most of their Japanese albums also included comedy bits by the Super Eccentric Theater (or S.E.T.). YMO performed most of their songs in English, the bits by S.E.T. are strictly in Japanese. So, unless you speak Japanese, they’re pretty much pointless to listen to. As far as the actual music goes…well, it’s okay. Its a very good 80s synthpop album, but their earlier albums are much better and far more experimental. This was the last YMO album proper, and the group didn’t record together again until a decade later.

Posted in Ryuichi Sakamoto, Yellow Magic Orchestra, YMO | 2 Comments »

Some Dirty Shit

January 5th, 2011

Has anyone out there heard The Black Eyed Peas’ “The Time (Dirty Bit)”? I managed to avoid it for a while because I don’t listen to pop radio. But the gym I workout at has started playing it over and over (and over and over) the past few weeks, so now I can’t escape its inhuman fury. If you are really curious as to the level of its awfulness, watch the (equally awful) video here. It’s bad. You’ve been warned.

Next to “My Humps,” “The Time (Dirty Bit)” is probably the worst piece of pop shit that The Black Eyed Peas have ever unleashed onto the public. For those of you who just want a brief explanation as to why its so bad, I think Deadspin’s Drew Magary says it best:

GAHHH IT’S EVEN FUCKING WORSE THERE IS NO JESUS! IT’S LIKE YOUR MOTHER BEING KILLED AND SOMEONE AUTOTUNED HER SCREAMS OF AGONY!

He sums it up quite well. But allow me to elaborate a (dirty) bit.

“The Time (Dirty Bit)” might just be the first song to feature every single thing I hate about modern pop music and mash it all together into one unholy abomination of shit. There’s the blatant sample of a classic used only to create a radio hook; the overused autotune, the meaningless lyrics about partying and fucking; the hideous chiptune-inspired melody that sounds like it was lifted from a broken NES game. It’s all there and it’s all shit. Shit that gets in my damn head and refuses to leave until I force it out with an injection of Madonna, Kylie, or some other artist who can actually create, good, catchy pop music.

I mean, my GOD. Its horrible. Its success makes me weep more for the youth of America than any other shitstained style-over-substance piece of computer-enhanced trash they seem to be going for as of late.

Sure, there are worst bands out there than The Black Eyed Peas, but what makes me so upset is that they used to be good! I bet you didn’t know that The Black Eyed Peas used to be a critically acclaimed alternative rap group! Its true! Check out the awesome video for Joints & Jam. See that amazing woman singing the chorus (which is a tasteful lift from the theme to “Grease” that isn’t a blatant attempt drawing pop appeal)? That’s Kim Hill.

Kim Hill is the shit. She left the group before their (not bad) second album came out. I read an interview with her once where she said that the label was pressuring them to write songs that would eventually become booty-anthems like “My Humps” and she didn’t want any part of that. Kim Hill is an intelligent woman who wants to be taken seriously as a singer and writer. She wanted to be taken seriously so much that she literally walked away from millions in order to maintain her integrity and avoid degrading herself for cash.

Luckily for Will.I.Am and the other two remaining members of The Black Eyed Peas they found Fergie, a woman who obviously has no such qualms about objectifying herself for the sake of a quick buck. Want someone to sing about their “lovely lady lumps” and then put on a girl scout outfit and roll around in candy? Fergie’s your woman! The sad thing is that Fergie isn’t that bad a singer, she just allows herself to be degraded and shit upon for the sake of album sales. Maybe she’s afraid to do something honest and real because she doesn’t want to end up like Kim Hill and chucked out of the band for another pop tart who will eagerly take her place? Geez, that’s even more depressing.

Man, now I’m bummed. I’m going to go listen to “Request + Line.” Hopefully the group that made that track will record another album someday.

Ryuichi Sakamoto
Love And Hate (Hate Mix)
Love And Hate (Message Mix – Single Edit)
Love And Hate (Love Mix)
Love And Hate (NYC Personal Mix)
Moving On (12” Mix)
Moving On (No Drum Pass)
Moving On (Radio Mix)
Ryuichi Sakamoto is the keyboardist to Yellow Magic Orchestra, a band I love. He also is an Oscar-wining composer, having done original scores for films like The Last Emperor, Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence and Snake Eyes. He also did the score to Seven Samurai 20XX video game. What I’m saying is, the dude gets around. I don’t have much of his solo pop work, just these two singles. However, if they are any indication as to the quality of his work, I should really get some more. Anyone have any recommendations? I hear good things about Neo Geo.

The  vocalist on the “Love And Hate” mixes is Holly Johnson, who you may know as the lead singer of everyone’s favorite band of perverts, Frankie Goes To Hollywood. I do not know who handles the vocals for “Moving On” so any help would be appreciated.

Hopefully I’ll have more Sakamoto-related work later this week.

Paperboy
Ditty (Radio Mix)
Ditty (New Hype Mix)
Man, now THIS is a jam. What happened to hip hop man? Sure there’s some good indie and alternative shit out there. But now its all Autotune and programmed beats. Its a drag! Someone recommend me good new hip hop that doesn’t use Autotune! That’s a requirement, no Autotune. These are from a 12” single.

Posted in Paperboy, rant, remixes, Ryuichi Sakamoto | 11 Comments »

Happy .NUXX Year

December 30th, 2010

This will most likely be my only post of the week. By extension this makes it my last post of the year! So lets send off 2010 with a bang and hope that 2011 is better!

Underworld
King Of Snake (Barking Mix)
King Of Snake (Fatboy Slim Remix)
King Of Snake (Slam Remix)
King Of Snake (Straight [Mate] Mix)

Jumbo (Future Shock Worlds Apart Mix)
Jumbo (Jedis Electro Dub Mix)
Jumbo (Jedis Sugar Hit Mix)
Jumbo (Rob Rives & Francois K. Main Dish)
Cups (Salt City Orchestra Vertical Bacon Vocal)

Push Upstairs (Adam Beyer Remix)
Push Upstairs (Darren Price Remix)
Push Upstairs (Roger S. Blue Plastic People Mix)
Please Help Me
Bruce Lee (Dobropet)
Bruce Lee (Short Version)
Bruce Lee (The Micronauts Remix)

Born Slippy .NUXX (Darren Price Remix 2)
Born Slippy .NUXX (Deep Pan)
Born Slippy .NUXX (Nuxx & Darren Price Remix)

Underneath The Radar (12” Remix)

In my research of Underworld while reviewing their excellent new album Barking, I came across this. Now, as Beaucoup Fish is one of my favorite albums of the 1990s, the fact that this existed and I did not know of it came as quite the shock to me. I was obsessed with Beaucoup Fish when it came out, listening to “King Of Snake” at a frequency that no doubt drove my then college roommate absolutely bonkers. My other favorite tracks on the album were “Bruce Lee”, “Jumbo” and “Push Upstairs.” And there was a box set that included remixes of these songs and I didn’t know about it! Man, I’m slipping.

Well, luckily for all of you, my discovery of this set was was so delayed (11 years or so) that by the time I picked it up it was out of print. Since you can’t get it new legally anymore, I feel as if it is my civic duty to share the amazing remixes on that set!

The “King Of Snake” mixes are the best, although the first two do end rather abruptly. The Fatboy Slim mix, like everything that bald bastard was putting out at the time, is freaking brilliant. The Dave Clark mix of the track is also on that disc, but my vinyl rip of it sounds better than the CD one, and you can find that here.

The “Push Upstairs” mixes are all very good, but the highlights from that disc are really the remixes of “Bruce Lee” which take that nonsensical ode to Kung Fu and make it even more epic with throbbing beats and pulsing rhythms ripped straight from an all night rave circa 1997. The B-side “Please Help Me” is also excellent. Take everything I just said and repeat it for all the remixes of “Jumbo,” many of which are better than the original version.

But wait! There’s more! All this Underworld reminiscing got me thinking about their seminal classic “Born Slippy .NUXX.” So I dug some remixes of that banger out of my virtual vault. And just to show how much Underworld has changed over the years, I’m also throwing up a remix of their synthpop-era track “Underneath The Radar,” a superb example of 80s pop and dance that I bet most people don’t know about.

Enjoy the beats and have a safe New Years everyone! Don’t get as drunk as I’m planning to!

Posted in B-sides, remixes, Underworld | 8 Comments »

Space Disco Christmas Dance Party!

December 25th, 2010

Hey look, it’s Christmas! Merry Christmas everyone who celebrates it! And happy Saturday for everyone who doesn’t! I promised an especially bizarre/stupid/amazing post to celebrate the holiday and I think what you’re about to read/hear won’t disappoint in that regard.

Giorgio Moroder
Theme from “Battlestar Galactica”
Evolution

A lot of times I have  a hard time quantifying the stupidity of the 1970s. Its so hard to explain. I’ve always had a hard time trying to find a singular piece of pop culture that accurately and succinctly describes just how batshit stupid the decade that brought us Saturday Night Fever, Pet Rocks and water beds really was.

I think with this record I may have found it. This might just be the most brilliant-yet-stupid album I own. That’s really saying something. I own several Meco records by the way.

Giorgio Moroder’s interpretation of the Battlestar Galactia soundtrack came out in 1978, the same year that the original television series aired on ABC. I’m not going to talk much about the show, I’ll just say that if you’re only a fan of the super-serious 2000s re-imagining of the series then the utter stupidity of the 1970s one will probably come as a shock to you if you haven’t seen it before.

The album is basically two long pieces, one on each side. On side one there is Moroder’s take on the original theme. It’s a odd one alright, taking the majestic and bombastic original and filtering it through about every disco trick in the book to make it twice as goofy, and somehow even more bombastic than the original TV show theme. Its fun and silly for sure, but it’s also pretty standard disco fare, with boogie-woogie beats, wah-wah guitars and some of the worst “love is so awesome” lyrics you’re likely to hear outside of a revival of Hair.

Where this record really shines is on the b-side, with the longform “Evolution” piece. This is the Moroder from the late 1970s I love. Minimal (well, as minimal as a 17-minute disco track inspired by TV sci-fi can get), distant, cold and oddly menacing, all while being jam-packed of booty-shaking synths and guitar licks. Its probably one of Moroder’s best pieces of the period, which makes the fact that its been lost in the sands of disco time

Of course, it would be impossible to mention this record and not bring up that amazing cover.

Wow. I wanted to take a high-resolution picture of it for you all, but sadly my digital camera is MIA at the moment. That cover certainly is something else isn’t it? For me, questions that arise from looking at it include “Was that woman ever on the TV show? (And if so, how was it ever cancelled?)” and “Are steel bras really that comfortable/effective?” If anyone out there has any information about that stunning work of art I’d love to hear it!

Enjoy the holiday everyone! And I’ll see you all next week!

Posted in Giorgio Moroder | 8 Comments »

Merry Vodka!

December 23rd, 2010

Update: Okay, so the next time I realize something I’m doing is a horrible idea, perhaps I should listen to my inner self and not do it. That way I don’t get corrected by two rightfully pissed off people.

The idea of posting “Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa” as a joke Christmas song was a really stupid idea, not to mention offensive and in pretty bad taste. Joking about topics like that isn’t cool, and help to perpetuate a culture that accepts it. I don’t know what I was thinking when I decided it would be a good idea, actually I probably wasn’t thinking at all. I’m sorry, it wasn’t funny, it wasn’t smart and it wasn’t witty. It was stupid.

I’m not changing what I wrote, I feel that part of owning up to mistakes is to leave them for everyone to see, but I wanted to include this apology with the post so everyone knows that it was something I should not have done.

OMG I’m in Toledo! Oh, the horror, the horror of it all. I’m away from my home, my friends, my fish and my turntable (sob!). Worst of all, I’m away from Pac-Man Championship Edition DX. Where, the last I checked, I was ranked as the 16th best player in the world! I need my Pac-Man fix, for reals. I’m gonna start hallucinating little yellow pellets and ghosts soon. Or maybe that’s just the vodka. Mmm…vodka.

Wait, what was I complaining about again?

De La Soul
Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa (Full Mix)
Keepin’ The Faith (7” UK Version)
Keepin’ The Faith (No Bass Mix)
Keepin’ The Faith (Straight Pass)
Yup, here’s my big Christmas song, a track about a topic so dark and disturbing that I’m not going to mention it because I don’t want to trigger anyone. Y’know, the idea of making it my blog’s Christmas song seemed a lot funnier in my head. Oh well, I’ve never been one to back away from a horrible idea! “Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa” is a great track, even if it is a little bit of a downer for the holidays. After you listen to it and get depressed, listen to “Keepin’ the Faith” to cheer yourself up. It’s a happy tune! And if you still need some good seasonal music go listen to “Fairytale In New York.”

Prince
Purple Medley (Edit)
Purple Medley
And shit, if “Keepin’ The Faith” can’t get you in an upbeat mood, then the full length “Purple Medley” which features about 80 bagillion different Prince songs, should get you out of any holiday funk. Ironic since it, in itself, is nothing but funk. These are from a 12” single. To my knowledge neither version of the “Purple Medley” have ever been released on any album.

Posted in De La Soul, Prince, remixes | 8 Comments »

Have a Belgium Electronica Christmas

December 21st, 2010

So Christmas is rapidly approaching. Oh joy. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love my some Christmas. I get good gifts and I get to see family I like. Unfortunately, that family is in Ohio and to see them I’ll have to spend a whole freaking week in the state where hope dies.

I plan on getting in two more posts before then though. I have some remixes of a kinda-sorta holiday tune I want to get in here before Christmas comes around, and I want to give you all the Christmas present of horrible/amazing disco. I don’t want to say too much, I’ll just say that the album I plan on uploading this Christmas Eve may, in fact, be the stupidest fucking thing I have ever put on this blog. And when you look back and see some of the shit I’ve subjected you all to, that is really…really saying something! So you all have that to look forward to this week, which is nice.

Until then, Belgium electronic music! Enjoy.

Hooverphonic
Club Montepulciano (Bugs Downtown Remix)
Club Montepulciano (Bugs Uptown Remix)
Club Montepulciano (Hooverphonic Funk Remix)
Club Montepulciano (808 State Remix)
I never heard of Hooverphonic before I bought this 12”, which I picked up only because I saw 808 State’s name on one of the remixes. I’m glad I did though, because these remixes are some funky chilled out shit (that’s a good thing). This is the most chill stuff I’ve ever heard from Belgium, of course the only other bands I know from that country are Soulwax and Lords of Acid, neither band being known for relaxing, mellow grooves.

Lords of Acid
Do What You Wanna Do (D.O.’s Pleasure And Pain Mix)
Do What You Wanna Do (Jade And Khan Erotix Mix)
Do What You Wanna Do (Carl Says “Do It Boy” Mix)
I Sit On Acid ’95
Sex Bomb (Live)
Speaking of Lords of Acid! I didn’t realize until about five minutes ago that both these bands are from Belgium. This Belgium-themed post was entirely accidental. Maybe the lunar eclipse on the winter solstice has something to do with it, and its changing my astrological whatever so I have an increased subconscious desire to listen to Belgium electronic music. Whatever, it makes about as much sense and is as plausible as anything else involving astrology. Did anyone get a chance to see Lords of Acid this summer? I saw they recruited a Rock of Love contestant as their new lead singer. Was she any good? Did she cover Tom Jones’ “Sex Bomb?” These remixes and live cuts are from a CD Single.

Posted in 808 State, Hooverphonic, Lords Of Acid, remixes | 3 Comments »

I know what Somnambulist means, but I don’t know how to pronounce it.

December 16th, 2010

Tonight’s post is all about the beats! I’m totally dancing as I type this. Okay, not really, but I would be if I was standing up.

Moby
Hymn (Menacing)
Hymn (Dirty Hypo)
Hymn (Lucky Orgasm)
Hymn (I Believe)
The original version of Hymn is the opening track on Moby’s Everything Is Wrong album, and I think that it is one of the greatest opening tracks ever. It’s a quiet, beautiful tune that is almost zen-like. Of course, on Everything Is Wrong it is immediately followed by the freakishly fast-paced and upbeat “Feeling So Real,” so that feeling of oneness is pretty short-lived. These remixes are great, but they don’t have much in common with the original track, and are actually dance tunes for the most part. My favorite is the “Lucky Orgasm” mix…which is something I really hate saying.

What does that even mean? Does that mean you were lucky to have an orgasm, or that your orgasms are good luck? Never mind. I have more jokes/material on this topic, but my mom reads this blog.

BT
Somnambulist (Sander Kleinenberg’s Convertable Mix)
Somnambulist (Burufunk Mix)
I remember when this song came out. I was living in Toledo, Ohio (not something I recommend) and the city just got an awesome all-dance radio station. It was independently run, and if I recall I didn’t even have commercials! I remember the craziest thing about it was that it was owned by a Christian company. My friends and I all found it funny that a religious group was hosting a radio station that featured music made to listen to while heavily medicated. I think it only lasted about a year or so, but during that time they played various versions of this track nearly everyday. What’s really weird about these versions is that they strip out all the crazy stutter effects of the original, which was the biggest draw of the track when it first came out. Regardless, they still excellent remixes of a great song. These are from a 2×12” single, but I only have the second record. If anyone has the Junkie XL remix that’s on the first, I’d be very appreciative if they sent it my way.

Oh, and it means “sleepwalker,” in case you were still wondering.

Posted in BT, Moby, remixes | 5 Comments »

Erasing Logic

December 15th, 2010

Not much to say tonight, why don’t you go listen to all that music!

Erasure
In My Arms (Dekkard Dub)
Sometimes (John ’00’ Fleming Full Vocal Club Mix)
Sometimes (John ’00’ Fleming Give It Some Welly Dub Mix)
Rain (Jon Pleased Wimmin Dub)
Rain (Jon Pleased Wimmin Vocal Mix)
First Contact (Instrumental Mix)
In My Arms (BBE Mix)
Okay this is the end of the Erasure insanity, for the most part. I still have one more track from this record (the vinyl version of the Rain: Plus EP) that I have to re-record because it was all scratched to hell. So if I can fix that track, I’ll post it. Until then, enjoy the fabulousness. Even without the first track this EP is a real winner. The highlight of course being the remixes of “Somtimes” a song I love so much that I think it could be remixed and remade in an all xylophone arrangement and I’d still dig it.  Althought I worship this track, it has always confused me a bit. I was talking about this track with a friend today, and when pressed I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what the song was actually about. The verses are all about love and getting it on, but the choruses are horribly depressing. Now sure, I just summed up nearly all Erasure songs with that little description, but the contrast is even greater here. Anyone care to help?

Underworld
 King Of Snake (Rick’s Bungalow Remix)
King Of Snake (Dave Clarke Remix)
Speaking of confusing lyrics. Shit, if anyone can offer any explanation to any lyrics of any Darren Emerson-led Underworld track I will give them a cookie. I’m going to venture that this song is about snake charmers, or maybe snakes. Nah, it’s probably about GHB. These remixes are from a 12” single.

Posted in Erasure, remixes, Underworld | 4 Comments »

Let Me Eat That Cake

December 11th, 2010

This post is brought to you by Octopus vs. Whale Cake.

Its the best cake ever. Words are meaningless now that you’ve seen it.

Annie
Always Too Late (Joakim Dub Mix)
Helpless Fool For Love (Patrick Wolf Remix)
Always Too Late (Joakim Vocal Mix)
I like Annie and these are excellent remixes. But it’s 2:30 AM and I’m out of material. Go look at the cake again!

Erasure
Freedom (Quake Vocal Remake)
Freedom (Untidy Dub)
In My Arms (Love to Infinity Gyrator Club Mix)
In My Arms (Love to Infinity Stratomaster Mix)
The march of fabulousness continues with more Erasure mixes. I have at least one more day of these, possibly two. It depends how much I want to spread the Erasure goodness. Okay, that sounded gross. Go back to the cake.

Posted in Annie, CAKE!, Erasure, OMG LOOK AT THAT FUCKING CAKE! | 6 Comments »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »